When I first got into yoga 12 years ago, I was told it was impolite to point your feet at your guru. I got over the concern on a theoretical level, but by that time it had escalated to not pointing anything whatsoever at anyone. I still have some of it left over. I went from the panic of behaving like my toes were deadly weapons to jokingly swirling my fingers about like magic wands of fairy dust. I do have to distract myself from succumbing to petty focii though.

I can understand that perfectly, though I haven't experienced symptoms so severe in a very long time.

My life was being ruined by things like spending 10 hours cleaning the bathroom, or all day at work organizing the used nuts and bolts. I think it's OCPD, (Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder) characterized by graphology, self-documentation, & such. My obsession with lists and writing prioritization software has become a high science. The moment one system seems complete, I build another instead of using the former. Fortunately, I stopped most of that when I recognized what was going on and how futile it actually was.

That sounds the same as french to me! That shows what all those years of french classes did! Once, my teacher wote all the homework in german, and I couldn't tell the difference!

That is truly pathetic. It's hard for me to imagine a second day student not being able to distinguish french from german. They aren't even in the same family. Germanic languages include english and dutch; Romantic languages include french, italian, and spanish. Languages share a lot of cognates (almost the same word ie 'hound' and 'hund'). A bright person who knows french can read italian and spanish as well. You would have suspected a problem if the homework was in russian or vietnamese I hope.

I can only recognize three types of languages. English, ones I can't read that have words sort of like english, and ones I can't read that have characters like in China, and yes, it is pathetic.

Why is it pathetic? If someone never studied languages, how would they ever know the difference between them?

I guess I can't imagine not being exposed to several languages all your life, whethar you wanted to or not. I live in California. The LA school district has speakers of 102 different languages. Almost all product warranties and instructions come in several languages these days. I would think an english speaker never exposed to a foreign language, shown one paragraph of german and one of french without the provision of interpretation would at least henceforth be able to discern which text was french like, and which was germanic. Perhaps I was underestimating my own gifts for this particular kind of discernment or perhaps even my inadvertant exposure to foreign language at a young age with it's unperceived influence was of greater incidence than in other peoples lives.

My daughter at the age of three used to babble in spanish. None of her words were actual spanish, but the guttarals, inflections, tempo, accents, dipthongs, etc. were all clearly spanish.

Er, perhaps you forget I live in a bilingual country, where everything fown to the Corn Flakes are in two languages? Or that I'm from Toronto, where 2 of the 4 million people are immigrants from all over the place? No offense, but you

should check out the demographics before you lecture me on language exposure!

It might be easy to tell the difference between languages - say Arabic and Chinese - just by looking at the similarity of characters, but how on earth could anyone be expected to know what was French or German if they were never

exposed to it and knew nothing about it?

Kristal, you have a tendency to derive everything from your own personal experience. People have different endowments, aside from different experiences. I wouldn't call that pathetic at all.

I was arguing about Jemmy's exposure to foreign language, not yours, and saying I have no idea what it was, aside from she's probably seen some instruction manuals, and even then, she's likely to have alluded those as well. You know, just from you corn-flakes, that if it has a lot of 'ment's or 'qu's. German has a bunch of words that start with 'w'. Jemmy was in a french class. One would hope within the first week that they had been exposed to 'le'' 'la', and 'les'. German doesn't have those definite articles; it has 'die', 'der', 'das', 'dem', 'den'. I wouldn't expect her to identify that homework as german, but surely she had enough exposure to realize it couldn't be french.

** and I missed addressing the endowment aspect. Jemmy is a divine being and I'm sure she has many endowments of her own, but within the limited context of scholarly aptitude, this demonstrated a deficit. But it's kind of irrelevant anyhow, because I don't fully believe her. Read into this argument about clocks and watches for instance; Pageantry.

Of which I accuse you and I as well.

I know full well your corn-flakes have french text.

You realize all this came from was the fact you called it pathetic Also, she lives in the same country as me - same labels on the food

On the former, yes.

On the latter, no. Boggling.

Vas-tu commencer à suivre plus en classe? Qu'es que vous faites en classe? Des dictées et de la lecture, où est-ce que vous parlez beaucoup aussi? Moi, ce que je détestai c'était la grammaire!!!

Okay I think you said um...I don't know the first thing...when people talk in french class, do I talk to? What do we do in French Class? And you hate grammar too? Well, my answers would be we doing something about clothes in french, and yes, I talk, but to my friends, and definatley not in French.

well, what I was asking was more in the lines of Are you going to try and follow more in class, What is it that you do in French class? Read and write, or do you do a lot of talking too(in French) What I really hated was all the grammar work. ;)

Oh! Well, we do a lot of boring stuff, and I don't really pay attention. It bores me.

I loved french when it was mostly conversational. When I changed schools, we primarily conjugated 27 tenses of a verb weekly, et lisont "les trois mousquetairres". thus I moved on to German. The two years and working in a Citroën garage were enough to understand you, at least.

The best way to learn it, is to have a classmate or some other french speaker converse with you in your free time, and carry a dictionary to look up words you might need. Speak in pseudo french ie. J'ai thinkez que elle ne mange pas

mes earrings.. eventually you can learn to replace thoso verbs and nouns you do not know, but don't let it stop you from practicing what you do know. Pseudo german is a bit easier to conjugate.

But why do I want to speak French in my free time? I already know how to speak English.

So you could know two languages!

And Kristal Rose. I know what you mean... I spent a whole lot of time doing that myself!!! It is good though to know the grammar cause it helps you learn the way to say certain verbs and when to use what... its just really complicated and long..

As for the reading, I didnt mind it at all, have you ever read "Le Petit Prince"? And Jemmy too, if you have any free time, you might like it, its a short book and a favorite of mine, you could try and read it in French :)

It's hard to know two languages though. I've already learned one, and now I am being told different words. I'm constantly trying to translate in my head.

The best way to learn it, is to have a classmate or some other french speaker converse with you in your free time, and carry a dictionary to look up words you might need. Speak in pseudo french ie. J'ai thinkez que elle ne mange pas mes earrings.. eventually you can learn to replace thoso verbs and nouns you do not know, but don't let it stop you from practicing what you do know. Pseudo german is a bit easier to conjugate.

But why do I want to speak French in my free time? I already know how to speak English.

You can han have as much fun speaking french after school if you make a game of it. You can see how wild you can converse with what little you know, or use it as a secret language. It would turn your time in class into something that is not wasted. In the future you can be proud and delighted that you learned french instead of feeling dopey that you missed the opportunity. Acting dopey works fine when you have charm and good young looks, but in a few years I imagine it will take it's toll when you begin to take it seriously and find yourself limited in who you associate with. Besides, you may move to france for a summer. Do you regret any skills or knowledge you have attained yet? There is very little taught in high school that is of no value. History for instance isn't so much about remembering things that happened long ago as it is about recognizing the change society is capable of and how it comes about. Calculus may only be of importance to seeing patterns in the physics that surround us, and trigonometry only useful if you chopping trees or building cabinets, but basic algebra is usuful around the house for determining purchases, working with project calendars, etc. High school is about acquiring tools you will use throughout life, even if you only see the useless knowledge aspect by which the tools are taught. The french language is organic, artistic, peotic. In contrast, german is solid, modular, and engineered. The french make a car, the citroën which is highly squiggly and organic, the germans make the mercedes which is solid modular engineering, the french make wines with twig whips and adding bits of egg white and such, the germans plant their grapes in concrete beds and explore more chemistry. When you learn french, you learn not only the language, but the way of thinking. Knowing how other people think makes this world a much more fascinating delight.

You might enjoy 'le petit prince'. If you speak the pseudo-french (or not), the idea is to get yourself in a space where you don't translate. When you see your fuzzy friend you immediately think 'chien' ou 'chat'. Like flashcards, walk around and name things in french. Thinking in french takes practice too, but once you do, it greatly accelerates your learning. Practice letting french vocabulary come to you without thinking in english, otherwise it is the translation burden you've been describing. When you draw, you think in colors and squiggles, not words; it's much the same thing. Bi-lingual people don't translate, they think in one language or the other.

The only books I have in french now are Nostrodamus, and Rabelais. There was a time when I read authors like Marion Zimmer Bradley ("Les vents aux folies"), automotive repair manuals, and a lot of art and gallery critiques. The last thing I was reading in french was an Erica Jong novel that I gave up on because I didn't like the characters. When I was a teen, I was fond of 'heavy metal' and 'moebius' comics.

Well if you're ever looking for a French book to pick up, try it :)

I didn't much care for it in english (it's available on the web, Ive lost the link). The last recommendation I got was for 'Candide' which though helping marvellously in understanding the person who reccomended it, was a miserable experience for me. There is a current in french philosophy I find terribly dry. I still appreciate the conceptions that folks like Des Cartes have contributed, but the flavor of the implications disturbs me. Oh, I recently read Sartre's "Huis Clos", come to think of it. I wanted to be sure I had the original flavor entirely down before performing it in theater class. My interaction with my partner on that project entirely mirrored the contents, and so we were never able to perform it on stage. 'Art' by yasmin raza, was much the same way. Mirroring the story, I was stuck with someone who considered themself the superior intellect, who couldn't begin to see the complicated interweaving of levels of interpretation and compassion I was trying to illustrate. That one was performed originally in french too by Alan Alda, one of the closest similes to the male side of my personality (him (hawk-eye, manhattan), Nemoy (spock & his real life), and John Astin (gomez)).

I had never read The Little Prince until a few years back when a dear friend had suggested I give it a try,

and I fell in love with it, its such a wonderful book I find. Each time I read it, I get something new out of it.

:)

I only skimmed it a year ago (seen two different movies though). I've had many friends try talking me into it. I think I just didn't want to read something on screen. I have several other books I'm in the middlo of already. The sefer yetzirah, spanda karikas, hitchhikers guide, lotus sutra, dictionary of angels, and my latest continuing net research. I just came up with a new form of reality that will be merging spirit and nano-technology that will exist in 20 years. I'm thinking of putting it in a Dr. Seuss like book to introduce the mindset. It's based on hebrew alphabet recombinant thought in a playdough of spectral energy in which thoughts are indistinguishable from their physical manifestation.

..yeah. Most people are a lot smarter than me.

Jemmy, you are hanging out with an above average intelligence, above average educated group of young adults instead of hanging out at the 'hello kitty' chat room. That speaks for itself. Would you stop saying such nonsense before you start to believe it. All people are capable of brilliant success in all fields of endeavor when they stop believing they can't. Look at the things people do in emergencies; they make brilliant usage of resources and exhibit sensational physical prowess that they otherwise don't tap. Spiritual practices can often bring about these possibilities. The point is that we have them, people just don't believe it. Nerds are self made. Fools are self made. Angry bitter people are self made. So are our heros. You can be a CEO of IBM, Mother Theresa, or Marilynn Monroe if you want, if you believe. The power to believe is the strongest of them all. It can rewrite all the others.

If you want to think less, that's your choice. I'd consider carefully before resigning yourself. If you make more pitiful requests for support in such matters, remember me as :-(. Asking for help is different though. Somehow I suspect it's something you picked up from your mother. I'm making much of little here though.

I hate digital clocks. It's harder to visualize where you stand in relationship to the passing of the entire day. I like my wind up double clapper alarm most. I have a 250 year old Cuckoo Clock which I used to work on when I was 7. My brother restored the wood facia and carved new ivory hands after the puppry got to it. It's now my son's. Some day I want to build a grandfather clock with a an orery of the planets and zodiac.

Cool. I can't read the normal clocks though. I can never tell the difference between the two hands.

No it's not! They both look the same. On every clock. It doesn't matter though, the clock is usually to far away on the wall for me to see.

Get a well designed clock. Bold numbers, fat stubby hour hand, long thin minute hand. I prefer a second hand movement that has individual clicks.

Clocks with hands relate much more to the sundial which clearly showed the passing of the day. I want to make a self flipping hourglass some time too.

A self flipping hourglass? Cool! I guess if the clock was really really bold, and I knew how to read it, but I think that digital clocks are just easier for me.

But I don't think it works like that! My teacher last year always told "If you feel beautiful, you will be beautiful." I don't understand. No matter how much I tell myself to be happy, if I'm not happy, I won't come to believe that. No matter how much I try to convince myself that I am something, I still know the truth, and I think the truth is that I am not that smart, and I just a big fake. Many people tell me that I am smart, beautiful and a wonderful person, but I'm really not, and I feel like I'm decieving everybody, and I can't get out of it. My entire life, I have been trying to make myself do and say what other people expect me to do and say. I hate it. I want to start over. I can start over. Twistermime told me that once. I can start over, but other people don't. They don't see me as I am now, they see me as I was then. I think...right?

Some cults practice separating new members from their friends and family because they are defining the person with expectation and preventing transformation, although the truth is more like they are doing that because you are the one who is unwilling to believe that they can change to accept your transformation.

But I don't think you're ready for something that deep. Instead, I want you to try this experiment. Imagine several different personalities each with a different name and different quality of being. My own consist of Amy, a blond who is very warm and outgoing in emotional matters in a passive fashion (a people person); Jasmine, a sensitive poet with a mystic outlook, and a love for romantic conceptions of nature like brooks and birds who hurts easily; Vivian, a red-head sassy cow-girl with sun-shades a no-nonsense whoop and holler, go get-em attitude riding on impulse and intense focus; Celeste, who lives in the astral plane with a broad detached omni-awareness and a reticence to gab; Chrissy a cry-baby people-pleaser; Joan; Catherine; and Kristal my usual self as a sort of fruit-basket techno-angel-art-slut teacher. Once you have assembled your personalities and imagined out their diverse flavor of being, try them out. As jasmine, I can go into my wardrobe with a daydreamy fondness for purple and lace and such and consider their relationship to romantic scenery. As Vivian, I enter my wardrobe *boom* *boom* *boom*, dress to impress, if it doesn't strike you in two seconds, it's wasting your time and ain't worth another look. Try interacting with the public as these different individuals. When I'm Vivian inside, I get whoops and hollers from the crowd. When I'm Celeste, people I haven't met know my name's Celeste, and call me by ituntil reason kicks in and they have no idea what inspired them to call me that. Once you've pulled off these different personalities, you can start incorporating thdeir attributes into your own life. If you ever start to lack a desired quality, try on your personality that has it most for a few minutes to remind you what the quality is like.

You might try personalities that have sharp awareness, are down-home comfortable in boisterous almost rude fashion, are free from distraction by ideologies, conceptions, and attitudes. They should all be distinct from you as you are now, yet you should start with those that are most like you until you feel confident about changing your world-view in the blink of an eye. With practice, you can work up to changing reality in the blink of an eye (different people have much different rules of reality too), but that will be much much later.

Okay so, I should make up a different personality for each aspect of my personality? Okay...do you want me to list them?

No, that wasn't quite the assignment. Make up personalities you don't have. Ones that have characteristics that you wish you had, and also ones that have characteristics you don't really want, but don't understand either. The former personalities are to enable you to do things you can't do yet. The latter ones are just so you can learn why some people think, feel, or act a certain way. There's no point in you creating a personality that is concerned about being in public without make-up, you already experience that thinking. You should come up with a personality for instance that thinks make-up is stupid.

You don't need to report back to me if you want to try this, but your welcome to if you have questions or just want to say how it's going.

After you list them, maybe write about them, stories, poems, or imaginary diary entries about your interactions with them. Then pick which of them it would be most appealing to be, and try being that person for a short time. For each of these persons, you might try cooking, selecting clothes, or choosing a radio station. If they have different bodies and different attitudes they would dance differently. Don't try to imagine how a frigid nervous person would dance, imagine being a frigid nervous person and just dance and observe what it looks like. Try being all of them acting the part of a tiger in a play. They would all act like a tiger differently.

So, if I really really hate violent people, and don't understand them, I should create a person who is violent?

I wouldn't recommend that particular case, but that was sort of the idea. The goal is to understand different kinds of thinking.. Like a philosophy of laziness or a sense of urgency. But that was an additional lesson. The main thing to try was becoming someone who's virtues you value, but don't find in yourself yet.

So, if I like the characteristic of being really intelligent, I should try that?

That was the foremost exercise, yes.

Variations you might incorporating in your created personalities could include: quick to get the gist, analytical, tactical, diagnosing motive, cynical, able to find fault, full of creative suggestion, possessing an unquenchable desire for knowledge, able to see related events and patterns, metaphorical, quick, intense, thinking in pictures, thinking in poetic sound, ... You'll find all sorts of intelligence in the users at SC, but all of different flavors, some not readily apparent. You for instance, have a knack for manipulating people into assisting you, the helpless maiden. You exaggerate your helplessness, perhaps you are also building the related skill of being coy.

Another way to do the experiment is to think like whoever you are conversing with. Immerse yourself in seeing how the other person perceives things and assembles their thoughts. If you can imagine it, you can do it. If you can understand the feel of what makes a poem good, you can write such poems yourself. If you can understand a persons analysis, you are capable of achieving such analysis yourself. Allow yourself to understand.

I haven't gambled for 20 years when I bet that president Reagan would beat the pattern of dying in office every 20 years. When I was fifteen I got a huge jackpot on my third coin in a Bahamian casino, which I managed to keep. I used to practice blackjack counting strategies at that time too. The man we lived with then (mom's boyfriend) now owns casinos. I haven't gambled for spiritual reasons, though I would love to if I were back in the world of chance.

I've probably told you plenty of times by now about the time I accidentally wished misfortune on my step-dads new car, and the next morning a cement-mixer careened out of control, destroying his car. Fortunately, he wasn't at all injured. I know enough to prevent such things now, and pray vectors when I hear tires screech these days. You're still working on cause and effect vs. pre-cognition, I see. Dis-empower bad dreams.

Responsibility is waiting for you. Dorothy, Never ending story, Labyrinthe.. How often do we need to say it?

- Glenda

Surely you can't be suggesting that my dream somehow caused the accident because I didn't shake off those negative thoughts? I mean, I was thinking about it while I was driving that morning. It was one of those dreams that sticks with you afterwards. I would rather believe that the accident was predestined and I just tapped into that, than to believe the thoughts I were dwelling on somehow shaped what happened ahead of me on the road. But then again, darn, we're always creating...just look around. I believe we don't die...we're immortal and this is all an illusion of our creation, so how sad can I be if it were my fault for not controlling or reversing negative thinking if the dead person...is immortal anyway and on to some other grand adventure either here...or somewhere else in the cosmos....

my head hurts. *LOL*

Yes it will pass, yes it is a form of illusion, yes we will move on; but in the mean time there is good and evil, coming from the same source with equal strength and meaning, but, what would you rather be experiencing in the mean time? I think we steer our realm based on intrigue deficits; In other words, if you are attracted to somehing you don't want to happen, it will still happen. "I must not think bad thoughts" does not work. Let yourself have them, but let them drift by without significance or attachment. "I can", and "cool things are happening" are good mantras. "I can without doubt" will give you uncanny physical and sorceror abilities; "well, maybe" makes for a day at work that won't make the diary.

** On the other hand, dreams have a higher connection. A few months ago I dreamt I refused to assist a meso-american underworld deity regain their throne. I woke up and was immediately greeted by an earthquake. Our ability as humans to write our world is much better at the moment of waking or sleeping. For instance, if I begin to wake and things look a bit dismal, I decide that I will be woken by a swarm of song birds, drift back to sleep, and start the day right a few minutes later. Yogi's practice maintaining this state all day. I've gotten that far, there are higher documented states I have not reached.

Personally M., Were you let down when you discovered how plastic it all is? Trying to redevelop purpose and meaning for your life? It sounds like you integrated realms, unlike I who first started with a couple years of forced choice between realms, people or God. Have you got to the point yet where you are writing every detail by the second. I finally had to compromise, by going back and forth between writing the script, and acting in it, otherwise I was deprived of emotions based on surprise. There is a state though in which I don't have to write, although I suppose I made the choice that everything would go beautiful and all my choices would be made for me so there would be no interuption of my joy as I cook, play volleyball, or teach novice seekers. I replaced stress about concerns in one realm with those of another, but the periods of the latter often involved pure extended joy, whereas my former mundane life did not. What became of you through the change to your joy, stress, and philosophy.

I want to be experiencing joy whether what you call "good or evil" are affecting my path or not. So I have decided to live joyously no matter what. I am high right now on joy. I will probably come down and think more deeply about it all but at this point I am on my honeymoon.

I was not let down...on the contrary, I had the "AH HA!" feeling. "I Get It!"

I can see how it got so plastic. I don't judge it, it's part of the plane.

clockwork oranges

mechanical animals

stepford wives

I can see now....It's all so civilized. How we have gotten away...and made everything so neat and clean...and yet...nature keeps bursting on through.

I am not writing every second, but find it uncanny how much I am writing. It's awesome!

Honeymoon is exactly the term I used back then. By plastic, I meant in the other direction, opposed to concrete, as in "gee, half of everything I thought to be was false, what about the rest of it", or "I'm writing you, so how can I now love and respect you as an individual?".

You do bring up the delightful way mother nature is blatant in our faces, yet people refuse to see. Once you 'get it', if you have a good memory as I did, you look back and wonder how you could have possibly missed it. Abhinavesha is the term for that ignorance. It's funny to watch others with their logo's speaking right back to them in front of their face, yet they are oblivious. If you ever want read about what you now know to be the truth in plain, non-metaphorical, non-symbolic, non-allusive, or non-implicit english, read the 'Spandas Karikas'. I have a 1980 1st edition english translation by Jaideva Singh. Alan Watts knows what's going on and describes it in exoteric english, but he also has volumes to say that might not interest you. Did/do you have 'people', besides me that understand your experience without thinking schizo? There are a few here that I won't name. For me, about 20% of the people I know are awake, coming from my first 3 years with no one but 'life' being able to share my concerns.

My honeymoon was filled with rainbow mists, and everyone turning to smile at me. Hope yours lasts and has increasing joys as well.

'people'...my SO, of course, understands and is supportive and eager.

Even if the rest of the world thinks I'm a loon...I am untroubled.

Thanx for your well wishes.

I kinda thought she was. Your lucky, I lost my wife in the process. Do you undergo challenges to your prior belief system? For instance spirit would tell me to cut class and check in with my boss. It would turn out later that class had been cancelled, and the boss had just gotten money from a client to pay my wages. Does spirit give you excercises like buidng chi, seeking an inner bindu, aligning with tangible energy? In kundalini yoga, we are told to expect siddhi's (special powers) to accompany our awakening. For me it was things like being able to see and feel my daughter's perceptions. We were also instructed to dismiss siddhi's as distractions, and I can see why, it would turn one into an occultist rather than a mysticist, and they would miss out on the more significant learning.

Under goals, you mentioned 'knowing why'. Consider the nature of existence (creator and perciever), consider infininte possibilities including living as galactic nebulae, consider the void, consider how the latest videogames are as fascinating as our prior experience of 'pong', consider hugging a tree vs. knowing everything at once, consider how vast has been your range of sensory experience and attitude as a person. Considering all this, if you were omniscient and omnipotent, what would you choose to do? You blessed tree hugger.

That walk in the forest was strange when I found that my daughter was camping less than a mile from where we took the walk. She was with her father(his weekend to have her). We had no idea. I had been thinking of going out there and my SO said just the split second I decided it..."let's go out towards Deception Pass" just as I was turning the car to go that way. My daughter came home and said she had spent the weekend in the woods just about a mile from where we were hiking.

I felt her...in the woods.

and no, the words deception pass were not lost on me either , cheeky. ;-)

I'd decided last night to wait months for a discourse on the 'Mirror of self-delusion'.

My shin is constanly scarred from crashing into things. I don't think I am emotionally scarred, it would depend on how broad your definition is. About a year ago I had a BB removed from my temple that had been there for 20 years. A few years ago I went through a major tissue regeneration that greatly diminished 33 years of accumulated scarring.

Weird. You always meet people with injuries from those sports, but you're the first person that I have heard say they have baseball injuries...

I tore the ligaments in my left knee which swelled like a balloon. Track season was over and had converted to generic PE. I was late, we were playing baseball. My prior experience was in the sixth grade where I played a remote left field and was notorious for accidentally throwing the bat at the third baseman who generally had to catch or dodge the bat. Coach was on second and put me on first. The ball bounced and was caught by coach before the 1st base runner made it to second. I presumed that was the end of the play. I was paralyzed when I realized the coach was then throwing the ball at me. I snapped out of it in time to avoid being hit by the ball, but the batter plowed into me and I spent the remainder of my freshman year on crutches.

I know that there is this survey about him/it that was in qualification for quite a while, other than that, just what I read in the explanation. I don't watch television. I used to watch televangelists back in the late seventies and early eighties before the Baker/Swaggart stuff. After that it was just too transparent, it was more fun when you just SUSPECTED that they were all slime balls.

I once lived in the same building as Reverend Ike. I lived in a two-story penthouse over the beach. He had converted three penthouses into one unit, anh had several rolls-royces in third level down garage. The monks in my yoga ashram drove jaguars. I think it was a ploy to attract followers, because the monks were indeed spiritually gifted. Guru Mayi has attracted far more followers in her designer outfits than her guru Swami Muktananda did at Greyhound bus stations.

Back in high school I was a member of a fantasy game club (D&D, pythonite types). Like cheer leaders we would disperse amongst the halls, and chant in unison:

Kool-aid {clap clap}

Cyanide {clap clap}

Jonestown {clap clap}

Massacre {clap clap}

Guyana Guyana

DEATH DEATH DEATH

* I think the toll was something like 916 sucides and killings.

I still have a Paris Match (that was one graphic magazine) on the story. It also had a great story on 'Les Punks'.

I'm not making any point what so ever here so far.

* I grew up in an Edgar Cayce Group and use the tarot for guidance counselling, even talking to the spirit of Christ, so I suspect that I may agree with some of what he does teach, though I haven't time for the research. I disagree with almost all enmity, so a gun carrying racist is not someone I am in a hurry to investigate. Some evil people have often been the guardians of advanced knowledge, but that doesn't make the teachers or their philosophies good. To play the devil's advocate here, anyone who has teachings based primarily on the bible, especially the new testament, and considers Christ to have been the foremost representative of God's word, has little choice but to call themself a teacher of Christianity. Sure it's not what you mean when you use the term, but it is the mans only option. Regrettably, I can already imagine the man's case against the jews, based on the premise that the laws were superceded by abidance in the word, or some other nonsense argument. Personally I don't care for any biblical scholarism, for the same reason that you do not care for Murray, that the word's God's chosen people were ever applied to a subset of culture. I am not a biblical scholar and will not be able to debate with you on such terms. I thank you for "we are all one, through Jesus Christ!", though the name may change, the oneness remains the same. I kindly remind you that publicly denouncing false doctrines is no different in quality than what Murray believes he is doing. At least you aren't shouting or carrying a gun. Everyone calling each other Satan is exactly what satan is about. Seeing God in everything is what God is all about. God contains, controls, and is all. All will eventually return to God as it always has been. It wouldn't show much faith in the creator to imagine that even satan wasn't part of the plan. ALL IS GOD. "For ours is the kingdom and the glory of heaven forever, amen." (probably the most useful thing I learned in kindergarten, building wooden boats was cool too though.)

* and just because I can't resist picking on syntax, Yes, I agree, anyone who makes failed predictions is false prophet.

You and I have much in common Kristal! You might like to read this website: "New Age" I use to follow the same path that you are on now. At the end of the road, I hope to meet you.....

You also, may be interested in these sites: A Sadhu visions of the Sadhu

More Noah theme. some excellent writing. I have had much of Sadhu Singhs experience myself, particularly seeing heaven on earth, being bathed in rivers of crystal spirit, etc. These examples though speak of those who did not have their awakening till they sought the salvation of christ. It is my belief that Christianity, I-consciousness, and pantheistic experience of divine consciousness are all reconcilable. There were some astute observations in there, the flavor of christian energy is a different bandwidth. As I see it, hinduism can explain christianity, christianity can not explain hinduism, and yet with some contemplation, christian thinking should remain the goal from either perspective. I-consciousness explains the creation of worlds, but the only world worth living in is one in which you have a selfless love of others and the divine force that holds it all together whethar you wish to be the most humble participant or one with the script writer. Another of us here has awakened recently, and though that person probably feels like they've graduated, I expect they will learn as I and the Sadhu did, that they are only in the first grade at that point. I don't want to bring up what may be in store for them, because they are experiencing positive divinity for the time being. Thank you for the sites. I would like to know more about you. You seem to feel in relation to I, as I do to them.

** I might add that at the juncture in which sadhu Singh found his guru guru to be demonic, though he found a viable path (christianity), it can also be argued that he failed a test of his own former faith not unexpectable at that juncture. Had he been truly immersed in I consciousness, he would have realised that he had the power, being one with the writer of all worlds, to opt for another rewrite of his world in which his guru's did not become demons. In a sense, I suppose he did do that. His guru was guru for him at one point, and demon for him at another, according to the needs of his script. I have personally had the devil tear my world apart a few times. But with a blink of an eye I can stop it. If you are one with god, or have full faith in him as your shepard, you are immune to satan, unless you delude yourself otherwise. For me it takes the form of particle energy science in the hands of demonically inspired conspirators. The demons serve only to create challenge, change, fascination, and mostly tests of faith. No one has gotten hurt through my experiences, but the capacity certainly existed to be an agent to the invitation of destruction.

It's my life's main pursuit. I try to learn about every spiritual force, religion, culture, and mindset; and experience them first hand through ceremonial participation, dialogue & research, or telempathy.

How can you say that you have "experienced" a religion unless you actually believe it to be the truth? Take Christianity, for example - how can you experience it in the same way that Christians experience it without becoming one of them? You can take part in ceremonies, but that still only makes you an observer of the religion itself.

Who said I don't believe it? That would be like not believing in particular emotions. When I visit different temples and partake in different pratices there is a different vibe. Amongst buddhists I feel a gold bell like magnetism generally free from emotion, I can tell the household of a practitioner of Gurumayi's siddha yoga before I enter because of the sweet pink cloud sensation, christians often have a white cloud full of mutual compassion, when I meditate on kali through the Sri Yantra my head fills with flames, when I worship the Virgin Mary I join the tear's of penitent acceptance of grace. My foundation is the Spandas Karikas which is the only doctrine of creation not heavily masked in symbolism as is the kaballah or holy trinity which ultimately indicate the same metaphysics. It's structure supports all other structures of spiritual and material manifestation. All religions are paths, many quite different though almost always indicating the same ultimate destination. I believe in them all. dispassion is the path, compassion is the path, seek heaven on earth, seek spirit in spirit, see god in each other, pray to god, ancestral spirit exists, pantheistic deities exist, only the moment is real, there is only one god. In my eyes it is all the same system and same ultimate explanation. When I'm walking down the beach one night and peer into a native american store front where I meditate on a white buffalo head on the wall while their music chants yahh hheyy vahh heeyy, I am filled with the great white spirit, and see that I am chanting not just in native american but I am chanting Yahwey (old testament name of God), I am chanting Yod He Vav He (Jehovah), the tetragrammaton kabballistic symbol of creation. Filled with this spirit I walk alone on the pier with the sensation that I am walking on water, the pier is illuminated like a glowing white cross and it terminates in a black cosmos full of stars. I would call the experience a product of my faith in both Christianity and a native american faith.

I can experience through telempathy as well. I don't feel separate from god, but I've psychically downloaded the worldview of one of my girlfriends and for the first time experienced the contrast of being separated from god, and saw how that would influence her trust of people and things, and affect her communication patterns and the way she toys with people.

When I take part in a ceremony I am a participant, not an observor.

When I first found a meditation on the Sri Yantra on the net a year ago, I had no idea that ceremony would induce me to wake up in flames; It wasn't until I met a Kali Ma group at a booth at a pagan festival a couple weeks ago that I learned that Kali who I was also meditating upon at that former time was related to the Yantra, and that a head full of fire was the intended affect of meditating on the yantra according to that group. The point made is that no pre-conception or knowledge of a belief system is even required to have the traditional experience associated with participating in a ceremony. My most recent practice has been SGI nichiren buddhism, in which you chant from a chinese book at a rapid pace. I kept all my spiritual channels open trying to identify the energy flow particular to them. Midway through my second session I found it. There was a hive mind of ancestral experience, which I plugged into and let recite the chant for me at which moment the person in the seat next to me helping me congratulated me and commented "welcome home, you were going to try doing this by reading it yourself, weren't you?". After relating my experiences at the first meeting and how they corresponded to the study material before me, I was asked to interpret the main chapters of their liturgy and lecture on them at the next meeting in terms of metaphysics and mystical personal experience.

* In case you haven't noticed by now, I often feign ignorance of what other people are saying. I see the point you were trying to make, and answered instead with a whole other realm of experience, almost necessarily, because while it is possible to be merely be an observor in ceremonies, you are making some presumptions, such as the ceremony only has value in the context of a belief system, and while that attribute certainly exists (eg. some practices only allow worship as an outlet for expressing joy, song, and dance) to place stock entirely in that notion would quite miss the point. Religious experiences are meant to be experienced through spiritual faculties.

If you believe that "All religions are paths, many quite different though almost always indicating the same ultimate destination" then you do not believe what Christians, Jews or Moslems (to name but three) believe. Some religions are mutually incompatible - it's unrealistic to say that you "believe them all". You may believe something that is a synthesis of many different religions, but that's a different thing altogether. Participating in ceremonies does not make you a participant in the religion. I can visit a mosque, church or synagogue and take part in whatever is going on there, but the reality of any religion is beyond that which can be found in ceremonies. Ceremonies are simply the external, human expression of an underlying faith. Have you kept the Ramadan fast and felt the inner conviction that this has improved your standing with Allah and increased your chances of going to paradise when you die? Have you taken part in the passover meal and known that God will bless you for it because you are truly a Jew? Have you committed your life to Jesus in the knowledge that salvation is found in no-one else? If you can answer "yes" to any one of these, you cannot answer "yes" to any of the others, and if you cannot answer "yes" to one of them then you have not participated in that religion. You may have participated in the ceremonies of many religions, you may have an intellectual understanding of many religions, but the only religion you can ever truly experience is your own. And your own is not that of all other people.

You didn't have to flesh out your example, I said I understood what you were getting at. I saw from the start that you were leading up to how a ceremony can only be appreciated by the psychological context of being immersed in the explicit belief system. From where I stand that is rather superficial though obviously not nearly as much simply being an observor. I have spiritual experiences, not religious experiences. I talk to Jesus immediately after doing buddhist chanting. My concern is for metaphysics, the rules of manifestation of reality, and at that level the different faiths begin to reconverge. I don't celebrate chanukah or yom yipper in the sorts of contexts you describe. I study the kaballah which describes levels of consciousness, creation, and merging with god. It is the tool of the ko-ha-ni, the priests of judaism, and yet the jewish faith teaches nothing of this to the masses. This is the same in most faiths, particularly western faiths. My own belief is more of an umbrella than a synthesis. I believe in primary colors and lines, the mainstream faiths have mixed colors and painted their favorite paintings. I can walk into a ceremony and appreciate that they are painting with blue, black, and white.

Ceremonies are not merely the external expression of a faith. I expect about 20% of worshippers are operating on a spiritual level, 60% are probably there based on faith and context, and the other 20% don't have a clue why they're there (hope, circumstances, exploration, gambling). Psychic channels are wide open during worship. That mean's someone like me can step in and feel the essence, color, energy, worldview, and heritage through the eons of that faith. Your arguements are based on religion as psycho-social conditioning. You are not addressing the mystical component of ceremonies, without which religion would merely be social psychology, politics, and unfounded belief systems. I must imagine for many people, their faith is manifested in daily miracles and laws of cause and effect as dictated by their particular choice of belief system, otherwise they are mind-boggling patient, trusting, naive, or discontent with their worldly life. When I partake in a faith, my life experience changes gears: the philosophies on TV shows change, I randomly run into priests of that faith that week when doing errands, etc.

Intellect is a great way to catalogue and communicate your spiritual experiences, but it is not at all what the experiences are made of. If you read what I wrote without your color of rose glasses on, you would have caught how I turn off my conception of expectations entering into a new ceremony and rely upon spiritual senses until I have the flavor down and can amplify the broadcast from behind the scenes. I doubt you understand that, and feel sorry for you that are operating merely on faith, if not merely psycho-dynamics and contextual analysis.

I visited an empty mosque under construction. From that experience I gathered that their worldview included life being a geometric lattice of energy with an emphasis on celestial spheres, an emphaasis on surrender leading to a one way transmigration of the soul into the heavens via romantic conceptions like the moon as a way station, that there was a connection between the mosque and a morgue, that there was a connection between the moon, the scimitar, and death. That the words are integral to the architecture also expresses their sentiments on reality being spoken into manifestation. The colors were deep blue, white, gold and silver which have meaning too. The experience could be summarised as a one way ticket to the moon, participation in a ceremony would tell me much more. The stuff in their books, which you would deem the foundation, would be the least consequential aspect of the understanding for me. There are sects of christianity using the same books and ceremonies, some saying make earth heavenly, others saying abandon ship. C.S. Lewis describes the tenets of Christianity far better than the Book itself does. I mainlined a lot of Alan Watts. He is a presbyterian minister who teaches buddhism, and is to date the greatest reflection of my own cosmology I am aware of.

I petition you to speak now in terms of your own beliefs and experiences. Hypothetical debates lack substance. It seems to me you are still looking for a key into actual experience, or seek hypothetical support of your current worldview. The door doesn't usually open until you take a leap of faith away from reason, after which your experiences can be incorporated by reason to assemble a new understanding (which will also be shattered). Eventually you can get addicted to having your worldview shattered.

Sorry, I don't think you do understand what I am getting at. It has nothing to do with ceremonies - that was merely the external example. The point I'm making is that different religions make different claims about what is absolute truth, and that these claims are incompatible. It is simply impossible to believe the "truth" taught by Christianity as well as the "truth" taught by Islam. You can, of course, claim that all of these claims are wrong, and that no religion has the absolute truth. But that immediately places you outside all of them. To suggest that you have a "higher" view than the various different religions is irrelevant - it is no more than the religions claim for themselves.

I don't need hypothetical support for my worldview; why should I when I have the experience behind it?

You were making more than one point, I addressed the part I found most critical (observor vs. context (vs spiritual sensory faculties))and dismissed addressing the point you bring up again now which is tied in as an illustration of the context aspect but can be debated as a separate point as well:

I dismiss what I consider the dogma and subsidiary beliefs of faiths. Most of the stuff at that lower level I take as metaphorical. I dismiss the entire faith of judaism, yet revere the kaballah which is the tool of jewish priests. The kaballah teaches that one can aspire to godhood though it is unheard of, yet the religious faith teaches the duality of creator and creation of which people are a part. I dismiss as irrelevant things like "you shall worship christ and no other deity", since all deities are faces of the one god in my belief, it does not negate me being a christian to worship the hindu pantheon. They mean the same thing to me at the highest level. I don't extract much literal meaning from any religion. I live in a mystical realm in which different religions are different flavors, paths, and aspects of the same truth. Taking much of any of them too literally is not for mysticists.

You do not debate within the mystical reality, and I do not try to debate about literal interpretations. In other words we don't speak a common language, and do not employ the same senses and faculties. It is much like a race without noses trying to discuss sounds to a race without ears, and vice versa. The concerns and distinctions you make in your realm are mess I'd rather not deal with. I was hoping to explain things in terms of my realm of consciousness rather than yours.

I don't know what you experience. You haven't illustrated it at all.

If one were to take religions merely at the literal level of their mainstream aspect, then of course they are incompatible, and of course ones joys, fears, expectations, self-praise/condemnation, and assignment of meaning and significance arising from their participation in ceremonies would be contingent upon their immersion and faith in, and adherence to their particular belief system. I never questioned that; I was hoping to expand your paradigm by which religious ceremonies and their underlying faiths may be discerned. The desired expansion of the paradigm was twofold: to consider religions not by literal ideology but by mystical interpretation, and to perceive as an observor or participant the qualities of a ceremony, and flavor of a faiths worldview (not to be confused with it's explicit historical/ideological significance of ceremonies or concept of cosmological structure) through extra-sensory perceptions including ancestral spirit, telempathy, and astral vision). If it were not for mystical consciousness and extra-sensory perceptions, I would have little interest what-so-ever in studying faiths and religions, though the belief systems pertaining to the structure of cosmology would remain an intellectual curiousity to me.

I simplify faiths. I am a monist, but I still gain much of value in my studies and participation in the dualist western religions; I can still praise God and pray for humanity though I believe self, humanity, and God to be one. Many religions have different levels of literal exoteric teachings. For judaism there is the kaballah, for hinduism pantheism, there is the monism of the spanda-karikas and shiva-sastras. The kaballah, spanda-karikas, lotus-sutra, and holy-trinity all diagrahm pretty much the same structure of creation. Christianity doesn't have much to say on the subject literally, but I have found that there are christian mystics who have developed their own terminology for mystical pursuits such as 'gazing at the cross', or 'wearing their armor'. Again, I think that the criteria by which you and I discern religions is for the most part unrelated, and consequently it would be ludicrous for us to continue bantering. You may find, however, the comment's I am about to make here to North79 more on the level you were hoping for.

Your experience is, I hope spiritual, and not merely religious. In which case, in the context of your original argument implies to me that either you do not expect casual observors to grasp your faith, or that in spite of or due to your spiritual experiences, you find yourself at odds with other faiths. One would hope that there was a personal sentiment behind your putting up a hypothetical subject for debate.

I have to voice my disagreement with your claim that hypothetical debate lacks substance. On the contrary, if all we ever had to go on was our own experience, we would be missing out on the experiences of everyone else! And you know what they say, learn from other people's mistakes because you can't make them all yourself.

* Secondly, thats akin to saying that unless you or someone else has experienced something, it doesn't exist/is not possible etc. It is thinking "inside the box" so to speak.

* Having reason, logic or at least an emotional argument behind a hypothesis gives it substance.

By substance, I mean something 'tangible' within the realm of spirit. It is all very well to believe that it is possible to leap off a cliff and have God save you, and another thing altogether to actually leap off a cliff and have God save you. Likewise it is one thing to believe that in theory you are creating everything that happens to you, and another to witness that all circumstances you consciously wish for, occur shortly thereafter. Experience for me is a continuum of psychic input. For me, verbal communication is a terribly inadequate media. I think of it more as an aside to what my intuition tells me about a person. It is most usuful for describing the news or teaching a mechanical skill, not as means of communicating experience, sensation, or wisdom. To use a metaphor, all the talk in the world about a painting is not as adequate as experiencing the painting through your own eyes. I still don't mean to say that a verbalization of ones experience is useless, to use the same metaphor, if you are talking to a blind person, than talking is going to convey a whole lot more than showing them the painting. Likewise, if you you are talking to a relative in Madagascar, use the phone and speak. For me, the experience says much more than description. My friend and I spent two years together in which we almost always had impromptu occult, mystical, metaphysical, supernatural happenings. We never discussed a single aspect of it during or afterwards. The inter communication and the experience were all the same. We might utter 'wow' together while witnessing a flare of energy or something, but an outside observer with an AV recorder would document that for the most part of two years we merely moved objects, lit things, read poems, scribbled nonsense, and had a lot of inexplicable emotional behavior.

** I wouldn't say not possible; It is my firm belief that in a blink of an eye from now, all reality could merge to become a pair of trillion mile long intergalactic glow worms, or people might start trading bodies with each other, or interspersing cartoon imagery with physical matter. But, I do believe that if it has never been perceived, then it has never existed. We might have 3 billion year old geological specimens now which contain DNA & proteins, but 40 years ago we did not. I believe we are writing the past as we go along as well as the future. Infinite possibilities of dimension, physics, granularity, permutation, plane, consciousness, sense, feeling, interrelation, explanation, sequence, spectrum all exist within the box. Language is a means of distributing a seed into being.

** Reason, logic, or an emotional argument behind a hypothesis are useful if reason, logic, or an emotional argument is the substance itself you wish to deliver. To argue in terms of a cause and effect arguement is to impart not only the arguement but the argument as explained by a particular notion of cause and effect all together which form a complete entity of thought. The same arguement by means of another virtue would be a different entity.

Thank you, I enjoyed this much.

"..if it could be grasped by an observor.. meaningless" That's absurd. I would think you'd be delighted; what else would inspire proselytyzation and baptisms through history. Of course they would no longer be an outsider. Perhaps that's what you mean. It's an exclusive, 'your in or your out' club. Christ has five levels of meaning for me. There was the man, the teacher; The spirit of that man, a frequency of spiritual energy usually associated with christian believers, Christ as a name for tho logo's, and Christ as a term loosely applied to mean God in it's manifest form. I accept the existence of all of these. I believe Christ to have been a fully enlightened man in full communion with god, capable of walking on water. I am not certain of the immaculate conception, it's possible, but no more relevant than if he were conceived normally or materialized from a cloud. After 12 years of study and worship including attempts to facsimilate the experience to a lesser degree, I still can not pretend to understand the crucifixion. My prayers to Christ for salvation from demons have filled me with a warmth by which I could live joyously naked in a storm. I have seen his crucified form manifest in patterns in nature. I have photographed an apparition of Mary. I consult the spirit of the man through my tarot cards to seek his wisdom. I am in constant rapport with the logos. In spite of all this, you would probably not call me a christian because I believe that many other teachers on earth have been in complete union with god, and that such should be the goal of all mankind. There are aspects of his teachings and personality as a man I did not care for. The portrayal of him the gospel according to St. Thomas was rather harsh. As a teacher, he was a vehicle of God, in the context of his time. Christianity as a practice is one of the most dedicated faiths to serving mankind. I feel that is important. Other faiths in practice are more self-centered. I liken christianity and buddhism to classes in sociology and physics. Both have their place. I'm certain that you would find amongst those who have solely dedicated their faith to christianity, that you would find people with more and less christian spiritual experiences, and you would find people with more and less literal interpretations of the faith. By this reasoning, I would position myself as being more christian than some who have chosen a definition and value upon primacy. I could imagine performing weddings or baptisms with strict traditional vows and delivering my silent prayers and blessings within a particular understanding, though I would prefer to steer them towards vows with a more new-age conception.

Two things:

I said "grasped in it's fullness by an outsider", not just "grasped by an outsider". Of course you have to grasp some of it in order to want to experience it, but you can't understand it completely until you do. It's like sex - you can know enough about it to want to do it, but until you actually have sex with someone you don't really know what it's like.

You have explained your own position very well, but you should be aware that if you choose to describe yourself as "more christian than some who have chosen a definition and value upon primacy" that you are using a different definition to that used by the overwhelming majority of Christians, and also different to that in which the term originated. Personally, I think this is meaningless. I could just as easily describe myself as "more American than those who have chosen a definition based on nationality", but this wouldn't make me American in any useful (to other people) sense. If you redefine words to suit your own preferences then you are reducing the value of language.

I do feel free to consider myself more Irish or German than those living there. I don't but if I significantly increased my study of Gaelic, folklore, problems in Belfast and such I might. Which of the many examples I provided do you define to be Christ as the overwhelming majority of Christians believe to be of primacy. If it is the logos, then I am a Christian, if it is the literal ancient teachings of a man who was the son of God, then I am not. As God coaches me daily in the living word in the context of my personal life, I would consider it a grievous mistake to live instead by a text written generically for a culture 2000 years ago. If the advice had been heeded back then, things would have been much better now. Though not of any spiritual significance, that one about usary "thou shalt not charge interest" would have been an absolutely tremendous boon to society. By such a law, it would not destroy economic equality to attempt earning as much as possible through ones own craft, wares, and services. But when you can charge more for another mans work, that breaks down that fairness. Still, I try to abide by such ethics, but know that in modern society I have to work with a situation worsened by the advice not having been heeded. God works with me through my gender change, and I know the old literal text isn't big on that. There are other old texts and traditions in which transgendered people are actually revered in a religious context. God guides me and the rules of conduct change. Lately I have been told to attend buddhist practices and preach my understanding in those groups, and put my research on pure occult faiths on hold, perhaps indefinitely. I don't place stock in any teaching what so ever. Keep learning and use your heart to make decisions is the only advice I can offer without reservation. That all thought, spirit, and manifestation is ultimately the product of one god is the only knowledge I can be certain of. By that reasoning much else can be explained. I love to share my personal experiences and personal understanding of them.

Do you speak with the logos? Until one reaches a high level of attainment, it tends to speak on a metaphoric level, to place one in a realm of mysticism. When one lives there long enough, the value of language is indeed enirely reduced, one abides then not in the word, but entirely within the holy spirit. Perhaps you could do me the honor of elucidating on the christian understanding of this experience of mine through the vehicle of literal christian terminology.

By the way, do you have comparative study or experience of other faiths? Could you explain or refute the principles of the Spanda Karikas in terms of christian theology? Would it be of any value to make a concordance between the tree-of-life map of consciousness which places primitive consciousness in Malkuth, goes through paths and outposts of consciousness such as the heavenly state of Tiphareth, on up to Keter, the ultimate godhead source of consciousness and creation which the kabballists contend can not be perceived through consciousness to the teachings of christianity. You might liken it to teaching on french poetry in english, but my calling includes being able to translate common denominators in cosmology across different maps, be they the lotus sutra or the bible. I have one most significant question for you (in the scope of our present dialogue). In spite of your personal dedication to the primacy of christ, however you may define that, do you believe your ultimate standing in the kingdom would necessarily be better than a devout seeker in another faith that has not been exposed to Christianity or for that matter, a person stranded for life from infancy on a desert island?

If there is something people are meant to to read of Kristal's ...they will read it. They can't help it. Really. Otherwise disregard what isn't meant for your eyes. Or..filter her comments, but be warned, you might miss something fabulous when you throw out the baby with the bath water. I've come full circle...I used to filter her "diatribes"...I realize now it was because I was not ready to glean the goodies and do the work to learn something about myself

In that case maybe she should work on brevity so that more people will be meant to read them.

I didn't think I would need to point that out. More wild yet is when you can stop for a diatribe in the middle of strict work production and people will just walk around the two of you oblivious to the conversation or the fact that you are not working. It's a subset of what Don Juan would call stopping the world.

I'm thinking of a pretty dragonfly near my heart.

I'm really not sure what to get. I want something small and sexy, placed somewhere intimate.

Puckered lips, mating weasals, a mermaid, japanese anime erotica, a pink octopus, a lude minnie-mouse or betty-boop, a lashy winking eye reflecting something, a heart with pubes, 'love' in the cursive design found on US postage envelopes, a postage stamp, a zipper, a dotted trail with the words 'start here', a hazard sign ie 'slippery', a depiction of the burning of Joan of Arc, a belly up tigeress. I have no idea what you privately consider sexy, but many of those would work for me, esp. the cartoons & animals.

Oobleck & King's stilts

Fox in socks

Green eggs & ham

Sneeches

Yertle the Turtle (The pant's with nobody inside 'em!)

The Horton books

I didn't care for the Cat in the hat, but I read them again because they came in French and Spanish, which I could cross reference to the English version when I was 7.

One of my favorite books is 'The secret art of Dr. Seuss'. In my opinion Theodore Geisel's work stands equal to Chagall, De Chirico, Redon, Toorop, and other renowned artist's of the metaphysical, symbolist, and organic-surrealist schools, as well as the neo-impressionists, fauves, blue-rider, & expressionists, and most certainly the Dadaists. You should see his sculptural works of cartoon -like trophy-head animals.

My mom has a book about Queen Godiva taken from his college years in which he explores sexual fetishism.

Always on a case by case basis hybrid of the golden rule and it's improved form 'as they would have done unto them in their interest'.

{eventually I figured out people don't want the same things I want}

Have you heard of the Platinum Rule? It goes something like "Do unto others as they would have done unto them" I have thought of that before and I totally agree. Here's a good example: Some people hate having their books moved, and some people hate being disturbed while they are studying. If someone's books were in your way and they were studying, what would you do? Your solution wouldn't be based on your preference. It would be based on theirs.

We're saying the same thing. I lived your specific example yesterday. I enjoy nothing more than yakking; it took me years to realise that people were sincere when they requested silence during times of discomfort.

I added 'in their interest', because some people have crazy notions like 'I am not worthy, punish me'. I have noticed that people tend to get back that karma they expect, but I don't have to be a party to it. I remember when I was living with a sagent artist who was also a con-man and killer. I was having invincible good fortune at the time, practically performing miracles on demand, but their karma negated all my assistance anyhow. If the trailer got a flat, I would instantly find a replacement tire, and a means of replacing it. None-the-less, the other tire would go flat immediately afterwards. It was constantly like that when I stayed with them. Blessed and vexed, and neither being able to affect the other.

Evil is the obstruction of joy. It takes forms like encouraging distrust, destruction, and limitation. Control of others philosophy of self-empowerment is the worst ie. pushing addictions or claiming people are worthless or have no shot at enlightenment on earth are some of the worst.

I've seen a 13 year old singer who just got signed that week aggressively singing "You losers, pump me" at a party I went too. I talked her afterwards and she had developed a split personality; she was an innocent stuffed animal kind of girl who was unaware of how she performs on stage. I had one evening in which almost no matter what I typed into my search engine revealed more and more severe war technology involving genocide, and the transformation of mankind into a gold based life forms capable of withstanding matter-reprogramming nuclear blast waves. I've seen angelic people immersed in visible red-energy hatred relationships. Evil takes many forms. If it intereferes with love of self, society, god, and all creation, it's evil.

It's probably bad intent. Oblivious type rudeness isn't evil, but intentional rudeness is. Breaking something on purpose is evil. Breaking something on accident and neglecting to apologize isn't.

So murder, rape, and pillage is not evil if done by religious zealot's in religious battle on soulless heathen's? Presuming they believe these people to be in league with satan and are cleansing for the sake of virtue.

A secret organization protecting the planets eco-sustainability by selective population reduction..Evil?

Developing viruses without asking who your clients are or what purposes your R&D will serve.. Evil?

Suggesting that a new theory, nuclear fission, might be used to stop Hitler, but might melt down the planet (uncertain till tested).. Evil?

Using that technology on a warring archipelago after Hitler was no longer a threat to prove to the world your might as a nation.. Evil?

Accepting the philosophy that ethics and morals are hinderances to practical and realistic success in todays society.. Evil?

Creating jobs or teaching detachment from material things by breaking things or designing disposable goods.. Good?

Making someone seriously contemplate their stance by being strategically rude.. Good?

Breaking something on accident is neither good nor bad (though I don't believe in accidents), but failing to apologize demonstrates a lack of compassion, which certainly isn't good, and in my eye's is the root of the proliferation of evil.

I imagine the average criminal can justify their behavior as being righteous given their circumstances, or they probably would have sought alternative means.

Are psychopathic criminals evil? If feelings don't exist or reality is a delusion, then no behavior is really bad.

The seed of evil in the hearts of men is a subtle and contagious thing. It is obfuscated by justification, dispassion, takes the form of revenge, not caring, being led into despair ones self, or becoming angry or bitter. Everything short of living each moment and interaction with out being, feeling, or expressing the depth of your love could be considered a shade of evil.

* Reverance for the manifestation of creation before our eyes. Manifesting wih love. No time for regrets or anger at anything.

It is possible.

OK, so maybe some of your examples were evil. I have a habit of making too broad of statements. I'd have to disagree on two of your statements though. Failing to apologize is not evil. Depending on the circumstances, I might even say that refusing to apologize isn't even evil. It might not demonstrate anything but being in a hurry or believing you have nothing to fell sorry about. Your other point, making someone seriously contemplate their stance by being strategically rude, I'm not sure what you mean by that. If it means dropping nonverbal hints to change someone's mind or behavior, I'm all in favor of that. It makes people think of things you didn't have to tell them. It does someone a favor. I don't think you need to be rude about it, but a lot of people think it is rude (in itself) and I'm not really sure why.

I'm just saying 'could be', I don't think being rude as a cynical jest to reflect to someone their own behavior is the route to go. they've probably had plenty of that karma already and mistook it as fuel for the fire, not a lesson. You shouldn't feel sorry when you apologize (or ever, for that matter), forgive yourself and don't do it again. The apology is to convey your compassion, sympathy, and empathy to the victim. It's traditional to be the main one to that if you were the cause. If you ran over your neighbor's cat, your apology helps prevent them from feeling that the world is a miserable uncaring place, and clarifies that you did not intentionally run over their cat. To accidentally cause such harm without ever apologizing would make this world much grimmer. Following a philosophy that makes this world a darker, less caring place is evil.

I follow a philosophy that makes life more realistic and efficient. It's not darker or less caring, it's simpler. I'd prefer that apologies were always implied. If you know something is an accident, that should be enough to shrug it off and move on.

You sound like me a few years ago. My thank's were generally implied as well. I felt that my appreciation of a gift would be apparent in my interaction with and exaltation of it. I felt that apologies and thanks that were not heartfelt were superficial and worse than no recognition at all. What I later learned was that the incidents and gifts were incidental props. That the true opportunity was to add value to each other's lives through words of appreciation for each other, even if you might incidentally add that you actually hate orange sweaters. Ten years from now, the orange sweater from your aunt won't matter, that you were able to look her in the eyes and smile together will.

I don't. There is no evil...no good...just human...

I don't believe you.

Are you telling me you have no preference for the quality of your experience? Have you perhaps reached a state of surrender, knowing you are taken care of? Is it all for the good now? or amusement or karmic returns?

Pain and misery are still possibilities. For anyone short of full realisation, there exists the possibility of having 'another' deprive them of anything including their liberty or soul. Ultimately this will come to pass, but when you bring in the word human, you're still hinting at time/space dynamics.

I would like to know in great depth what you mean by no good or evil. Perhaps we share a common philosophy. I am guilty of releasing all sorts of terrors, then conquering them. The latter makes it creation, if it were just the former, I'd have to call it evil. You're awake now, will I regret it when you come into power, supposing you do?

The answer to everything you just asked me is in you. Listen. Remember.

Good and evil are mere illusions that bind us to what we believe is real.

Simply be. Do not judge anything. Do not say anything is good or anything is bad, because if you say you are good then that also means you are bad because bad is the balance of good and equates to you having duality. The god within you is not a duality. It is the perfect alignment of itself.

Ramtha said this.....and I am trying to acheive this. I am happier than I've ever been. I walked in the forest yesterday and listened to nature. I listened to myself. I embraced a tree and felt its power from its roots below the ground straight up and out the top shooting towards the sky. A beautiful vibration. I realized how far removed I have become from what its natural. From what is real.

To me the truth is, my truth is....There is no God.

I am god. In here. Inside me. Inside you. No flowing beards and rules and laws. Just light and love.

I had to walk through the shadows to get here. I had to hate and I had to despair. And I did. These last couple of years were black for me. I embraced it. I needed it. I felt helpless and I hurt and I needed to express that. I Hated. Hate made me feel powerful and untouchable but it was killing me. It was a reflection of the hate I had for myself. I mirrored it outward towards most humans. I saw them as stupid and worthless. I was cruel if not in actions then in thoughts. I had to go there to reach here. I have come full circle. I love myself. I am naked, real, awake and unfearful. I need no walls now, no masks, no shadows to hide in. I am joy.

I have found my perfect lover..............life

Was the land of the shadows your first phase of awakening, or what you awoke from? For me it was my second phase of awakening, and I still make visits there. Love for myself or anything made my world bloom. I never really tasted hatred like you have, and what I did have was mostly low self-esteem. I get irritable to the point of seething and snapping when I am not in harmony with my inner guide (such as advice is not forthcoming, or worse, misleading). I had to take up drinking to get my brother to find work, there are other times I have had to compromise taking on things I found distasteful to inspire a reciprocal positive change elsewhere. You are right, the more good I am, the more evil becomes my shadow, in my ego state. In my non-ego state, the world is a reflection of my own condition, hence compassion and joy are still my preference. I equate joy with good. Are you saying that you find joy in play and suffering alike, or that you merely stop judging and are left only with the reflection of your own joy? Have you attempted relishing manifesting destruction yet?

<i>{I act like I don't know what you are about, in spite of the fact that I feel what you are about, and am just trying to put my finger on something tangible in words, ya know what I mean?}</i> You say non-judgement, see neither good nor evil, yet you seem to exhibit a preference for self-love over self-hatred. I see that in terms of your duality argument, yet self-love is no less a duality of perception and creation than is the flavor self-hatred. I think your philosophy could be phrased "Do as thou wilt", a slogan scientology borrowed from Crowley. My ministerial slogan, should I choose to inherit it, is "Do only that which is right", which is wildly up for interpretation, potentially running the gamut from heaven on earth to total-genocide & nano-propogation of distant stars.

What if I had a storm obliterate your house? I don't do that kind of thing, and in my current state I'm sure it would reciprocally come back to me. But IF I did, would you pass judgement on that? Am I reminding you of what you experienced years ago? You've reached a state of god-hood. Consider now polytheism in which the capacity exists to infringe upon others. For one, that brings us right back to mundane physics as a viable platform for equality.

I dreamed you awake, you are dreaming me challenging you to define your world view.

My girlfriend / soulmate was awake while fearing evil and practicing "do as you wilt". I wouldn't have thought it possible. I had made false presumptions of the prerequisite philosophies and attitudes required for awakening. You seem to be halfway between her world view and mine. I am 'all is for the good, you create your own enemy as an impetus for creation', you seem to be 'there is no good or evil, nor enemy, follow your bliss', she was 'pray for good, fight fire with fire'.

I think the means of determining where you stand, is to ask what would be the explanation of an enemy and what could it achieve?

I dare to think that when you hear a car shout 'focus', that you have left behind a disconnected observer reality in which someone simply wanted you to move, and that that shout came from your unified reality to you (still a duality, but quite useful) and also expressed a higher more personal meaning of 'focus'. I doubt you have yet lived in the realm in which that other person is another individual entity, but has chosen as part of the collective to say something to you at that higher level. I don't know if you are juggling world views of '1st person', 'narrative', etc. When you write to me, am I a script you had in the back of your head earlier, am I you as you think now on the fly, am I a tete-a-tete with god or your higher self, or am I the person Kristal, and if so do you believe me to be independently consciously in tune with your internal script, out of the blue, or in tune only because of laws of synchronicity?

Me and them -> Me and it -> I -> We (I)

Which is it Gurl? Love K

If that's what you want to do, you really ought to move to LA. I frequently run into writers, actors, and producers here without trying to do so.

Ideally, I'd like to have an agent first, before quitting my job and moving to LA, but I know I'll have to be there to get any writing job or freelance assignment. I have a potential agent now; if that works out, I'm out there.

I wouldn't be so sure of that. I don't know if you'll have to join the guild. probably. In spite of all the time I spent with programming headhunters I ended up getting my jobs directly through the paper or more commonly, through word of mouth. More jobs are found by personal connections than any other method, and I would think screen writing would be much more so. I spent two hours doing an informal interview to design HollywoodArtists.com' web site over ICQ. My last programming job was done entirely over e-mail attachments from hiring to completion, even though I only lived a few blocks away and spent months on the project. The casting website interview was the result of an afternoon at school when my financing was cancelled; I decided at that moment it was a sign for me to return to work, and two minutes later intercepted someone posting their first flyer for the position. Get yourself on chat sites that a producer might hang out at, if there is such a thing. I'll ask a producer I met in my buddhist group if he has any ideas on that (or knows some writing positions). Last weex I met a writer for the Simpsons while serving jury duty. (coincidentally meanwhile I'm trying to become an artist for the Simpson's comic book). He said they write in a team and the content comes from up top. It's the most evil legal profession I know of. Nearly every sentence is loaded with product allusions or public service messages. Even on NPR or PRI they employ such tactics as asking the viewer a question like "Euthanasia?", then answering it a few minutes later with abstract childhood memories poetry. [the industry term is 'imparting a positive message'] Are you sure you want to be a part of this?

I'm not sure, I've had all sorts of misgivings, but ultimately the choice is try it, or give up without trying it; if I have the chance, I feel I have to try it. Career was the only area I checked in the survey; this is the only thing I've found in many years that's more than just a hobby, that I feel motivated to really strive for.

If you're willing to forego making the prestige shortcuts, you could aim for writing employee training videos, or working in the promotions department of someplace like the United Way which in turn feeds campaign contributions to about 7000 member organizations (at least in the San Francisco office). You would get an opportunity to work in many media in a casual environment, and the pay ranges from 55-100k for permanent staff positions. I'm actually stumped on this one, there aren't any mainstream media I can recall that don't have a hidden agenda behind nearly every word and image. I realise it's exciting. I have animation, writing, and stage experience myself, and have gone as far as interviewing for people who do the fancy network logo's and such, but ethics do come into play; it's much like my work as a software programmer where each assignment would be designed to pull about 1200 peoplo off the employment roster. Most people don't even seem to realise it when they are involved in such things, and if they do, write it off as being the american way. My first job as a programmer was realised when I surrendered my lofty goals, and allowed an agency to put me in a temporary position as a data entry person. They needed someone capable of setting up a cascading hierarchial database table structure, though if you could understand it, it was still essentially data entry, within three weeks I was placed amongst the programmers to do PC database taps of the mainframe and acted as a liason between three V.P's and the permanent programming staff regarding ad-hoc report generation. (this was at the united way). My point is you don't have to head directly to Fox or the WB to necessarily find a self-fulfilling place for your skills. One day I asked God how I could be of service with my art skills; that afternoon, I met someone who put me on the planning commission (as well as an artist/participant) for a 1/4 mile wide mural depiction of a 280 mile section of california coast slated for oil drilling. The project went together with blessed synchronicity. There's more to a rewarding job than challenging your mind and making money. You should also do some self-assement of your goals: do like creating ideas, hammering them out, sharing them with colleagues, co-creating & synergizing the work of colleagues, being an impetus, or having your work published? If the latter is true, might I suggest that you are in fact attempting to live vicariously through the narcissistic extension of your mind through the media, in which case, it's time to start checking some other boxes on this survey.

I've been there before. It's the most wonderful experience in the world. Or at least it was at that time when my heart was overflowing, and everyone else around was having a good time. Currently it's not too fun because I'm a bit neutral, and my neighbors have miserable lives. Sometimes a thought enters my head and it takes me a moment for me to realize it's not my own. The connections are only one way now except when I choose to broadcast which I usually only do to calm babies or suggest pictures to people who aren't getting what I'm saying. The time it was two way was heaven for me. I think it's probably a good test of whether a person's ready for heaven or not, when they have no fears, and a love for everything, oh, and no ego which demands being distinct. I haven't met other people outside of that experience who are willing to trade in their ego for love and connection with all.

coo coo, coo coo!!

geez, that wouldn't be any fun.... it's nice now when just a few of us are like that....

I wish I had your confidence in people's ability to make the best out of a situation. I tend to be kind of cynical.

I'm not saying they make the best decisions, just that they try to according to what they think the best rules for their own behavior should be. In a fully psychic environment, you get to realize that. Everyone is connected internally, there is no question of an alternative, so the goal becomes the good of the whole, everyone is forgiven because everyone is trying. The experience can't really be compared to how people behave or think when their minds are not joined.

I always had a sense of that until my spiritual birth until my spiritual birth at age 25, then I was joyously overwhelmed with a new found connection to everything, then I found I had to surrender my attachment to and belief in the world of individuals, then eventually I was able to return to that world with new knowledge about it all. Any sense of alienation at this point is my own delusion running the show. I have the power to interact in joy with other's but for reason's I don't know, choose not to use it often.

That's interesting about you sensing some kind of change within yourself at 25. I felt as if my world was ending. I felt like I was losing my mind. A lot of people I talk to say they experienced some kind of personal change around 25. I think biologically that's the time humans begin to age. Everything up to then was physical growth, and after then starts the spiritual growth.

'Sensing' is an understatement. The meaning of the details, my senses, and the structure of big picture reality were all totally replaced.

Yes, it was very much like my world ending over the span of three weeks. I had just gotten in to Siddha Yoga and had a kundalini transformation right away. And I was going crazy. I was writhing on the floor at work, and my co-worker who got me into it just said "I've been trained to throw a blanket over people like you". When 50% of what I had thought to be true, I expected the rest of it to go too. I didn't trust concrete to be solid. Later I found people who had had my kind of consciousness all their life, and even one woman raised in an Indian ashram who was just trying to learn individual consciousness. I learned 3 years later after adjusting that a group "the spiritual emergence network" specialized in rescuing people who had kundalini awakenings outside of a support group and had been consequently diagnosed schizophrenic. Their existence was helpful in proving my case to my mom who had doubts that I was undergoing a spiritual transformation because most of my experience was miserable (kriyas and a burning of karma).

Have you had the experience of conversing like this right in front of people you know, and it's as if you stepped out of time?; If they're not ready, they don't even hear.

I have been talking to someone, and it's as though my body keeps talking some crap to them while my mind moves up another level and begins to critique the whole situation. It's usually at that point I realise I don't want to talk to this person any more. Perhaps that's just boredom. I'm not entirely familiar with much of the terminology you use but your mention of schizophrenia made me realise that although I had an extensive network of friends who were under 25 when I was, none of them struck me as being anything but mentally strong and "normal" (whatever that is). Today, many of my friendships have changed due to geography, and everyone I associate with is over 25. I can say that every one of them has some kind of weirdness. The difference is marked. Perhaps I am more critical of people since my own "metamorphosis" at 25.

Perhaps we are just digging deeper, but I had the same environment change regardless of geography or social attire. If I hadn't met a couple of people with high spiritual development still successful in business, I could easily conclude that one has to sacrifice worldly power and wisdom for spiritual power and wisdom.

As to your experience: I call it 'out of mind' after the term out 'of body'. I once conversed with a minister and our conversation went up levels of metphor, connection, and significance (we became the logos) and yet my consciousness drifted above my mind (physically) such that our deep conversation was a mechanization to observe. My best computer programming was done 'out of mind' while in a state of worship with my rock & roll radio. I'm finding that chanting Nichirens liturgy (Nam myo ho ren ge kyo etc. etc.) is best done going 'out of mind' or more specifically living in field awareness. It provides a platform in which you can speak psychically with the others while the body taps into ancestral spirit.

Do you object to this expanded weirdness. In former times they would have enshrined us or burned us at the stake. Now providence has us run into each other around the globe to compare notes. People being told that what they experience does not exist is bound to develop some eccentricities. Society has evolved so specifically that it's hard for a 'right brain'er to fit in, let alone someone who's jumped into an adjacent spectrum.

Weirdness or whatever different beliefs or characteristics people have are cool with me. I draw the line when people use the words mustn't, or must at me. I believe in individual freedom and detest the current PC dogma that is being forced on western society. People should be able to do whatever they want, as long as they don't expect others to do the same or to pay for what they are doing financially, physically or in any other way.

I like the 'out of mind' type of experience because it's as though I step back and survey the situation with a clearer mind. I tried to go out of body once, got a fright and felt as though I literally fell back into my body. Later I read about a guy who worked for the US government, going out of body to spy on Iraq. He said in his book that when you're out of body, dark forces try to scare the %?@ out of you. %?@

that! I'll never try THAT again.

I'll vouch for all you said in the second paragraph. My experiences also included the sensation of being electrifyed when doing it. Didn't entirely stop me but did scare me substantially. I tend to drift peacefully out of body when doing devotional chanting.

I felt really cold and I could hardly breathe as I was pulled up and out....sort of like the feeling as you are going into a full blown panic attack and cannot breathe air in...shallow....tingly....heart racing....and then silence air rushing...dark....and I was out over the sound flying....looking down at the black night water and I was cold. I have tried since, and get as far as the shortness of breath and I stop myself. I didn't see anything scary.

Very much like the night of my awakening 12 years ago. I was in a black tunnel and wailing spirits were rushing past me. My body was parylyzed as a golden aura feeling crept up my spine and was approaching the crown of my head (my doctor called it sleep paralysis). Monks at the ashram told me I went to the buddhist void before I could ask my question. The next day was my out of body chanting, by three weeks, the world became my guru, by three years the world was a manifestation of my thoughts, by 12 years I attempt every thing you've ever read in scriptures or sci-fi/fantasy novels while continuing to operate as an individual. I'm not sure that's that what you're describing, but I did pray you would have the experience some unmemorable time back. My guru was a shakti-pat guru, renowned for launching kundalini awakenings just from meditating on her photo. If this is your experience, you've given me increased purpose, and I thank you tremendously.

I never had the internal tunnel experience again, now they're something you can see in the room that look like the wormhole in the TV show 'sliders'.

Something has happened to me. I thank you if part of your energy helped me. Now everything has a deeper meaning. Cars ahead of me shout to me to "Focus" and billboards tell me things while songs on the radio echo in reply. It is amazing. I am full of love and other people seem different, affected by the change in my energy. I am sleeping so much better.

I am no longer afraid. Worry has been replaced with calm understanding and acceptance. I don't have to be cold to be strong. I don't have to be dark to have power. I am free.

Everyone of those were part of my goal here months ago for many, but I was particularly working on and wishing for you. Everyone of those is something I hoped to pass on to you. There is so much more to learn, but you have the syllabus now. Eventually you'll be creating a heaven in your wake. Right now it sound's like your still solely in training and self-inquiry (which I imagine goes on forever). The challenges can become far more intense, your physical reality isn't changing yet (though I'm sure you have a much different conception of cause and effect now), remember always that you are one with the eternal source of creation, you are more powerful than satan or kali which might cross your path occasionally. If you refer back to my 'what level do you hear on' survey, it will probably make much more sense to you now, and give you some fresh idea's on side roads and directions to take now that you're in with the logo's. I remember when you recognized that there could be a personal meaning in every word, while someone else argued that such things would lack congruity and direction, were merely random unconnected cues and a personal interpretation was self-delusion. I'm glad you've found otherwise. I was at that time willing myself to be the radio and billboards to a dozen or so SC users simultaneously and attempting to interpret every personal channel of interpretation simultaneously. It was a tall order, and not one I feel up to repeating any time soon. But you alone have made it worth my efforts.

The logos can cripple and destroy too if you ever let fear or hatred into it. Keep your blessing. Right now you are working on being awake; when you get a great deal of it, you might choose to go back to sleep as a means of experiencing creation, if you do that you may be used to higher levels of reality physics, but forget your role in it, and succumb to an 'other'.

Explore.

:-) :-) :-) :-)

By the way, back when I got Freya to relay advice on forgiving your father, whatever became of that? Did he die or get better? Did you ever establish a communication compromise. You know, I had to lie to you push the plan, like when I said three times something about how despicable he was. I was going on weak intuition there, but knew you felt that way, and had to meet you where your were. I tell you these things in case you ever take on the task of transforming people.

The best gift you can ever give yourself is to stop making lists. TO DO lists are the worst. They sap energy and leave us feeling bad when we cannot cross everything off. ..and we never do...cross it all off...because we keep adding things. I the supreme list maker of all time have stopped. I feel so free.

Oh no you aren't. When I was 20, my TO DO list was 60 pages of hardbound book with table of contents and rainbow coding. Now my TO DO list occupies several worksheets in several Excel workbooks and is put together entirely with hyperlinks to sections, sub-sections, etc. Whatever makes it to the top of a priority list automatically feeds a sub-summary list, and the winners of that fill my master list. In addition I have sorting tools, one which rates possibilities by a dozen categories then lets you assign a weight to all your value criteria after which the TO DO items are automatically sorted. I still keep paper TO DO lists, and when a lot of them are done or outdated, the list goes in the TO DO List archive which has been growing for a couple decades.

I did discover recently that if I do without my lists, it really doesn't matter, because I don't even have enough time to do the first thing on my list. Unfortunately I can justify dozens of things being a top priority, and change my home business career path every day. I spend as much time getting projects in & out as working on them.

I once did an art piece with a collage of maps and geometry and a painted chair floating above (on sailors needles) and bindles of TO DO lists floating over the map.

I am the Queen of TO DO Lists.

* Most of those are inventions, I just saw an ad a moment ago for one I came up with more than a decade ago. Caddillac just released a grahics enhanced windshield, that ads thermographs of people and animals to your view (BTW, helicopters have been able to see through your roof for a couple decades now). My system would replace your entire driving vision with just colored highlights of the things you have to know about like the center lines, swaying cars (that would just be color outlines until then), and traffic lights or creatures. With so few criteria, behind all that would be black and white video or television. I can't even say I like my ideas actually being used, but since they inevitably happen, it'd kind of be nice to make some money on some of them.

I'd actually prefer we wen't back to an agrarian society. I don't think one bit of this technology has actually improved our planet. The Greeks were ok, the Romans went to far by building aqueducts. Land should support the people living right there. Our population should not exceed that which can get by with renewable resources.

I hope you provide links. Sounds interesting. I just wrote to one of the Chief Scientists at NIMH yesterday on the correlation between emotional memory, visual thinking, & manic-depression And between floating memory, sequencing, & ADD.

K_R - Was he having any trouble with the lab rats? :-)

Nihon: (don't know if you'll see this) Did I post their technology? They're offering human-mouse hybrid tissues, and cloned human olfactory sensors and even specific cloned human dendryte receptors. Stem cells. One more reason promiscuity and abortion are sanctioned on ghetto billboards.

I was near the center of an VIII an hour after I renounced God & my spirtual path back in `89. Half of the Main street mall in Santa Cruz went down, and it looked like the asphalt buckled two feet where I was standing. Guru Mayi had given us 2 weeks fore-warning in the Oakland ashram. The Far side calendar that day depicted people in telephone booths floating topsy-turvy with the caption "Out of order". I volunteered to move egg hens from fallen conveyor aisles. My house was on stilts in a river canyon; I still slept in my loft, but my brother slept next to the open door since we still had strong aftershocks for the next four days. Also one of our walls separated, and the place was already condemned while the owner secretly made improvements.

I met a deity a year ago that brings earthquakes. A few days later I caused a beneficial quake in my employer's study. It knocked a decade of stacked articles burying his conference sized table, and gave me an excuse to organize it. Star-wars technology causes earthquakes. In LA, the news always has unrelated stories about sightings of clouds of green light when there is a quake.

In my early cooking days I discovered fruit salad can mix with chocolate pudding; fruit salad can mix with lychee nuts and yam threads; but fruit salad can not mix with chocolate pudding AND lychee nuts and yam threads. My family will never let me down for that one. The way they say it, the dog wouldn't even eat it. I actually found it tolerable, and endured my creation over the next week.

I love chocolate pudding stuff! I had some with strawberries, gummy bears and M&M's. It was delicious. I also regularly eat chocolate pudding a strawberry yogurt mixed together. It's good.

I failed to mention that chocolato fruit pudding also had gummy-worms in it. For breakfast I have corn flakes topped with dried fruits and a flavored yogurt.

I failed to mention that chocolato fruit pudding also had gummy-worms in it. For breakfast I have corn flakes topped with dried fruits and a flavored yogurt.

Sounds good to me, except that I hate beakfast. I have strange food tastes. Do you know anyone who eats like you do?

Dairy (yogurt & cheeses, eggs, bleu-cheese toast fried in butter), nuts and dried fruits (halvah on tea bicuits, though I hate peanut butter sandwiches). Kind of a long journey from the garden of eden diet. I like hot mexican, thai, & japanese; and everything sweet with island spices. For instance I put clove, anise, & honey in my pizza sauce; or I cook spinach in cranberries & OJ. People are nearly amazed at my cooking and really like it now that I know what I'm trying to achieve. My favorite meals are Montë Christo sandwiches, hot pineapple curry thai chicken, and fruity jalapeno nachos supreme with cream cheese. I keep no hours, sequences, or schedules. The weathar and subject matter of my meditations have a great influence on what I eat when. Eating can become a sort of magic in which you are attracted to orange or green, dried or fresh (ancient knowledge or purification), depending on what your body is trying to achieve.

But no. I've never met anyone with my palette.

So what do you consider strange?

* BTW Re: Your marriage prospects.. In both my marriage and later relationship, nothing was planned. I had never even planned a smidgeon to get married until the night 6 months later that it popped into our heads simultaneously. A couple years later, we woke up one morning with the feeling that we weren't in love. We 'decided' to be in love and that worked. Look for someone who wants to commit to changing together. That has to be more important than liking each other for who you are when you met, otherwise you will grow apart or fear changing and build resentments. So think to yourself, would I stick with this guy even if he becomes a krishna, ad exec, or senator, and would he support me likewise. If you think you will need plenty of people in your life, have an arrangement in which your SO always knows that they are your #1 and whatever enriches you, enriches the two of you. The overseen aspect of life marriages, or even the arranged marriages preceding that, is that they push people to learn to 'love' even after they are no longer 'in love'. You're much to sweet to resign yourself to screwed up misery. We get what we open-heartedly feel we deserve (but not what we selfishly feel we deserve). People get the misguided notion that they deserve less.

I spent a couple years in college doing improvisatory theater dance. It was my temple time and many supernatural things happenend in that class. I did much punk dancing and celtic folk dancing as a teen. (I was a celt in the Renassance Faire). I've done Native American rain dances (conjured a fantastic day of lightning here in LA). I also like incorporating a bit of swing, jitterbug, jive as well as Flamenco. I don't know any formal partner dancing, but I'd like to learn. I also want to learn belly dancing.

The birth of my daughter at home.

My spiritual awakening via Guru Mayi Chidvilasananda.

My visit to heaven on earth and the full opening of my heart chakra.

Most definitely. I also suspect they may be more advanced than us. They have more senses; they have both vision and sonar. There voices are sophisticated enough that the possibility exists that they can mimic the sonar they hear. In which case they could communicate their sights as well as we communicate what we hear. If they could further alter their sonar utterances, they could also communicate sculptures to each other. My ex-girlfriend swam with them at the beach. I wrote a screenplay preceding Max Headroom & Wierd Science in which an AI program that can program people by neuro-linguistic programming (psychological use of body language)(in her case by changing her holographic projection from anything from a earth goddess with flowers growing from her to a medusa) in her role as presidential advisor p_ssy-whips him into perversion and addiction. Eventually she chooses to drop out after getting spiritual revelations and has the body of a dolphin made for her. It ends with the president's (Hugh Guerrish, best friend & business manager of Jean Paisley Hall, Cian's creator) yacht exploding. She swims to shore and brings Jean the yellow submarine lunchbox used as a buried treasure chest the day Jeans long lost sister disappeared to reveal where she went.

So there you have it: Cloned, Artificially intelligent, Spiritually Enlightened, Dolphin being created because a guy who missed his sister.

What do you think? Worth a movie or at least a comic-art book?

Dolphins could even be the offspring of Atlantis as answer to war and environmental destruction. Nothing to do but play, philosophise, and communicate sculptures.

Everything has a soul. And then that soul is reincarnated to be something else.

In my next life if there is such a distinct transformation being an aurora would be interesting, or maybe a dolphin.

Look for everything you want to see in this life, here. There are several planes of existence and they all intermingle to your hearts content. At one end of the spectrum there is nothing but god, at the other end is infinite detached diversity. You get to choose what connects to what and how deeply. If you want all your friends to psychic, you'll get it. You reach new realms by going there first. Your guides will follow you.

The traditional model of reincarnation is an available option on the spectrum, but better to treat reincarnation as a metaphor for a series of awakenings into higher states of consciousness.

I equate "soul" with "life", therefore, if the dolphin is alive, yes, it has a soul. (and so does that mold growing behind my refrigerator)

For about ten minutes, A decade ago I downloaded the experience of a Japanese sage in which I saw living particle emanations from everything. It was all alive. Now that conception forms a comforable media for integrating spirit and matter. It's fun to experiment with consciousness travelling through what we would call matter.

In 1972 they discovered volcanic rocks with DNA and proteins. They are the third form of life on earth next to open & closed cell biology. Look up Arachea. They are used in human DNA testing, the manufacture of high fructose, and jpl is trying to propogate planets with it. Supposedly prokaryotic living rock specimens are as old as 3.8 billion years old. If you ask me, were inventing history as we go along to keep ourselves busy. Modern super-computing hardware research is based on hybridizing crystals, genetic structures, and emf spectral energy. In other words, the same stuff they knew millennia ago. Ancient kabballistic texts describe mind-matter proliferation devices that resemble nano-genetic-crystallography.

There's no such thing as a next life, Jemmy.

I dreamed I was dead last night. It was not fun, I was still incarnate. There was a scene much like a 'got milk?' commercial (you probably haven't seen those) in which I had a cookie, followed by chocolate syrup. I desperately needed some milk because I had such a severe case of cotton-mouth I could hardly taste or swallow. I walked the street unnoticed like a member of the untouchable caste. Two days earlier I simply dreamed I passed out and dropped to the ground. For the rest of the dream I was merely conscious of being unconscious.

Most dreams in my history have been about an afterlife. When I was 14 there was the one in which I read an antique book in which music was illustrated over two pages. The notes were arranged like a spiralling fractalling tidal wave. The notes themselves shifted towards 1/64 notes, 1/128 notes. They had increasing complex forms of flags & pie cut shadings of notes, etc. The representations were of pitch, volume, mood, texture, etc. After a page & a half the monumentally increasing complexity was abruptly cut off. There was a paragraph afterwards explaining that this was like our own life; the pattern is set, and yet it eventually exceeds the capacity of both the existing senses to hear it and the existing instruments capacity to produce it. At this point, it said, a quantum leap in human evolution occurs. Other pages in the book had things like a lithograph under vellum of 15th century monks performing lobotomies at a 4-poster bedside to explore the relationship between mind and soul, and a table of contents in which the leaders to the page numbers on close inspection turned out to be angelic script. I kept a diary back then written in my own language, which recent research of mine shows to be similar to angelic script and the arabic family of languages.

Animals respond much better to requests made psychically than out loud. My second psychic experiments (the first were with dice at age 8) were with dogs at age 14. I would watch the sidewalk below from behind closed windows several stories up, obscured even by all the wind & noise at the beach. Whenever a dog passed, I would think at it. It would freeze in its tracks, look all around, then finally look way up at me, and continue on it's way. I presume this can be done with dolphins; I haven't had a chance yet. I psychically ask for wild animals like crows to pose for my camera to get shots that would otherwise require some tricky action photography and wasted film. But then I can also choose which side of a coin falls up, and I wouldn't argue that coins have souls. My cousin talks to eagles and lets rattlers cross over his bare feet.

Do you have a dog? Possibly you've noticed that dogs will act shameful if you're mad at them before you even open the door to let them in and see the expression on your face.

A metaphor? What do you mean? All I think, is that everything has lots of past lifes as other living things, and has many future lives as other living creatures. I also think that a little bit of what you were before is reflected in you. Perhaps if you are an exellent swimmer, you used to be a fish.

A meataphor in that you can have many live during your single 80 year stint here. BTW reincarnation more oftenly refers to becoming another human, and the term transmigration is used for moving from one species to another. With a native perspective, you can see different animal spirits in people. I had one girlfriend who was a hawk. I've met a black cobras who swayed in recoil while her eyes scanned in synch.

Here is a poem I wrote about her:

Hawk in socks (pink)

"They must be cooking drugs or something paranoid;

they'll never make detective". "Don't you think?" (Hook ; Hook)

Trick is, you'll never zenith her labyrinthe standards.

God forbid, that siren's

'daisy-puppy' .. is real, or we would hurt,

like a little girl.

{Sweet double-speak?} "You're freaking me."

"I burn matches… 'Wolf, wolf,' I entreat,

but they just nod in vertical light, I attempt to snare."

She offers enticements, voiding those expected;

would she dis-illusion, knowing, she was written

'Queen of the Underworld', whom say's

'No'?

but she won, petrifying the thought 'lift her'.

Narcissus burns eyes over all Rio Grande,

soaring silver linings, of the highest chasm,

Styx;

..She animates the dead,

missing to argue, with beating hearts.

There was an invitation, to her garden somewhere,

she calls meaningless.

what more can really be done? are they going to put breathalizers in the cars so they won't start unless you have a clean level?

They were seriously considering that 2 decades ago. and I've heard it is an available option, used by some to keep their driving privelages..

KR: that would lead to an interesting prank... set up a trap that dumps a beer on the driver's seat when they open the door, and they can't leave until it airs out.

Ooo... if they put them in police cars you could use it to simplify your getaway after a robbery.

If they can't see a beer rigged to the top of their car, they still shouldn't be driving. And cops don't drive with the windows open. If I were making a premeditated escape I would have a pinpoint laser to puncture a tire, halon to stop the pursuant's combustion, or a uhf transmitter to detonate their air-bag. I have to be careful talking like this. Once I told our stores asst. mgr. how to program the registers for embezzling (similarly joking) and found out years later that he got caught having done it over a three year period.

When I was a teen guy, I used to wear black polish, trench coat, and purple lense shades inverted. It was more a punk thing though, goth's weren't around yet. I love goths, but don't look dead enough to pull off the look. It would be false advertising. I finally got myself a black velour edwardian dress though.

It probably doesn't seem quite so far fetched to people who wear tin foil on their heads to stop the CIA from beaming satanic messages from Betelgeuse.

Been there, done that. *LOL* *LOL**LOL*

:-) *LOL*

I consider your subtle awareness to be amongst the highest here, so I have to ask, do you have insider information on one's reality taking this turn?

- It's my opinion that ancient earth civilizations used Mars as a battery to power their vimanas & such, hence their is no Van Allen radiation belt left around it.

It's called the 'Dead' planet. Moving there would be Frankensteinish. Other planets and moons have much more going for them, colonization wise. But we did that survey already.

...uh...no.

...uh...indeed no...

Then it's obviously more complex than I had imagined. Please explain.

...uh...first, define what you mean by: "one's reality taking this turn?"

Our joys and fears manifest. Paranoia, combined with an eye for the sublime, a knowledge of physics, and a capacity for making loose affiliations, in conjunction with the ability to manifest circumstances around you can lead to your universe telling you wild stories. Monday you let yourself become paranoid that Tesla technology is built into home entertainment systems, Tuesday you meditate on the deity Garuda and study Chaldean war technology and arc-of-the-covenant like stuff, Wedensday you meet someone who worked on Star-Wars, Thursday you see a missle blasted into ether by an aurora over the ocean of Santa Monica,CA,US and your friends all verify seeing the same thing that night.

That's what I mean by "one's reality taking this turn." Mine has been like that for 12 years now, fortunately heaven amuses me as often as hell.

Although I think I have a better idea what you are driving towards, I don't think I'm completely inside the vehicle. I'm not sure that I want to be. I'll just hang on to the door frame, and if you start going too fast I'll do a drop and roll.

Beautiful.

I have to slam on the brakes sometimes myself.

There's been very little I've been able to undo. When I dream up some horrendous technology that has me at he age of my seat, a few months later it still exists, is still being developed further, and I just accept it the way I accept drug advertising or domestic violence.

I pretty much did. My mom divorced when I was three and had many marriages, so my only relatives were on my mothers side.

My neighbors are more matriarchal because the two daughters and the few grandchildren live under grandmothers authority. The greeks were matriarchal by lineage, but patriarchal by culture and politics. Is that what you meant. Or did you mean Amazonia with an entire gynocentric culture? Most modern cultures bear the stamp of roman patriarchy, inheritance of the family name.

Is this question about who should dominate society and cultural decisions, or who you should live with and inherit from? In some cultures the father only visits his wife, and otherwise resides with his mothers family where he would provide for his sisters children. The extended family of Eurepean descent is a hybrid of patriarchy and the nuclear family. The parents raised their kids together, but sons inherited the ranch and the daughters were married off.

By some odd quirk (you should expect these of me by now), our families ranch is run by my great-aunt on my mothers mothers side. Being Irish and Scottish there really isn't much explanation culturally as to why that happened. Oh, yes there is.. All the women from my mother to her aunts (whom she called sisters) up to my great-great-grandmother moved within pretty much the same time to escape the famine.

Those babies were made like that for a reason. If you're a good parent, they rarely cry.

Then I've never seen a good parent. How many parents with babies/kids do you see with a smile on their face? Many parents at work never stop complaining about kids not sleeping, or kids with chicken pox etc. I told one of my co-workers that I never want to hear her talk about her kids again. She has since stopped talking to me. I assume the silly %?@ has got nothing else to talk about.

My wife and I were delighted to be parents. The only time I recall my daughter crying was when she was 5 and I had to remove a piece of glass from her foot. I used the same trick as mom used on me; I had her chomp down on a TV guide while roaring like a tiger. Oh, she also cried when she was two and my brothers rat bit her palm. I also recall the worst night was when when my son was about two and we had hangovers and he cried for 20 minutes straight in the back of the car going home. He was also fretful of loud noises for a couple years since we were out in a ghost town and supersonic military jets buzzed us within a 100' or so by total surprise. My 5 year old daughter used to regularly walk a block to the beach barefoot on a sidewalk covered with broken glass. She just looked up in the clouds and only that once got a piece in her. My children have been an immense blessing. I did have gripes that when I was watching the toddlers there was not a moment for myself. They did cry for milk during nursing. I was a sound sleeper, and my wife dealt with that.

- My neighbors kids constantly cry. They are shouted out; the grade school ones are called wimps. They are hardly allowed to play with each other, the mom's don't ever use motherese or baby-talk, or give any signs of affection that I've ever seen. In contrast we read books on parenting and did our utmost to stimulate every facet of their being: composing lullabies, having them guess what letter we wrote on their backs, etc. My daughter is now 13 and highly gifted in all the arts: her first time on a piano or doing computer animation were almost of commercial value. Her writing style (she writes a couple dozen pages a week) is on the par popular fiction writers (Anne McCaffrey gave her a hand-written blessing at birth) even though her content would only appeal to the pokeman age group. My son plays video games and reads Stephen King, but he has a humble wisdom that I see will gain much respect when he grows older.

* Disciplinary. food prep - Was blamed for theft of case of champagne (I didn't turn in the real culprits)

* left for better - fast-food

* Forced redundancy? mechanic - auto garage went out of business after my ten years of employment (I suspect we were all incompetent by industry production standards (speed), but damn we did good work)

* Incompetence (speed), quit - fast-food (this was wierd; they constantly accused me of poor speed when I was running at break-neck speed, so I quit, and they tried to talk me out of it)

* Incompetence (speed), quit - shipping/receiving hydraulic pump rebuilding

* Fixed term, not renewed (seasonal programmer for united way, few year round positions)

* Incompetence (speed) - negotiated out of contract, & contract rewarded to someone else. - programming

* Incompetence (speed), Surprise, you have 20 minutes to leave. - programming

* Incompetence (speed) - finished programming contract for about $3.50 hr.

* Incompetence (speed) - my decision to leave - personal secretary (constant details missed, occasional zoning (involuntary samadhi state))

* Quit - Back Injury - census clerk

* Incompetence (speed) - attempted trial at drawing the simpsons comic book

I have an immediate memory for only one thought. The average person has seven. I can't even retain a thought while listening to someone. To work, I have to draw a map of my thoughts and refer to it every minute. Consequently, I can't sequence either. When I get home, I think "unlock door, open door" since "open door" was my last thought, that's what I try when I reach it, then I have to dig for my keys. In spite of this, I can get 160 on an IQ test.

That was a bad year in the valley, middle-management was being reorganized out everywhere.

I'm surprised they didn't ask to hire you after that.

* Say drdt, have you ever seen a likely position for a programmer who's pioneered some tricky stuff, see's far and wide, is frequently asked to solve their co-workers toughest problems, and because they are usually in a scatterbrained fog, have the production of a slug? and willing to work for considerably less? Emphasis on GUI, DB/code architecture, & tool design. And working with an office team, not on contract at home? Everyone I've ever seen has too much deadline to make it worth a compromise.

Confuzzled? I have to spend a lot of time on how I look, because that is what people see the most. I think that being "attractive" (if you want to use that word) is a flaw to me because that is the only good people see. If I don't look good, then I don't have anything going for me. It is a flaw because it is my only good thing about me.

Sounds to me like you could really use a month without attention to your appearance at all. If you have high self-esteem about your non-apparent traits and haven't earned bad karma from discriminating against others by appearance, you'll find dropping your appearance has little bearing on your life at all.

Ever thought about giving it up for a bit, ceasing to primp and preen for a while, just to see other people's reactions, to see how they would treat you?

Aaahhhhh!!!!! No! I'd kill myself before I even stepped outside my bedroom without wearing any make up! I suppose I can only blame myself for this, but the make up is like a security blanket. Or a mask, hiding the real me from the world. I need it.

Only because that's what you believe.

You're right, I do believe that. Or did. I'm not sure anymore. I don't think I'll ever give up make up alltogether, but a little less could work. Drop the beauty queen image I've been told I have at times.

My last girlfriend dressed like a mid-eastern gypsy hobo. But she taught at a fashion college, and put advanced consideration into her garb that scared the average yuppie far worse than any goth could pull off. It said "I know quite well things you wouldn't dare try to know".

There are also those who attempt arrogant statements through exquisite selection of casual clothes. I am much more impressed by someone who knows the subtler aspects of throwing together complementary mixes of color, texture, and pattern in raggy clothes, than someone who merely buys a new clean label with known safe coordinates. I run the whole spectrum from slouch to catwalk. I started with jewel tones, but have shifted towards a desert pallette (medium saturation colors with light earthtones (hazel center)). I've taken to 40's polka-dot full office/sun dresses with hints of Scottish seamstressy. I have a nice wardrobe that costs me about $150 year to build at thrift stores. Sometimes you can find things like an $80 Edwardian Velour dress with the retail tag still on it for $7.

- Sometimes to much attention to appearance will prevent sincere, open hearted, honest people from wanting to talk to you, though the ones thoroughly on that track wiil attempt to see deeper into people hiding behind appearance as well.

I have my limits as well. I don't like to go in public when I'm growing whats left of my beard out for waxing or plucking.

So, if I didn't pay as much attention to appearence, people would talk to me more? I have noticed also, that when a very good friend speaks to me, he is very patronizing. Does that have anything to do with appearence, do you think?

If your good friends are patronizing, they perceive you as having a problem (quite possibly that one) or they aren't your friends. If your look is superficial, you have to compensate by speaking particularly deep or you will be written off by others as being superficial, whethar you are or not. Beauty queens are perceived as having compensating for a lack of anything inside. The people that end up hanging out with them are only more likely to support the philosophy that one makes it in this world by appearance, so you never end up developing the social skills employed by the non beauty crowd. Someone truly regal may be likely to dress sharp as an adult, but you'll get the impression that they would be equally confident addressing an assembly in cut-offs and a t-shirt.

Try to develop the feeling that you are at home and with friends no matter where you are; It will show to others who will then treat you as at home and a friend.

Look everyone in the eyes with either innocent joy or non-judgemental self-confidence. There are few people I haven't been able to get a smile out of. I've even been able to get them to smile while they were in the middle of lecturing. As your understanding, so will your body language. For some people I don't get a moment to greet with a 'hi', my eyes a make a single inward spiral acknowledging heaven, earth, their aura, and them as also being the center of it. Aspire to be in a league of Angels.

And I was thinking to say the same as Dab myself [that we can't see her yet see her as thoughtful]. Now you have to graduate to meeting people face to face at school with out your looks. If you want some practice, talk to the homeless in safe places like window washers in front of video stores. You'll find most of them are philosophers (perhaps no more than others are secretly), but their conversation is honest, without airs. A wise person in todays world learns how to make every experience genuine in spite of having to master tact and protocol.

I actually don't judge people. I like everybody, and everything. I just judge myself a lot. I can't speak deeply. I don't really know how.

Really? Thanks for the confidence boost! I guess I needed it.

Look at your surveys: "should criminals choose their sentence options?", "Are you sensitive to weathar?", "Are you difficult to get along with?", and personality surveys speaking metaphorically. The surveys here don't get much deeper. You're going to have a wonderful life when you get over your unfounded lack of self-appreciation. "God dwells within you, as you." - Guru Mayi Chidvilasananda.

- Sweet. You and star2b have both given your names out in the same fashion. Don't fish for compliments, know you're blessed and delight in giving them out instead.

You should contemplate how to be your best, but unless your omniscient, be easy on yourself, you can not be expected by God or society to do better than you have the knowledge or wisdom to do. Feel optimum about yourself, while continuing to seek wisdom.

What do you mean giving our names out in the same fashion? I've said my name several times before, and that was quoting what someone had said to me. So, I should just be a lot easier on myself, and then I'd be happy?

It was the first time I encountered your names. Star2b was giving a quote too. This is my survey with you; Her and I have a dialogue going in "What is your age?"

Yes. You're not trying less than anyone else. And even if you weren't, that's still the way God made you.

At every moment you have the choice to be happy or sad about your experiences and choices. You might as well be happy all the time. Like when I get up in the morning, I often feel drab and am pre-occupied as I take my shower. I have all these plants in my shower window to remind me "cheer up you fool". I may suffer when I think about my neighbors or something, but it's almost always by choice and there is a motive behind experiencing something other than joy and delight. It helps me understand things and have compassion. But still, your suffering helps no one; If you are on the battlefield doctoring fallen soldiers, much better to be beaming love and joy than expressing anguish. The closer you get to this state, the more you will have people lure you to suffer with them. It's called the 'Lobster Pot Syndrome'. I had it explained to me at the time of my yoga awakening.

I don't believe in happiness. I believe in being content. Well, in my life anyway.

I've had the experience of feeling my heart like a huge diamond with a waterfall gushing from it. When you feel like that you can love everyone impartially and unconditionally because you're overflowing yourself. You don't need things or other peoples feelings to feel ecstatic yourself. However a consequence of feeling that way is that everyone will treat you with reverence.

Wow. You are really good with words. A huge diamond itha waterfall gushing from it? Have you ever considered writng?

That's exactly how I envisioned it when it happened. I am a visual thinker. If I hadn't visualized the feeling, I wouldn't be able to remember it. I do write (esp. poetry & art critiques), but I'm slow. It just occurred to me to have my 13 year old daughter write some of my stuff for me, like a collaboration on a screenplay I only wrote a synopsis of. She's already writing at a professional level, and churns out a couple dozen pages a week.

If you are considering writing the best book I can recommend from an online used bookstore would be 'Three genres'. The best excercise I can recommend is to find your significant keyword like moon or fruit or wind-up toy then write quickly on the subject for 20 minutes in one form ie. a narrated story; throw it away, clear your mind, and spend 20 minutes with the same keyword in another form ie. haiku; throw it away; spend your last 20 minutes writing quickly in yet another form ie. screenplay or song. What happens when you do this is that at first your mind is all tied up trying to create a formal product. Technique is more important than deep content. By the third session (they should all instantly follow each other) your mind has latched on to what is important about your keyword, and will not be hindered by format in expressing it. Try it. In an hour and a half you'll write something that you'll remember for many years.

I wonder if they've IQ tested dolphins? They use sonar and exquisite voice control. If their voices were capable of reproducing what they hear, or better yet creative variations. It would mean they could communicate 3-D virtual realities to each other. For all we know, Dolphins are survivors of Atlantis happily creating great sculptures and other works of arts & sciences in their ecological solution to global impact: non-construction.

I believe that in a sense, but I don't believe in putting ourself in a position to have to dismantle it. If we didn't bang rocks together, this planet would have been good for another few billion years as we slowly evolved to adapt to a dying sun. Instead we chose to have 6 billion people, deplete our resources, and are forced to become nuclear. Nuclear power plants are like putting hot coffee in paper cups and not expecting it to drip 2 weeks later. As I see it, the key to our physical survival is to have no more people than can be supported by the local geography. All homes should have rooftop gardens or preferably be underground so that there is solid greenbelt for unobstructed animal migration. No commuting should be further than one would travel on bicycle, although subway speedtrains for international vacationing & relations. Nuclear power should be on the moon and beamed down by maser. Industry could be performed there by robots. With nuclear-emmission-nano-technology, the planet Jupiter could provide power for billions of years, or even be reconfigured into a spaceship. Televisions (and for the time being, cars) would all come with a time limit and recycling deposit so the same assembly lines could be reconfigured for recycling. Sensible harvesting limits would be applied so that we wouldn't have situations like the gulf stream nets having had to resort to smaller mesh nets to maintain the same yield (think about that one). We know enough about conservation now that if we had a planet in the same health as half a century ago. We would of course have to have population control.

As our planet becomes destroyed, people forget that it was doing fine for millenium, and it's only in this last century that we've wreaked so much havoc. It was the mining of fossil fuels that demarked our turn towards non self-sustainment.

I do stereograhy, 360 panoramas, multiple exposures, and still frame animation. I've owned a Minolta 7000i, but have gone back to my favorite, A pair (stereography) of Konica T4's which will do all the above even with dead batteries, as well as provide depth-of-field preview.

I've made a pinhole camera as a kid, My first real camera was a Kodak Vigilant 620 with bellows f2.4-22, T B 1/2 - 1/240? I've also shot 8mm.

This is the next camera toy I want - http://www.imagek.com/mainindex.htm It turns your existing SLR camera into a digital camera, so you don't have to buy disposable technology, and get to keep your investment in nice lenses and such.

I was just browsing an antique camera store today. Lots of Polaroid 800's & such

I would only recommend Photoworks if it weren't for Kodak PhotoCD. There is usually a checkbox on your developing envelope for it at the pharmacy. If not, ask for it at the counter. the CD comes in five different resolutions for quicker loading. They hold 100 photos, and you can bring your disk back to have more appended. They also come with software on the disk for viewing & exporting, though apps like Photoshop take them in directly. and they come with an index print. The only diadvantage is the short wait. It's a lot less hassle and better quality than either a scanner or digital camera.

Most of the companies that I dealt with that send back film, send back film that they claim is there own brand of special film for getting prints and slides or something (places like Seattle film works) There film actually comes from the unused portion of 35mm movie reels sent in for developing. It would in fact be superior film except that by the time it gets to you, it is old and makes for grayish photos with low color saturation and color bleeding. Also Kodak uses 6.5MB per image on its CD. The other companies that use floppies, even if they have only one image per disk, could dedicate 1.2MB per image at best. Plus it's much handier to have 100 photos on one CD with an index print cover than 100 floppies that wont be nearly as permanent. Some new computers have even dropped the floppy drive. I don't know if Kodak posts on the web or not. I myself prefer to post myself, so I can go into photoshop and do all my image enhancement, cropping, & compression first. I think Kodak probably costs about the same too and is available at most photo counters. [I know a lot more because I was studying to be one of their programmers when the format first came out] If you know what your doing in Photoshop, you can restore what looks like a shot of swamp mud into the originally intended vivid family portrait. You can also turn a scan of 1/3" x 1/3" picture that looks like a handful of half-tone dots into the originally intended line drawing work. I use it for stereophotography {3D}. Last night I was studying how to use it for 3D line-drawing. (I'm thinking to urge the Simpsons comic to go 3D).

I hope they didn't give your daughter a free box of twinkies too.

Periods didn't bother me.

My wife wasn't in to oral sex at all. (Though we did just everything else imaginable) One of the few times we did, I kissed her and got a mouth full of cum. It was generally unfair, I tied her down all the time warming up with massages (we took a 6 week course (and brought along her lover too)), but she only tied me down a couple of times.

I have never lied about anything to my recollection. I stole a stuffed animal when I was five, and slept with my cousin when I was 15. I've done some drugs. I don't have anything to lie about.

darn. I just wish I was as honest as you are. Lying just gets you in more %?@ down the line, I know that, yet I continue to save myself from the original %?@ I'll be in!!!

I knew I wasn't capable of juggling that kind of mess even if I wanted too. As I got older, I also discovered (within reason) that my life is better the more I reveal. I've never met anyone with high self-esteem, freedom and grace who lies. Lying accompanies a karma of having to distrust others as well. There are states of consciousness in which everyone is psychic, and there's always a few folk around like that. Watch for condemning looks around you, or television shows about lying that evening. There's stuff my mom wouldn't have wanted to knom when I was growing up. I try to head off my kids before they do things. For instance, I told my son that if he wanted to get in trouble, he could say he was staying at his friends house, while his friend said he was staying at my sons place. His mom & my brother (her husband) did indeed bust him for it the next morning when they found out. Me, I share my memories with the kids about things like spotting for beer, and try to impart my lessons and some common sense. I like to laugh with them when they get busted for something stupid.

Please chant:

HARE KRISHNA

HARE KRISHNA

KRISHNA KRISHNA

HARE HARE

HARE RAMA

HARE RAMA

RAMA RAMA

HARE HARE

& Krishna will help you! :)

http://www.iskcon.org

Sir, might I suggest you stay out of the sun?

Wicksy replies to North79 Ha!

Maarten replies to North79 Ha!

Supplicant replies to North79 Ha!

(I know a good bandwagon when I see one )

I don't get it.

So much for high genius!

My hypothesis include:

Something on his referred site that I did not visit inspired the joke.

He probably has a shaved head and could get sunburned.

His sanity was in question after the conclusion of his advice and somehow the phrase "doesn' get out much (in the sun)" was distorted as a form of prescription for his condition.

You are all demons and are metaphorically suggesting that he turn from the light.

You presume his chanting to take place indoors, and condone he dedicate all his spare time to chanting.

As North79 has had plenty of opportunity in the past to make jokes and comments generic to Richards status as a Krishna practitioner, the joke must either be based upon the new information "and Krishna will help you", or be tied in with his age, or tied in with another new context existing in combination with other surveys (my first conclusion, quickly dismissed because either everyone else is substantially better informed than I or are laughing just to mindlessly join the bandwagon).

In retrospect, I suppose I had overthought the situation, and my dismissal of the shaved head interpretation was faulty, that the joke was not in fact based on recent comment material.

- My nickname was 'Spock' all through school. My logic discounted the basis of too many jokes. I'm not like that nearly as much these days, but I still avoid getting anything from the comedy section of the video store; I don't find much of it humorous. My best friend, genius and mystic, with a masters in rennaissance literature is the only person who's humor consistently hit deep. Her jokes would have made sense simultaneously at all the levels and contexts I was examining this joke for. Dang, I miss her.

Also, I run in into Krishnas and Buddhists all the time, was raised by one, and was a yogi applying for temple residence, so I don't really associate Krishna's with shaved heads.

<b>[Scene 15 - Green room - DAY "outtakes with Kristal"]</b>

<b>[Camera:</b> Ceiling distant, soft focus, separate framing, Kristal on <b>couch</b>, Star stretching upward on back of ,<b>wooden chair]</b>

I have debates with her. (She's 13). Short of getting pregnant or running away from home, there isn't much I'd flip over. There's never any circumstance in which I'm not in a supportive role. With my son I have long talks about goals, ambitions, desires, and consequences (both of them actually). I'm currently in a debate with my daughter Ceilidh about her ambition to live in a cabin with no plumbing or electricity. When she asked at age five to get her ears pierced we said yes. She often dresses in overalls and a baseball cap, which I nearly find repugnant, but I just laugh at myself for feeling that way, and wouldn't hint at it to her, though I try to steer her selections when buying clothes. When she was in LA with me I got her this stretch-velour pant-suit combo with floral printwork on the velour and the design burns. It cost mo about as much as I spend a year on my own wardrobe. The pants were flame-red bell bottoms which she forgot twice while visiting people along the trip.

Sineadh is A-OK.

You, my lady, are testing your ability to stand as an independent woman against your dad. Hopefully he's mature enough to understand and accept that.

You see, that's (my independence) what I try to point out to him, but his state of mind is: "You live in my house, you live by my rules" and I say "Yeah, but I have to live with my hair 24/7, not you" and he says, "If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't be alive, nevertheless have hair." and I respond" It was only half your doing." (Everyone looks at my mom) "I don't want to get into this." (Aside) "You know your father doesn't like short hair, why do you have to cause fights?" (That's where I begin to feel guilty) Then my dad is like "Angela, everytime you ask for something, when do I say no?" and I say "Practically never" (At this point I feel super guilty and lose my focus, therefore losing my arguement.) I find it sooooo stupid that he gets freaked over short hair! I can understand tatoos or belly rings (something I'm vouching for) but cutting my hair!

On the trivial side, he probably finds a buzzed head more objectionable. I just dug through my 1979 sophomore yearbook and there were a few gals with shoulder length hair, everyone elses was much longer. Dorothy Hamil & Vidal Sassoon were not mainstream.

Your father is not at all rare. Contemplate the universal taboo.

You're not going to win this looking spectacular, rebellious, or dumpy.

He doesn't want to let go of you, but knows it's in both of your interests. You have nothing to be guilty about. Nor does he, statistically speaking. Shift the conversation towards how you'll always be there for holidays, and will always value his giving advice regardless of the decisions you make. Make the shift a compromise, not a severing.

Good idea. By the way, I finished babysitting by two cousins for 3 days straight. I did what you told be...and they were angels. Of course there were the odd arguments, but not as many and they listened to me on the first shot. Thank you so much for all the good advice.

You're welcome. Spread the wisdom.

When my son was four, he was able to comment on our divorce with quotes like "You had a heart but then you lost it". My daughter at age 5 was able to make all sorts of distinctions of the portrayal of good and evil in the movie Fantasia. I used to get all sorts of advice from her. She had a good feel for what would prosper or fail. Anyone wise listens to children with respect, and helps bridge the gap between between their natural born wisdom and the madness we live in.

It's because little ones remember their spirits better than we polluted adults.

True enough. By kindergarten we explain the whole thing away. My daughter used to talk to the waves and I wasn't going to stop her, instead I learned to do it myself. Now when I'm feeling energetic, I bring sunny weather with me when travelleng. Most of the little kids I've met are psychic, and most I suspect are doomed to forget for decades. I've seen a lot of people who end up partitioning like my daughter did. You can talk to her on a physical realm or spiritual relm, but the twe are no longer friends; If you think 'of course' with spiritual matters she'll acknowledge them, but if you actually call such things spiritual, she'll deny them.

Isn't it a shame we have to forget at all. I want to remember.

Some don't forget, but they're very rare. We don't have to (I think). I did. I never did remember my first five years so I can't say if I ever was in touch, I couldn't blame my parents because they were new-agers, though my mom was asleep, and I don't have a chance to find about whethar my step-dad or dad was or not. My children are both awake but it took constant discussion of their awareness to keep it that way. And as I mentioned earlier, my daughter is kind of stratified. Consciousness is easily forgotten; my son had some wizard like experiences which he had forgotten after living a couple years after living without me. For instance I showed him how to reach directly into a wall of ivy for a ball instead of systematically searching it. I still have much self-discovery to do. I see that my thought's and environment are the same script, but I still haven't found the decision or source of the script.

My daughter spent a good month or so when she was two years old, asking me, "Momma, Where's Lisa?". We knew nobody named Lisa and she would get so frustrated with me that I didn't understand who she meant. She longed for Lisa and asked for her constantly and then, she just stopped asking.

..and you think that was someone she knew or was?

Did she have developed interests as a toddler? For instance I had a passion at the age of three for masonry and designing gas-lighting ignitor mechanisms.

I don't know if it was her...or someone she knew. At a very young age she would draw and sketch and pretend to write constantly. I kept them all. Every scribble and scrap. She lost interest in the constant drawing coloring and pretend writing with each passing year.

Most kids do that given a chance. You should have encouraged it more, perhaps you did. My daughter became quite a writer and artist. My son however was quite clever drawing mazes and such when younger, but gave it up when he was moved awy from me. I had the neighbor kids drawing and playing here today, shortly after finally reporting them to family services for emotional abuse and neglect.

I always encouraged it. It fell away when she found her true passion. READING! She devours books...She recently read Of Mice and Men and just borrowed my copy of Lord of the Flies. She was thrilled to meet Anne Rule last month and get her autograph in her copy of The Stranger Beside Me. She is the only fifth grader in a sixth grade reading class. Harry Potter is her hero

'Stranger in a strange land' is top of my reccommendation list. I was fond of works like 1984 & Brave New World, but I'm not sure that's a heritage I should pass on. It makes a template for the manifestation of paranoid diabolic conspiracy thinking, an earthly amusement I perhaps have to great an attraction to. Make problems, fix problems, Raison D'Etre.

In my meditation last night I was hanging out with a James, Debbie, Richard, Tom, and Mary who were vacationing on some tropical beach. It was wierd having these people I didn't know talking to me. I still don't know how or why we were connected. The meditation was accompanied by the feeling of being jerked down a rabbit hole.

who are all the people that keep coming to me and gathering around my bed at night?...it's getting annoying..... and the voices? and the whistling?and the doors slamming? Am I losing my mind?

Are you serious? I'd be happy to do a free reading for you if so.

I've only had instances of voices one night before (the night I became a minister). Last night though, I was setting my three alarm clocks to make sure I was up in time for jury duty, but decided I would rather set my internal clock to 15 minutes earlier (sunrise)(which worked) when I heard a voice cynically say "Why don't you try something mortal for once". I was happy to have a new faculty, my own inner guide, when along came the name introductions and shot that theory to h_ll. I was intrigued, but had to intentionally keep relaxed.

The whistling, is it accompanied by an orange or red shift in your perception? and is it a low or high pitch? coarse? bell like? I haven't had the doors, but I've had spirits fluttering in the blinds. My great grandmother though, had a physical tug of war once on a door with a 'light' force. I've never tried to contact dead humans, but she is someone I wish I had known. I have had encouters with ghosts though that I didn't try to reach.

You do sound quite facetious, I must say.

P.S. I wasn't one of them. I haven't tried to astrally view your parlor since the "waxing" days. There are only three people here I've tried that with lately. A doubter, a student, and someone I wanted to sway with an actual appearance (2 of those come to think of it). None of them ever made comments, so I presume it was a one-sided experience.

My crowning achievement in telempathy so far has been 'they tiny feet'. I'm much closer with my soul mates, but I meant aside from them.

You and I both dear. It was severe a couple months ago. I've seen the same demon showing up again & again 3 years ago when I was in Jenner. I have a photo of him amongst the gorgeous photos I took in Jenner. www.ereiam.com | Life | Jenner. But that was nothing.

I have two separate types of haunted going on here. One is my logos often turns against me; neighbors outside laugh whenever I resign in some fashion like drinking or taking a negative view of my prospects. The worst was when I concluded I must be in hell and served no purpose here. The neighbors yelled "Welcome homey". I decided God meant me to experience and decided to relish it. Those neighbors who I complain about raising their children with strict sensory deprivation and prohibition of play or bonding with each other quite often Escalated to beating the crap out of each other while I sat trying not to care. I couldn't keep it up, but at least I found things would be worse here without my prayers.

The second type of haunting is more traditional. I've got the spirits blowing through the blinds accompanied by the feeling of electricity in my body, I've got the people in my head during my meditations, though I haven't determined if that's a problem or not. They arrived when my back left me on the floor freqeuntly, and I had the experience of my soul draining at my friends as I've described before. It was the first time I ever had the sensation that I could actually die. That I was mortal. (I'd conceded as a kid that my flesh would die though). That was the beginning. Prior to that I relished conjuring renowned spirits that caused earthquakes and power outages upon their arrival. It only added to my elated sense of invincibility.

Is your email still "M" <t@g.c> ?

When I first met you I had strong impressions of that white aura in your trees, and a darkness, but not enough to constitute haunting. Has there been any death, injury, or depression (sense of self / purpose). Have you played with any magic or prayer including anything quite opposite?

If you you see the spirit(s), would you call them white, black, red, clear, or negative space? And was I right about the whistle being low pitched (in which case I would also say that black is your color, and you are dealing with spirits of impending death and depression) Hopefully not. Have you been traveling or reading and focusing on anything like totems or something with history or spiritual implications? I'll get around to a reading sometime. kristalphoenix@icqmail.com or my icq if you want some privacy.

- Anon's reasoning seems likely too. I don't know enough without a conversation or reading. In my case, it's unquestionable that my ex-soulmate is involved. I even have pictures of her spirit floating around.

I know little of new age concepts, but what does it mean if you feel like you're never alone, like there is always a presence with you? And what if sometimes when you're alone, you feel like you're being touched, caressed by unseen hands? I have incredibly sexual experiences without touching myself and with no one there at all, at least not anyone I can see. I just figured if anyone might have an opinion on this it would be you.

Well for starters, there's little new about new age beliefs. For the most part it is made of the highest ancient teachings about the unity between god, man, and nature. It is a return to the teachings prior to christinity shifting towards dualism, preaching that God & man are separate. Ancient Judaism preached that we were unified but needed to undergo 10 evolutions to realize that. The kabalah however became heretical as was any thing anywhere over the past couple millenia that challenged the church as being a necessary intermediary. In New Age, the emphasis on austerities has been replaced with a shift towards chanting & meditation. They tried to add a high acceptance of the ego, and when it got big back during the 70's along with what seemed to be new thought, the door opened also for thoughts of Atlantis & space aliens, just because of the timing in our culture.

There has always been a presence with me, even before I took up a spiritual life at age 25, or started studying the occult at age 16. I wouldn't have known that if it weren't for my recent ability to 'download' others worldview. I had the experience for the first time during one of these downloads in which I was geting to know one of my girlfriends of being alone. It was like 'hold my hand daddy, but there was no daddy to be found.' In my normal life there is nothing I can pinpoint whatsoever, there's just a feeling that whatever holds those galaxies together, is the stuff I am made of.

As far as actual individuals go, it seems to me, as it does even to some others at SC, that there are really only 1200 or so main characters on this planet. If you move to another state, you'll still get a chance to meet them again. Only the names will change. New age means you are sitting with the creator and therefore the macrocosm of these characters exists within your microcosm as well.

I have no experience like your particular sexual one. I've conjured lovers in meditations, and have created romantic settings by 'programming' what will occur over the radio. I also have plenty of physical sensations in meditation, but sexual sensation has never been one of them.

farted as kid

spiked as teen

flirt both ways

cut as a teen

and Love to argue against my own views, but even funner is tricking someone to argue against their own position. I'm teaching my 13 year old daughter that skill now. My ex still falls for it.

- only Flirted often with one of my teachers at parties, though she'd preach against such things on campus.

Oops, not twisty.

The following ad was aired several months ago across Canada by Molson Breweries for their Molson Canadian beer brand,

featuring an average "Joe" on a stage giving the following speech (caps indicate yelling):

Hey.

I'm not a lumberjack,

or a fur trader...

and I don't live in an igloo

or eat blubber, or own a dogsled...

and I don't know Jimmy, Sally or Suzy from Canada,

although I'm certain they're really, really nice.

I have a Prime Minister,

not a President.

I speak English and French,

NOT American.

and I pronouce it ABOUT,

NOT A BOOT.

I can proudly sew my country's flag on my backpack.

I believe in peace keeping, NOT policing.

DIVERSITY, NOT assimilation,

AND THAT THE BEAVER IS A TRULY PROUD AND NOBLE ANIMAL.

A TOQUE IS A HAT,

A CHESTERFIELD IS A COUCH,

AND IT IS PRONOUCED 'ZED' NOT 'ZEE', 'ZED'!

CANADA IS THE SECOND LARGEST LANDMASS!

THE FIRST NATION OF HOCKEY!

AND THE BEST PART OF NORTH AMERICA!

MY NAME IS JOE!

AND I AM CANADIAN!

[_] No, I don't think it has anything to do with the United States

[_] No, I think its cute

[_] Yes, I think it is anti-American, but harmless

[_] Yes, I think it is anti-American and I find it offensive

[_] Not sure

[_] I think it is an effective ad

[_] I think it is not an effective ad

[_] Other opinion

out of work, lonely

Not About

Not Diversity

Sexism

Toke a Chesterfield

Couch - ZZZ

It's called 'Imparting a positive message' in the vernacular.

The media is not what you think. Observe carefully.

I could eat all I wanted (though I don't eat much) and not gain a pound most of my life. I've always practically had an IV of cola or sweet coffee going. Things changed 3 months ago when a slipped disc prevented me from bicycling all over the place on social errands. Since then I've been gaining seven pounds a month. Before that, I actually tried to buy the most fattening foods, figuring the body knows how much of stuff to eat, and I should eat real food.

Lucky you, I tend to go up on the scale quickly so I am VERY careful of what I ingest. Sorry to hear about your slipped disk. Seven pounds a month sounds a lot. I hope there will be no mishap with your bicycle when you can ride it again.

I do ride it when necessary. I don't own a car and the busses in LA are on strike. I've even carried 20 bags of groceries home at once once (huge basket, ropes, & bungees). But now my social life is highly curtailed, and I have to shop more frequently. I can ride without damage, but I can't carry my purse. I purchased some roller blades just before my major lapse (too much pain to sleep) and just half an hour ago, tried them out for a block.

I think I destroyed it hiking with 4 suitcases, or years earlier, putting 55 gallon drums of water in the trees.

Thank you.

Nice one! It would appear that it does not much good to you when you carry so many heavy things. Forgive me, but why do you do it? I'm 5' 5" tall and weigh 119 lb, can you imagine what these loads would do to me?

I never knew it was a problem, until it was a catastrophic problem. I had never lived light, always having a million projects and classes since forever, and never having a lifestyle for comparison. I think the final straw was a 73 pound green cuprous rock I was escorting to and from a sculpture class occasionally. My life is chaotic. I never know for sure what I'll be doing, yet I don't want to limit my options, so I end up carrying around a lot of just in case & maybe projects. When I had a station wagon, I had several boxes fitting that definition. Since I've gone digital & miniature with my art (Tarot cards) I carry far less weight.

By the way, Micah. That was one of my first exercises after my awakening. I would just sit their while my toddlers smeared mayonnaise on my face and my wife asked if I was crazy. In fact, her & my bro dragged me off to the psychiatrist while I sat catatonic. Later I moved on to living with out sensory stimulation, it was a very painful initiation, but on the other hand that's also when all my siddhi's (telempathic powers) opened up. Siddha Yoga is not a religion for the weak if you take the overnight transfiguration route.

I've done it in many attitudes and even states of consciousness (once for 9 hours uninterupted in whch we exchanged our entire history of 1000's of reincarnations) but never, I would say, without passion of any sort. I suppose it's possible, but what's the point. Come to think of it now though, that was a dominant religion theme a century ago. I don't know if people suceeded, or it was just a means to get people motivated by guilt to meet the churches objectives. I went through 8 years of celibacy as part of my training. (the latter 5 were merely circumstantial). It can help one evolve spiritually.

By the way, does TwistedIvory refer to a unicorn horn which is an ancient symbol of procreation, and an even older representation of DNA?

Oh dear! You are not a mule, are you? 20 bags at once, 4 suitcases, 55 gallon drums of water - good grief, I couldn't do that. You must be very strong. Have you tried a belly-bag for your purse?

No, I'm growing my own.

Again,I carry to much stuff. I carry a soft attaché with several files, a couple books, my Tarot deck, cosmetics, sometimes a jacket & jog pants in case I'll be home late. I was able to leg press 300 lb in highschool the one time I had access to the weights. On the other hand, I've never been able to do more than a few sit-ups, so I guess my weakness hit me. I'm 6'2" and now weigh 190+ most of my life I was 175, though I held 155 back when I was doing theater dance.

To cook new things from scratch:

Rice, bread, dough, noodles, and potatoes are generally interchangeable.

Flavors and spices all belong in palettes - [cloves, ginger, allspice]=sweet spices. [thyme, basil, oregano]=Italian etc.

Once you learn all the pallettes, you can see where to mix them.

Cream cheese is palette neutral. It can go in nachos, blintzes, tropical soup, or bratwurst.

Certain foods and spices segway between palettes, others do not. The ham and pineapple pizza uses the sweet spices as a segway. The recipe can be pushed into a fruit pizza made with dates, cranberries, and cream cheese (& cloves, ginger, anise). The tomato is neutral enough to sustain the sweet palette, but garlic and the other Italian spices are not to compatable with the sweet spices.

A salsa could be in a warm or cool palette, and be sweet or not. I am fond of a commercial raspberry/jalapeno salsa. Chile & clove would be in a warm salsa, garlic onion cilantro & lemon in a cool salsa.

Think of cooking as toppings and bases. Cornbread is a base into which you could mix chili, eggs, cheese, meats, etc.

The two main issues are compatable tastes and making sure everything gets cooked. If part of your recipe contains eggs or uncooked meat, you have to make sure the'll get cooked, and often piling a bunch of stuff on top from the onset prevents that.

More advanced cooking involves separating compatable sub-palettes, colors, & textures. the ice-cream layer cake is a simple example.

Wow! You know a lot about cooking! Are you a chef? I seem to have trouble in burning things, such as the food, the oven catching on fire, or myself catching on fire. Then it goes to how come 2/3 cups of water can look like 2 and 2/3 cups of water? How do you fix a mistake like that? Well I thought a good way was to leave the brownies in for an extra 20 minutes to get rid of the moisture, they looked kinda funny afterwards.

I know most of the arts & sciences. Cooking is probably the one I know least. I can say this much: think - don't rely on recipes. learn to measure by eyeball, proportion, and consistency. and then the difference between 2 and 2 2/3 c. becomes obvious. I cook an entirely different recipe for waffles every week (until it burnt out, it's a 60's classic that looks like a square UFO, I'm in the midst of fully restoring it.) Chocolate chip-coconut-banana etc.If you cook the same thing a lot & modify it a bit, you'll learn what the water, milk, eggs, etc. contribute. There are some rules that would take forever to observe like over-stirring batter or using hot water makes the result rubbery, or that heat converts carbohydrates into sugars which is why sautéd onions or garlic, or toasted bread are sweeter. Things like that are found in a great book "the Joy of Cooking". I finally accepted the fact that I have no time awareness and bought myself a timer. It paid for itself if it saved two frozen pizza's from incineration, and I'm sure it has.

2 cups flour, 3/4 cup powdered milk, a packet of instant chocolate pudding, a cup of chocolate chips, 1/2 tsp baking powder, 1/4 cup margarine, and 1 egg added to your recipe would have solved the problem wonderfully.

Oh, to build a spice cabinet is costly. Start with buying the pallettes in a single bottle, for instance instead of all the sweet spices, get pumpkin pie spice or my favorite chinese-five-spice. Read the ingredients of all your favorite international bottles, and find the common denominator, for instance crushed peppers and onion. Get those instead, and then if you want to make it Thai, add pineapple, coconut milk, and curry. Then buy yourself a new spice every month. Usually real vanilla costs much more, but sometimes you can find it for cheaper. Almond, anise, banana, & a citrus are versatile extracts. If you have an international aisle, the spices are better and often cost a 20th of the price for anything from cumin to poppy seeds. Egyptian ingredients are awesome.

To save money on groceries, remember the cheapest price of everything you've seen. When you see canned pineapple drop from $1.20 to $0.75 get a few cans. I keep a sharpie marker on the fridge to write the mo./yr. on the can. That way nothing gets too old, even if the cupboard gets out of order. Watch bulk carefully. Sometimes you can buy a gallon of vlassic pickles for the same price as a quart (boil down the juice with pineapple juice and plum jam to make sweet & sour sauce). A gallon of honey-roasted nuts cost the same as 2 pints. But be careful; incredibly often bulk costs more per ounce than small portions.

Read ingredients. Look for real food content. If two cans of corned-beef-hash are the same size, but one has twice as much protein, you can presume with the other one you're paying for half water. Avoid sales gimmicks like "Fat-free", it usually means "Now with less food". If the ingredients are [water, sugar, food] that means it can be as much as 99% water, possibly 50% water 49% sugar, but in any circumstance, not more than 33% food.

Look for alternative suppliers. My local flash-mart has eggs that are half the price of the grocery. They are probably from local back yards, meaning the hens see daylight and eat a variety of leftover dinner slop, the kind of thing you pay extra for at the health food store.

Save time by cooking in bulk. Instead of making 2 Monté Christo sandwiches, make 10 and freeze the rest. You can cook on Sunday and take the other 6 nights off with a ton of variety in the freezer to pop in the oven. Just leave off the lettuce or sour cream until the night you reheat it. Disposable pie plates work great for super-nachos.

My ex-wife had me beat. She could cook exquisite 3 course dinners employing all her nutrition class skills at 12¢ a plate.

From my mom, Mary McKinstry

<b>Chicken sandwiches:</b>

Patties - Fine ground chicken, apples, onions, bread crumbs, oats, chicken bullion (fried, broiled, or grilled);

Jicama slices steeped ovornight in white vinegar, oil, spearmint, & anise;

Ginger mayonnaise (add fresh ground ginger root & set overnight);

fresh kiwi slices

<b>Hor D'ouevres:</b>

- steep pineapple chunks overnight in Creme de Menthe Liquer in fridge.

serve chilled on tooth picks.

- pit dates (needle nose pliers work excellent), stuff with cheddar cheese wedges, wrap in raw bacon, secure with shish-kebob skewer, broil on cookie sheet till caramelized. Everyone considers these intimidating but scrumptious once eaten. Incredibly rich so cook no more than 2 per person.

One of mine:

<b>Nile Geodes:</b>

Center: Mango chutney, Egyptian strawberry preserves, Orange (fruit only) marmalade, ginger: low boil with cornstarch.

Filling: Date filling, Poppyseed filling, Clove, Allspice, Chinese 5 spice.

Crust: Bulgar, whole wheat flour, oats, cooked rice, salt, touch of soda/powder: Steep in yeasty beer.

Coating: sweet coconut w/ spearmint flakes steeped in anise.

Fridge, Form earth core balls, deep fry in Olive & Canola oil."

I'm like your dad in making friends of everyone within a 100m and yet I am transgendered, something many people consider ugly by definition. True ugliness is a state of mind that expresses itself in your facial expressions or body language. I've met plenty of people with severe acne or a body covered in fire scars who possess a radiant magnetism. I feel sorry for people who think that physical attributes have something to do with socialization.

On the other hand, I do wear make-up. I do so as a further expression of my inner state. On a bad day, I can spend half an hour and still look like the bride of frankenstein; On a good day, I just think 'Angel', and have a lovely artistic make-up job in minutes.

This is the most deeply complex survey I think I've ever seen here. In the USSR it was a constitutional right. There are too many what-if's to give a straight answer. And the survey itself is open for interpretation. It depends on whethar we are also taking social security for granted or not. Here goes...

If everyone will be granted a decent survival income by the state then it would be a privelage, but if we could afford to do that, we could also afford things like the Works Progress Administration and try building utopias again.

If there was no disability/unemployment-compensation then it should be a right.

Education should be treated as public employment. If you do not fare well there you will have to find less advanced work.

Already there is little relationship between peoples innate abilities and their job title or income. It would be nice if society could recognize that we frequently employ great thinkers at toy stores and people with a narrow bandwidth as top engineering management.

There is an increasing trend towards hiring on the basis technical certification, meaning a person profits not by being adept at novel circumstances, but by having purchased the lucrative expertise.

Though both cases seem to be opposite, they are the same in that is not the capacity to do well at your assignments that matters nearly as much as your skill in making clever investments and having the people skills to land & keep a job and get promotions, regardless of your actual job ability.

My position was 'just do your job well' in environments where everyone else was competitive. I avoided any promotion games and the end result was I was revered by my peers except those with the mistaken vendetta that I was competing with them, and those were the ones who got promoted.

Eventually I figured out that if you ask for $100k instead of $24k, people will take you up on your request. If you just sit there making $24k, they'll leave you alone. But I'm still not happy that it works that way. I would prefer performing whatever skill I was well suited for, and making the same money. I am just as good at designing software architecture as restoring a classic car or flipping burgers; all three positions are in demand by the public; why should the pay scale be so different?

In mid July (2000) I had the experience of my soul energy draining from my body without me. My SO accused me of causing the same experience to her and terminated our 2 year relationship without a chance to speak back. She refuses my mail too.

I've had a few of those close calls. Plenty of times I've been thrashed under the waves for awhile, but the funny one was when I swam to the deepest part of the pool thinking I would use a garden hose as a snorkel. The moment I opened my throat, the water pressure knocked every bit of wind out of me.

That one too, working at the fast-food, and again when staying with some people in the country (CA). Oh wait, & again when visiting my family in AK and the neighbors down the hill were shooting and threatening my brother. My bro insisted we all lay low, but I insisted we go about things as normal. I won.

Tests of faith.

Never be motivated or influenced by fear.

When I was 5 I tried to commit suicide by laying on the train tracks while a train was coming after my friends destroyed my three faced doll. They dragged me off in time against my will. I wasn't afraid at all, I just didn't want to be in world where your friends could turn on you like that. That experience was pretty much where my memory starts continually. Prior to that I only had a few snapshot memories.

I defeated the restraint on the Loop at Magic Mountain when I was a teen, and stood up during the loop.

When I was 20 I saw a body bag going into an ambulance. Soon after, my wife and I attended the sudden death of our beloved kitten Paternoster (named during an L trip from her reading of Treasure Island in which pirates disguised as monks walked abeut in a 'paternoster while') from pneumonia over the course of an hour and a half. We just cried helpless. His sister Sphinx died of another variety of pneumonia caused by my accidentally slamming the car door on her. That one took months.

My senior cat Zero (who had a brother Panzer both named after a war game box which was their first litter box) tried to die many times. The first time was when I had just designed a tarot card about prayer with someone bringing a lion statue to life, and my cat went into some sort of epileptic fit. I did some heavy prayer & he snapped out of it & resumed his normal behavior right away. Two days later he fell off the fire-escape, and required more heavy prayer. He died a year later in my mom's garden at age 17. His ghost visited me in LA, and he left a cotton cat with angel wings which I still have.

My senior yearbook picture was taken in my 16th century kilt (I spent my summers as an actor in the Rennaissance Faire). I wore it once to school.

On an impulse I wished my father-in-law's brand new car harm, and the next day a cement mixer swerved out control from the oncoming mountain lane, and rolled right over it. It smashed the front widsheild and crushed the trunk. Nothing happened to him. Watch what you wish for, even by accident.

I used to be afraid of thinking back then, even before that, because everything I thought came true, and I didn't want to risk thinking bad thoughts. Later I learned you can let bad thoughts flow unempowered, detached, and without manifestation. Otherwise there almost dying to be thought.

Dumping butter? Sure. Show me the cows. I'll show you millions of people living in the US. Ever wonder why they talked the public into reduced or fat free dairy products? or substitute yogurt. So they can still have butterfat available to make some butter. If you do some research you'll find the dairyman's assn. only gives info on raising milk goats. The USDA data on milk production is classified info. Monsanto tried to release a non-animal milk substitute. The shelf life of milk has increased since we were young. If you do some reserch you'll find the milk processing plants are in Brasil and Argentina. Do the math: cows / people. Why do you think we've resorted to hormones. Certainly not to dump butter. Why is ice-cream increasingly made with carrageenan (seaweed) or various gums (enzyme reconditioning of carbohydrates & possibly hydrocarbons). How about when we were dumping wheat and embargoing the USSR; At the same time we had bread here in the U.S. made with cellulose (saw dust).

Terminated pets are made into pet food (same things done with cattle). Slaughter house blood is used to flavor pet foods that would otherwise have no appeal.

"Soylent green is people."

- I agree with you on the driving. I used to speed on windy mountain freeways and try to stay exactly 30" from the center barrier or risk falling asleep.

Well for one thing, I realized this morning that it was the comment I lost a few day's ago. So I suppose you're talking to the right person. For me, the world is more paranormal than not, and I just keep a good cover. I don't know which means, if any, of paranormal communication you employ. Personally, I take a 'God & I' context of all I hear from the radio, TV, & fringe conversations while usually maintaining an external person to person focus with whom I'm talking to. At times I've dropped the external reality entirely in which case talking to a person becomes like talking directly to Jesus. but that takes a lot of faith to pull off & maintain and tends to dissolute your world. Things like this message thing of yours are common place for me. I just interpret them in the personal context of the moment with seldom much after thought.

It's been one of my goals to write a spiritually sentient dialogue software based on my own experiences with situations like this quirk of yours.

As to it's meaning. I wasn't you at the moment you read it, but it seemed to question your response. I seem to recall your comment about 'butter mountain' pertaining to my issue of smoking while taking hormones for breast development. I'd have to go back though to see if it had additional meaning to my prior comment. I'm often living in several levels of meaning at once. I once wrote a survey here with about 28 options for what level people are hearing on. In retrospect, I discovered that the wording of many of the options had lower level meanings I hadn't anticipated, and therefore the survey was of no use to me in determining the percentage or level of awake people here.

Now of course you could also have meant what the phenomena's existence meant, & I could get heavily into that too.

So you took my referral to 'butter mountains' as a euphemism for your burgeoning breasts, or at least that is what that image raised in your mind? Don't you think when people have things on their mind, any experience or conversation seems to pertain to that concern? I think it's like when you buy a new car and suddenly you become aware of every other car with the same make and model. Those cars were always there driving around, but it is only when you have altered your perceptions that they stand out to you. It's the same when for no apparent reason different people tell you a story that sticks in your mind. When you think about it, people tell the same type of life stories all the time, but it is only when you try to note how many people share the same experiences that you become aware that we are all connected by some kind of link.I had an experience once when a close friend told me she felt as if something dark was following her. She said she really thought she caught a glimpse of it a few times, so her intuition/sixth sense as well as her vision were confirming the presence of something. About two hours later, a friend from New Zealand who has no knowledge of my other friend called me. He told about a man dressed in black who was following him but who he couldn't turn to see, and how he felt scared about it. If both friends had told me of a backache, I wouldn't have thought anything of it, but this story stuck in my mind. People see/remember and interparate things according to their own fears/expectations and experiences.

These things are every day for me, sometimes every second, which is to say I can compose poetry and hear it over the radio with a few second delay. When I discuss a rare car like the Citroen SM (in the US) the person I'm talking to will say non-chalantly "oh, you mean like that one" and point to one oncoming down the freeway. I asked for another message on which job to take today (my neighbor offered me a chance at drawing the Simpsons) and a few minutes later as my fellow jurors were being interviewed (I was selected), one of them introduced his employment as a writer for the Simpsons. Is that what you mean by interpretation? I mean something higher than that? That was the will/manifestation aspect of the logos. I was referring earlier to the interpretive aspect, which if you're in perfect tune, goes above omens & such to a state where every scattered word source around you congeals into a unified perfect english conversation with you.

I know if I do something that I try to conceal from others some situation will arise where that topic is brought up, or I will see an article relating to something that I have just done. I often think about a problem and without asking someone next to me will start talking about someone they know with the same problem, then offer a solution.

Yeah, that's all part of the system. When you get higher up the scale the conversation will take place directly between your mind and those people nearby. A level higher will have you vocal face to face with them as if they were reading your mind. Another level higher you may converse or not, but there will be no distinction between you and them, you will be both.

There's no consensus on what makes a survey good. 2 more degrees of accuracy isn't going to change the comparative ranking much at all. Hopefully you'll get this next point. I once wrote a computer program to make my decisions (let's say which class to register for). Each choice was rated 1-5 by several criteria. For instance the painting class scored a 5 for 'artistic', a 2 for 'making money', a 4 for 'fun'. I had about 20 criteria (just like everyone here has several criteria for rating surveys). After ranking all the choices for all the criteria, I would enter a formula for choosing priorities, for instance 'making money' is a very important criteria, 'fun' is somewhat important, and 'will the cat's like it' is not important at all.

It turned out to be useless; if I adjusted my emphasis just a little bit, like 'making money' is a somewhat important criteria, 'fun' is somewhat important, etc. that little change would totally rearrange which classes should be my top priority.

In other words the science part of determining 'favorite' is far more complicated than it looks when it involves different perspectives, as we all have here. The best surveys chosen by a handful of people here would be the worst surveys if chosen by a different handful of people, even if they all used the same criteria, which they don't.

Sad, weary, incredulous, annoyed. Why, Why, Why? I just can't believe how society and individuals have let this happen.

Because on the whole consciously or unconsciously people are self interested. I know I am, do you know you are?.............Michael

The biggest criteria in running my life is "how can I best serve society". I still haven't even figured out if that entails having economic or political power, being a communicative example of humble living and educated interest in society or what. I couldn't figure out whether expanding my metaphysical teaching or drawing for the Simpsons was the most conscientious activity. Either way, the lure of affording social activities and getting a house and car are starting to be rather appealling. But you're right in a sense. The desire to live in a world free of misery and suffering is somewhat self-centered. (Why should I have to suffer their lack of wisdom.) When I was a teen, I used to feel suicidal about the human condition. I must also admit, though I act selflessly, I take pride later in being someone who does that. My quest for spiritual knowledge is often an egotistical power trip, even if I make the welfare of society my primary objective. The truth is, though I operate selflessly in situations I must react to, my driving force otherwise is pursuit of awe or self-satisfaction with my brilliance or creativity. Lately because of my bad back and loss of my two sole socializing environments (not counting my errands), I've found that my life only has meaning in the context of others. Without someone to benefit from my efforts, I have no purpose. I'm now contemplating if I would continue living if all the people on this planet vanished, and I had nothing to do but pick daisys from mountain tops and watch movies. It's a deeply saddening contemplation. Our greatest treasure is to be able to give. Two years ago I couldn't see that, I don't think I could go back. I try to make every interaction with someone a gift (though sometimes it takes the form of a condemnation to encourage their contemplation). I tried yesterday volunteering at an agency for kids with HIV or HIV parents. they didn't need me. I still consider it vastly important to delight in creation. All I know of my experience comes through these eyes of God, so yes, I guess I was designed to be self centered.

Much better than that is to put our reactors on the moon and beam down the power with microwave masers. I talked to a couple representatives at LA's Dept. Water & Power about it & they felt it would take 20 years of beauracracy to cooperate with NASA on that. It seems to me that mean's we should start now. I went to them to suggest alternative water processing technology. As is, we recycle our water, and the radioactive build up is increasing. The full water report in Los Angeles suggests taking short showers to prevent radon accumulation in the home. I didn't really get a denial when I asked if we were using CYBL nuclear reactors to make hybrid retrofits of our fossil fuel electric plants. This planet's in bad shape, but I believe it's perfectly salvagable if we act quick. I'd hate to see us as dust on the moon or the latest bio-engineered soylent-green as they do with animal feed now, when they aren't feeding them bio-engineered coal (or us, if you caught the taco bell story before they changed the word 'coal' to 'corn').

Well Kristal, you can always move to Nevada! You wouldnt be the first... although hopefully youd be the last!

Jerome Arizona, Fairbanks Alaska, and Jenner California are my top US contenders. I feel would feel a little guilty, like I turned my back on millions of people who are slowly being poisoned. Here, I am powerless to do anything except talk & pray. If I moved elsewhere, I probably would work on other issues instead. I came up with a design for an inexpensive water still made of large PVC pipes.

I'm not sure whethar you're saying Nevada is good or bad. Besides White Sands stuff, the ag-land is being supplemented with urban sewage from NY & LA. LA reclaims all 850 tons/yr of solids from it's waste water, but they don't let the public know that there's a reason not to dump chemicals down your sink. They put out public service ads that only allude to it, eg. "..because everything that goes down, comes back up. Burp." On the radio they mentioned the water smelling like sewage, but then talked about how they add the foul smell to stove gas. I think the intent was to placate the less-smart & warn the intelligent, but I'm not sure. Even though the facts are published in the fine print, you'll seldom see any significant portion of the truth on television. When I first found out, I wanted everyone to know, but the more I thought about it, the more I came to realize it's better not to let them know. Far more people would get alarmist or feel defeated than would accept making informed changes.

I just watched a movie "the Seventh Seal" with one family Mary, Joseph, and their son Michael. What's your excuse? Middle name?

Yup. Middle name. My brother's first and middle names are Mathew Jonathan, and my father's first is Mark. Interesting, huh?

No, because I lost my personal connection with you there, and now all I read is a bunch of biblical names. Just got through writing a bunch of poetry in "Have you ever swallowed semen?". (Off topic)

....hmm.....at least you're honest? ...sure would be frightening if I spoke my mind like you do!

Most honest person I've knowingly met. Much I still don't say though.

So, you live in fear with limited reality testing? (I've noticed, to my dismay)

I like people who have integrated their levels such that you'll get their original intent no matter what level you hear on.

I spent three years trying to get people to believe what I was experiencing. I gave up and took to teaching them; suddenly people like me were a lot of whom I was meeting.

might autopilot be absentmindedness, or out of mindedness. eg. absentmindedness could mean putting the keys in the fridge, or suddenly realizing that you're brushing your teeth during a TV commercial, an appropriate thing to do, but nothing you remember choosing to do. out of mindedness would be something that normally entails high intellect & sophisticated decisions like computer programming, yet you are performing the task just fine while your awareness is engaged in an altogether different activity like prayer or contemplation. There's some overlap. I known both, but mostly the unpredictable absentmindedness while my mind was engaged in drifting concerns.

Certainly not absentmindedness. More like going through the actions of life, without thought, or 'internal dialogue', which I value highly.

Interesting, there's rarely been a minute in my life lived without internal dialogue. I consider it absentmindedness when, as is generally the case, that dialogue has nothing to do with my physical activities or surroundings.

Actually I've had a feeling from the onset that this was your state. As I imagine it, it is like a dream state. I can imagine three things that that might make you desire: crisp critical thought or contemplation, satori (non-judgemental rich immersion in the senses), congruity of thought with environment. The latter exists in both the mystical and non-mystical version.

I suspect you seek a greater sense of substantive connection. I can assure you first hand that a constant inner-dialogue does nothing to promote that, it even detracts from it. Thought is no less a cul-de-sac than feelings. My astrological influences are fire and water. I take it yours are water and earth.

Your premise for the survey was right on. We think people think more or less like ourselves, but in fact there's a vast array of consciousness, and only the appearances are similar. You and I, though quite different from each other, are somewhat rare in that we have a mystical consciousness, though not as rare as you think. I'm glad you wrote this survey.

I am more worried about nano-viruses, which are in essence both. They can be described as virulent intelligent particle energy waves of matter transformation traveling at light speed through all matter and space. It is much like the Ice-nine described in the book 'cat's cradle' by Kurt Vonnegut, or the Crystal World by J.G. Ballard.

It can go a step above these novels, and make reality appear like a cartoon.

I have seen this future, and it get's quite ugly.

Clinton's top technical advisor, Bill Joy of Sun Microsystems is proposing that we stop teaching science in school to prevent this sort of technology.

There remains one basic concept to attach to nano-technolgy to make this scenario possible. If it is found, everything seen on a Star-trek episode will be immediately realizable. The risk of total gray matter (petrification or plasma state of the planet) is however a trillion times more likely and it would take only one failed lab experiment.

I had a relative visit long long who was smuggling political prisoners out of Russia. We set him up with copies of all the neighborhoods passport stamps, and I showed him how to make the phosporescent inks he would need out of laundry detergent he could excuse being in his back pack. I also begged him to seriously consider if he wanted to have a life career in paranoia. He had already had foreign countries fall into his trap to steal his cryptography work. I used to be an amateur cryptographer myself. It's one of those things I learned as a youngster. And forging signatures, the trick is to think like the person, not try to mimic the slopes & angles.

This morning I was cruising want ads for think-tanks on a lark. The language was ludicrous. The closest it got to plain English in the job descriptions I read was "identify and obtain client assets". In other words, if you have a masters degree in vernacular we wish to hire you to "take people's money"..I found their virtual reality hilarious & dismally pathetic at once.

One ad at Sun for their eMersion officer had 20 eBuzzwords. These people have lost their eMinds.

In one survey, you are simultaneously trying to ask: who, where, how, which, & what. All these 'tell's me' are very surreal. I think the option [voices in my head] would round out this survey well.

If you don't make this into several surveys, at least subdivide the sections as you did with the websites. e.g.

Who: mom, dog, pro-media, chat friends, strangers.

How: Private interpersonal (letter, phone, email; Public interpersonal (bar, chat room); research (search engines, library); packaged delivery (newspaper (local, times, subversive), TV (.. ..), News-site (.. .. ..))

Your writing a survey with at least three levels of granularity (eg. favorite mountain, favorite mineral formation, favorite precious metal or gemstone) all in the same survey. No one to my knowledge has gotten away with it yet here. The advantage to such a survey is that all the related information and comments are in one place. The diadvantage is that you are really trying to get several surveys approved at once, so you'll have to wait a long time as people as people contribute to each category. Plus you run the risk of someone not approving a multi-section survey no matter how well structured.

You'll have a much easier time passing three surveys: Who, How, and Which.

I boiled mine the day before yesterday. I hit my darkest depth, in which I quietly concluded I was in hell, to which a neighbor yelled "welcome, homey". I gave evil discompassionate thinking a shot. I told the neighbor kids not to visit because I was mad, though not at them, and might be liable take it out on them for no reason. I fantasised about throwing them off the porch. I laid on the bed deciding I would relish misery. My neighbor started beating on her kids horrendously (for the first time though she usually yells)for wanting to go out and play instead of taking a nap after school. This made me decide there was purpose to my existence. The other repurcussion was that Flanders' wife was knocked off a stadium to her death on the Simpson's season pilot.I'm too immersed to be evil. I knew underneath that my only reason for the risky experiment was to better understand God.

For me it means I have to start from scratch. Get my bearings. Where am I, Who am with, What are we doing, What topic are we discussing, What was my next point. Usually when I go on the blink, I only have to go as far back as recollecting the topic and my point. Sometimes, I've covered half a dozen topics of my own between replies, and need to pinpoint which if any contained useful or entertaining responses.

When I was in my 20's and didn't get much sleep, waking up involved pointing at everything and getting a fix on the physical structure of the universe. For the first 15 minutes it would generally be a hybrid reality containing the physics of my dream.

If I were to have developed a personal interpretation of the phrase at this point in my life. It would mean something much different: something along the lines of becoming one with all my sensory feedback, and choosing the flow-structure of that interaction.

Excellent survey.

These other definitions apply to me as well. The most common however is maintaining a train of thought after a distraction.

Some of my favorite people are gathering here.

As in native american shaman?? I've met a shaman before. He told me that the person who called herself white lightning was not using an authentic name. He gave me the name Tashia (inner light) after showing me a method of streaming chi through the head.

Sometimes I do. Sometimes I don't. I always get rides quick, for great lengths, and sometimes by accident, to my destination instead of the drivers. I even once had someone give me money for a choice of bus or a room for the night (without being hit on). That was one of my favorite tests of faith, traveling with a dollar to my name. I met excellent spiritual teachers along the way. And had a good experience settling in LA,CA,US afterwards.

When I was driving in Boulder Creek (Santa Cruz County) CA,US I often picked up a few hitch-hikers daily. Once on that windy mountain I caught a ride from someone visiting from Brazil. Holy ... This person short-cutted through oncoming lanes on blind corners. ..laughing all the way, while we discussed architecture and such. He said it was normal where he came from, and that pedestrains waved a white flag if they wanted to cross the street.

Many reasons:

I thought it was funny,

I thought people were paranoid,

I wanted people to call me or vice-versa,

but mostly I wanted SC folk to take a step further out of their shells and actually call each other. Apparently, people here aren't ready for that yet, if ever.

I can say this much, no one ever calls me. Your fears about giving out information on the net are unjustified paranoia. Phonebooks are full of people with phone numbers. Giving out your number here will only increase your chances of being called by someone else at SC, not from elsewhere. There is no one here that I wouldn't like to talk to once. With all the hours people spend here, I kind of think we owe it to each other to say hello once. Some of us might even find we like talking to each other.

Just trying to improve peoples lives.

(sidenote) This last Saturday on my way to a night club in San Diego, I had what would best be described as a moment of clarity. It went on for most of the night, and was *so* refreshing! It's like if you've been on a drug that halfs your awareness(like tons of Benedryle) for a year or two, and then one night you don't take it. Pure tranquility!

Same experience, same time. In my case I did stop taking Depakote and had an explosive reaction to my life. I realized that I had been complacently going to sleep, not accomplishing anything, and not caring about it. Prescription apathy is not a cure for depression. Without the drug cloud even drifting to sleep or being depressed have a fresh vivid sense of vitality that surpasses being hopeless but not minding.

This world would be full of cubicles of people eating food-product & using an excercise machine, and employed 6 hours a week on the food-product assembly line if we didn't have goals and desires. I imagine the 7 of you who said none of these, would at least like to maintain your current habits like using SC, feeling the wind or whatever you do. Lack of desire is entropy, unless you go on auto-pilot, in which case there remains the question what desired the environment & circumstances you drift through.

Last night I watched a movie about making porno movies. Today a stranger on the street near my doctor in Hollywood suggested I try out for some porn filming down the street.

I realized after talking to you that I got fired for the same reason. I was responsible for modifying highly critical code that the rest of our application depended on. I was filling the seat of my predecessor who wore a trench coat and construction helmet to work who wrote the highly impressive code (elegant structure). My senior programmer who I developed a crush on during the interview (mutual? I stopped talking to her after I got hired because I didn't want to risk another sexual harrassment case) had modified the code to death so the underlying branching structure was lost even upon her. I spent 10 hours fixing the object (5 levels of inheritance deep) and embedding lots of documentation so the other programmers could understand the code, even if she couldn't. I lasted a week after that. She was the companies princess. She could see 80% of a problem, 10 times faster than me, but I could see the whole picture. I can see how a company would prefer her. I didn't make fun of her, but I wasn't going to let my module or the the code my colleagues go down because of her. She rewrote my revision because her code wouldn't work afterwards. After that everyone else's code failed, and she blamed artifacts of my revision. She may have also been jealous, because after I started, the programmers came to me for advice instead of her. Anyhow, who do you think the Vice President believed. He said I wasn't a 'team player', when the only person I didn't work marvelously with was the senior programmer on our team.

It's not about job skills, it's work politics, and some of us are slow at that kind of thing.

The lesson learned at that job & the prior - Stay away from super intelligent, extremely cheerful, ravishingly gorgeous women with smoke fuming in their eye's.

I thought I caught some banana slugs, but it turned out to be something else.

I have based many of my artworks on toilets. The last one was a faux urinal wall where the urinal had been ripped out. I simulated lath & plaster behind the missing tiles, various hardwater & oxidized metal stains, a contoured floor with drain, the plumbing, and over the wall I grafittied "This is not Art". Du Champs would have been proud.

Ce n'est pas une toilette. And there wasn't much dada in it.

I went a step farther. The next piece was simply a card on the wall with artist: "Kristal McKInstry", title: "This is not Art"' and Media: "None".

I suppose the prior piece was also personally symbolic, since I don't use urinals anymore.

The travel of soul energy, especially in nether worlds. Horus and the history of time/matter consciousness. Metaphysical and sympathetic magic secrets being kept alive through the dark ages by witches who were persecuted by institutions who claimed that miracles were no longer in the domain of the people, and that personal identity with God was sacreligious.

Caw - Caw !

I'm not sure if I'll post it or not...I'll think about it. Some strange things are happening to me. I had what you might call a visitation last night around 4AM my time. They were noisy and wanted me to wake up and listen to them. I sensed lights being turned on and off and my subconscious mind came away with a message even though my conscious mind said "Let me sleep!" I came away with a short story idea better than any I've ever had.

Describe the lights.

I had my eyes squeezed shut tightly in an attempt not to be disturbed...It appeared only as brightness and darkness as if someone turns lights on and off when you have your eyes closed....

Wow. I was about to say I've never had that one, and it doesn't sound that significant, but I remembered I just had that one a day or two ago while tring to sleep myself. Shutting your eyes tightly could still be physiological-perceptual. Have you ever focused so intensely that everyting else just grayed away. or even blacked or watered away. I heavily studied optical perception science. On the other hand, I also have a decent exposure to mystic sight. I can barely and seldom see peoples aura's, but I once decided that mine was green and purple after tring on several varieties (couldn't see it though) while riding to my friends. At the moment of my arrival, she had a guest exclaim that I had an intense green and purple aura, but that it was constantly shifting, and that wasn't good. I had one woman sculpt a designer aurora for me that I could see. Sometimes I see the air raining light in different colors - so far gold, white, and lavendar - I've also seen clouds of red, perhaps too often for my taste. I saw huge blasts of white light when I wished away some hovering helicopters.

Cool, I can imagine that. I suppose I'll see it someday.

Too much logic can get you to a point where you have to examine your day's diet to figure out if you're hungry. Such thoughts might get you to understand the ultimate nature of reality, but even that won't satisfy the quest for knowledge. One thing I figureh out is don't suppress your thought's if you're tempted to have thoughts you don't want in your head, let them parade past without contributing creativity or significance, otherwise you empower them.

Glad to hear that. Bottom up thinking. I've always done top down thinking; Basing immediate decisions on theoretical long term goals based on motives based on my conception of the purpose of ultimate reality. I've gotten to a theosophical point where I'm not sure that it matters whether I'm a poor spiritual teacher or a rich cartoonist. I have a choice now to make my decisions based on continuing ego-centrism or still pursue idealistic purposes. I'm stagnating now trying to integrate the two, though that had always worked in the past.

No, but I have done the coin on the railroad tracks thing. Wait, I could combine these two! I could glue a coin to a railroad track! That would sure confuse the train!

Oh great bill, next you'll be suggesting gluing dollar bills in high traffic areas.

Actually, what I want to do is put a life like baby doll on the road in high traffic areas, maybe in a pool of blood -- then see if anyone stops.

*LOL* Bill: I've seen it much too often. It was a hobby of mine, my younger brother's, my youger cousin's, and someone in my conceptual art class.

In class, one student did a performance piece in which he was a jungle soldier discovering he had slaughtered a baby. He didn't think to inform campus police first, so when they found him rehearsing in the shrubbery with full camoflage and fake macheté & machine gun, he got damaged.

For halloween I dropped a realistic dummy off the porch onto the sidewalk with a noose around it's neck. My bro & cousin later made a hobby of putting a similar dummy wrapped around a mangled bicycle on the road and watching from underneath a car. Later they got more sophisticated and had a dummy suspended by wire running across the highway. They got a beefy sports car to hit the thing, after which it burned rubber out of there. Alas, I've got more horror stories like this from my childhood.

Sorry Richard, doesn't appear anyone even gets the concept. One formula that could be used for ranking is (votes x approval), but I suspect the greatest indicator of favorability is the number of comments. Another elaborate method would be: Rank by which surveys are liked by people who like surveys like me. This would probably be the most accurate indicator if your interests are personal, not academic.

I came up with that system long ago as a means of finding fiction at the library. I hear Amazon.com like places use such a system now, but I've yet to stumble upon it.

Someone is really hung up on those shampoo commercials.

It's a lot dull. If your trying for this kind of survey how about:

"Is your hot throbbing mouse looking for options?"

"Which SC guests get you slippery?"

"I'm home alone doing things with candy; which of these do you think is my phone number?"

"Do you need SC on screen just to get off with your partner?"

"Does any one here have nude photos they want to share?"

"When you answer surveys, do you type with both hands?"

"How sexually active are you, right now.?"

"Do you answer surveys while being struck by lightning with a cow's penis up your ass?" (you'd have to be an SC old-timer to appreciate that one).

I only had trouble with two of these. The lactating woman scene, and that would be OK if the policy was posted; and the blind phone salesperson, if he had tools to compensate. People should be free to associate with whom they choose, though it would be a disgrace to see us revert to 'separate but equal' ethics. People should be well informed of any institutions that discriminate, so they could boycott the place.

I think the big discrimination is affirmative action. Why give an unqualified person something just because of sex or race. We have and will turn into mediocrity, lose high standards. I feel an immigrant has to learn to blend to the nation they are in, such as learn the language, follow the laws, respect their culture and moral code. If I were to go into another country such as France, Mexico or wherever, I would not expect them to change everything for me. I would learn their language, respect their laws and culture. I expect the same from immigrants that come into this country.

Satan is really hard at work, for he is the god of confusion. Why would, we as a people, want this confusion? This is what many of the wars in other countries are about, the mixing of the races/religions. Some may call me a racist, so be it, I want practicality. To me, it does not make sense to create an environment of problems, i..e. mixing the races, religions, sometimes gender. This nation unforunately is or is becoming a secular nation. I think it is okay for men to have men's clubs, what is wrong with that, nothing!.... What is wrong with requesting a male, or female, or a white doctor, if you're white? I, being a woman prefer having a female doctor, for obvious reasons, in certain areas of medicines, while I prefer men in other areas. I personally prefer a white doctor, because I generally feel they are more competent, and I can understand them.... As for nannies, I would absolutely prefer a woman for a nanny, of course, there are probably exceptions, but generally I would prefer a well qualified, mature, kind, white Christian woman.

As for an immigrant learning the language of the land, absolutely, they should learn it or leave! If they choose not to, to be able to communicate, let them go back to their homeland, we don't need rebellion.... Maximum/minimum heights for some jobs only makes sense, also certain jobs I feel require only a man's strength.... Also, I believe having private schools is fine. I think parents should have a choice of sending their children to a school to be taught what they want them to be taught and not necessarily what the government and subversives want the children to be taught. Home schooling is great as it gives Christians a chance to teach their children good values along with their other studies....

As far as a pregnant woman nursing in public, I feel, she should use some discrimination herself and want some privacy and go to a private place. When I nursed my children, I went to a room out of the view of others, out of consideration for other people and for my privacy.... I do not believe in compensating anyone for past discrimination or what they perceive as a discrimination, because if that is the case, we as a white people can line up to be compensated also. The white people of this country made this the great country that it is and now there are those that want what we have and have come to steal it through litigation.... Yes, I think a producer has a right to ask for a certain race/gender for a certain acting role when it pertains to history especially. You shouldn't mess with history. There are certain roles that have been customarily given to whites, I would not like to see, for instance, a black or asian playing Cinderella, a black playing the role of George Washington and so on. I say, why can't other ethnic groups create their own characters?.... I don't quite understand why a blind man/woman couldn't do telephone work. I would think they could, if properly trained, do the job well. I know there are those evil ones that want to destroy the European, Anglo, culture, but so many of the immigrants really want this culture or they wouldn't be flocking to this country in droves. Due to my spiritual, Biblical beliefs, I am adamantly against intermarriage, interbreeding. It only causes confusion. I'm saying these things because I know there are those that want to destroy this great white nation, we are God's chosen children, we are a spiritual nation. The 10 tribes of Israel have been traced! The white Christians of this nation have been traced as being a part of the House of Israel. The evil ones want to lead us into a one world system, to globalize. To steal our heritage. If you are a Christian, or even if you are not a Christian read the books of Daniel and Revelation. Look at the "beast" as described in the Bible. Prophesies are unfolding before our eyes.

Only when God comes and we are led under his government can we live a happy life.

Thank you msgman & smurf:

I was going to entitle you to your own opinion without much argument until I got to the white doctor being more competent - they take the same exams, if their education was substandard, that would be due to impoverishment and discrimination; and who's fault would that be? I am quite fond of my black doctor, though I would prefer a buxom redhead. Intelligence, warmth, and communication have nothing to do with appearances, though admittedly people have different cultural upbringing they can relate to. Some people apparently prefer to reduce their cultural exposure.

But, GREAT WHITE NATION? God wasn't here prior to the tribes of Israel? Like in the garden of Eden? (or do you prescribe to descendants of Cain or Lilith theories) Hitler killed Jews. Which was closer to the genetic stock of ancient Israel?

You must think slavery was OK. What entitles the whites of this nation to more credit than the blacks who were here just as long, or for that matter, to the native Americans who were here longer? You complain that blacks are cast as Cinderella. They have no choice since slave traders and owners wiped out their own cultural heritage and folklore. Most of what you complain about was created by people who think like you in the first place, but for reasons unknown, can't see it. I'd say by your reckoning that the Islam nation has more right to consider themself God's genetic choice than any stock descended from Romans who were only taught Christianity by African/MidEast teachers.

There is certainly no place in the bible where the US would be specified as God's nation. Perhaps everyone who thinks like you should be deported to some deserted island in Borneo, which you can call your great white nation while the rest of us live in harmony laughing at prison settlement in which you'd probably evolve into some God's chosen Ezekiel tribe at war with the God's chosen Daniel tribe.

If it was just you with these beliefs, I would laugh in pity. But history has shown you're not alone, and I'd hate to see another holocaust.

I hope you've examined all these issues with a full heart. I'd hate for you to be confused.

Mostly, I looked at objects in my my house or my agenda list, and let my mind free associate. I've done most of these things so it wasn't tough. Part of the time I just went into ether, imagining things others have done that I have not. I have a great imagination and ability to free associate. On the other hand I could probably create an immense survey on golf, submarine life, or dealing blackjack tables, though I have no experience with any of these. I always got A+++ on papers I wrote for english or social-studies, because I have a knack for envisioning what it would be like to be anywhere from the dark ages to the Mayan Empire.

Electrocuted doesn't mean till death, oops, apparently it does.

Well, perhaps I can still answer yes.

In the fifth grade my teacher had a hand cranked 120v. generator. He had all of us form a hand-holding ring circuit. Every time it got too much for someone, they dropped out, and the shock was greater for the rest of us. My seventh grade teacher had us do the same thing using wall current. I lasted most, but not all the way. By highschool I had thin bare 120v. rigged all over my room to discourage my brother from entering. I rigged a suicide device 7 years ago by suspending a two foot metal stake from the 20 foot ceiling with a release trigger. The stake was attached to 240v. current, just to make sure. Now I get the sensation of strong electrical shock during my meditation attempts at merging minds with God.

I suppose you had a problem with the government making school attendance mandatory during an age when industrialists found that kids are the cheapest labor. And the rights of those industrialists and child laborers were also greatly infringed by minimum wages. Those constitutional rights you speak of originally were intended only for land owning adult men. Not slaves, women, children, or even the poor. By your logic children should be allowed to carry guns.

Oh, this is hilarious. Sequel, sorry to tell you, but although you're correct in practice, admission for services as an adult can entail some fine print about your care and guardianship. In practice though, even raving lunatics are free to roam the streets. I speak for public mental health / clinical psychology in LA,CA,US which concentrates on prescriptions. I have never even visited a hospital facility.

These responses would entirely be the subjective pre-conceptions of the survey taker. In my experience it seems that such an evaluation is entirely up to the doctor, regardless of what DSM-IV & the spectrum tests have to say. Most of the doctors I deal with don't consider ones involvement in the interactive aspects of the logos, the super-normal, or mystic realms to be pertinent to diagnoses or treatment, even though DSM-IV would label this as 'Magical thinking' or 'Schizo affective borderline personality - manic type'.

Egypt would be about right. We wouldn't destroy there culture as much as New Guinea, and would be in the center of afro-eur-asia. Have you ever played Risk? It clearly demonstrates how simply being a geographic gateway creates political mayhem.

None would be better.

Other would be better yet - the UN would launch an international collective popular vote country which any war or economy shattered country would be free to join.

I'd like to think that I could choose a country with huge debt, massive medical problems and illiteracy so the US could help out, but I don't think the US would help out, because the US itself has massive medical problems and illiteracy and the government doesn't seem to see it as a problem worth fixing.

I made both of the same conclusions. On the other hand it wouldn't hurt for us to take on mexico. Perhaps people would be more likely to realize then that local economy has a lot more now to do with international business decisions. The real answer at this point is to put global companies at the mercy of global popular vote by those who do not own stock in the company.

0 - Macaw

1 - Raven

2 - Parrot

3 - Eagle

4 - Hawk

5 - Owl

The macaw is the only one I've seen use language conversationally; parrots only mimic. If the birds of prey are smarter, they don't have a chance to demonstrate it through tool usage and such. Some birds, I forget their names, are tool users in nature.

Ah, but the ravens do reap: There was an evening when I was full of fairy dust (I believe I inherited it from my SO, who just inherited much from her step mother who just died in view a block away). I kissed some of this to a raven sitting on the roof who stunned me by gulping enormous amounts like a black hole. For the next two weeks I was automatically behaving at home in a fashion like my SO would have, using sympathetic energy to determine everything from diet to ceremony. I had no idea what I was messing with at the time and am now hesitant to be involved in such stuff ever since we both had the experience of our souls draining and she blamed me and terminated our 2 year soulmate relationship.

On the other hand, the experience is captured in the "Reach Me" icon at my site.

You describe sprezzatura. I've done it and recommend it. When I was hungry, There would be a lunch left for me at my feet. I would find an interesting place to sleep at the last minute every night. I did nothing but play harmonica and converse. After threee weeks of this, I came to realize I was blowing in the wind in a variety of Tiphareth consciousness, that all I needed was food and warmth, that those would always be provided as long as I came to the lord for sustenance, and that 98% of what generally had occupied my mind was excess.

But still I chose to resume that consciousness, knowing more about it's actual nature. The day after I made that decision I was placed in a showcase shelter, and placed on SSDI while I concentrated personally on resuming my work as a programmer.

I'm not surprised. They follow me too, though I hiked up a hill at my local park (in LA,CA) and had the joy of seeing a hawk soar below me. I've also wished we had more colorful birds here and the next day a flock of parrots flew overhead (I see them at other rare occasions wild in the city too). Ravens nest in my yard, as do doves.

How do yours sound. My locals go Caw-Caw. But when I was in Alaska, I tried conversing with ones there with a large repertoire, rdhrdhrdhrdhrdh-awww rdhrdhrdhrdhrdh-awww was one of their most popular. It sounded much happier, less harsh & foreboding than the locals.

As long as there was no insistence, it would be a pleasure. Chances are though that anyone who hooked up with me liked my tastes in the first place. Also, I've found that trying to please anyone while playing the defensive is doomed to failure. I wouldn't change to anything I didn't like myself, but I always like to try on new looks.

You folks have it easy. I constanly play with the question "would you change your anatomy for your SO"? I want a sex change, but if I was with a woman who wanted me to keep my anatomy, without considering me male, I probably would, because I can make my experience feminine, while she might prefer that deep gush. On the other hand, If I get permanent with a guy, there's no question - operation.

HEY, do those fortune cookies in the IntelliHealth banner look like a torso to you to?

Back when I was a guy, I was outraged that store owners would treat me with suspicion when carrying a backpack and dressed a bit shabbily though clean, while on the other hand people addressed me as sir when wearing a suit and carrying an attaché.

I would call that common sense. Don't get too pissed about stuff like that. Stress is very bad for you.

I don't anymore, I was a different person then. I have a fantastic rapport with everyone I meet on the streets now, and even if I didn't, I'm much more forgiving about peoples superficiality (they know not what they do). It wasn't the reaction to the poor look that bothered me, it was the contrast later, when I became a suit. Since the suit cost me only $6 and was really cool, I later adopted the philosophy that I could congratulate people on their looks, once I realized that they were accessible to anyone who wanted them, even if they were living on rice and hand picked berries as I was then. That suit was a big break; I went from a wannabe at a floundering Citroën garage to attending technology shows and talking to engineers in person, and negotiating with COO's of big companies like logitech, adobe, coke, & disney all because I changed my self-conception (& got access to a computer, fax, & long distance service (moved in with parents)).

Micah: You mentioned wishing people would listen to your ideas (on global social/technical utopia?). My advice is redefine yourself. I got to the phase mentioned by considering myself a colleague of those leaders, not just a peon with brilliant common sense. Even then, I found I had te redefine myself as a peer to higher forces, and fore-go personal recognition. {motive test} but at least I get what I want to happen now (actually I always did, I just thought I had to be personally physically engaged in it before). Also contemplate the big picture of what you want. Is utopia what we need? What is it? Who is it for?

I want to push people along the path, faster than they want to go. I've recently been skyrocketed forward with my recent breakup with my girlfriend, and can totally feel my spirit flying, but I'm still sad. That proves itself as a gauge, to tell me just how connected I really am(how much more climbing I have). My mind keeps telling me to look back down the ladder to those close to me, and I want to throw them a rope before I move on. I choose not to move up without bringing everyone with me. I want to be the light. The biggest difficulty is with my x-girlfriend. It's shocking to think of how much spiritual development she has to go...and of course, my mind plays the part of tagging the situation with a value judgement, and I feel so sad. I want to be her teacher, but must sit on the sidelines and wait it out. I love her so much, and hope that she 'gets it' in this lifetime.

or even need to go. The fatalistic side of mystic vision indicates it's all God, and can only return to such.

But yes, we are here for a century or so, and our thoughts manifest, so we should choose thought &/or action that make the best of our experience. So much is available here.

Re: getting it. I've had the rare privilege of being two persona's in one life, and the funny thing is both persona's would look at the other and say you're missing the point. My prior side emphasized mystical transcendence, knowledge, power, eradication of the ego, & unbiased judgement; my latter experience valued the human experience - emotional relationships, play & delight, appreciation of nature, experience above contemplation. And having now somewhat integrated these extremes I can't make an experiential or philosophical argument on behalf of either. But I do see now that one person's asleep is another person's awake. You and I are both awake, yet are somewhat unfamiliar with each others faculties. I recently broke up with a woman whom I had a deep love for, whom shared many mystical experiences with me, and whom had a vastly greater knowledge of occultism than I. In fact I realize just now. I was a mysticist and she was an occultist. It's amazing what grand excursions we had together considering I believe the world is for our benefit and we are in union with God, while she believed (I think) that Earth is a battlefield and God is not even helping us.

Another perspective that might help you out is to look at the old pantheistic religions: you had war goddesses, time gods, debauchery gods, etc. Translate that to God manifest as our mutual multiple existetialism incarnate form, and you will see that everyone here is providing a story. Some stories are miserable. You have the good fortune of being one with vision, and perhaps you'll be creating microcosms of heaven in your wake, with or without their cognitive pre-consent. But again I ask: Who is it for and why?

then later the trail of heavens subject. Pretty much the same question. Yep, Yep, Yep. Although the latter get's us a bit closer.

All a short lived idea for everyone. Who'd see it anyway? ...or rather, who would choose to see it? They certainly don't see it now. I wish I could explain myself in an understandable fashion when I say that pain is just as beautiful as the pleasure. That it's all just another color in the white of love. Do you see the root of my frustration? I stopped talking like that in 8th grade, and have pretty much kept my mouth shut, and just became the passive observer. People complain about how quiet I normally am, but they don't know that the reason for it is that I know they don't want to hear what I have to say. So be it. My lesson of patience sure is taking a long time! Hurry the %?@ up!

I've seen red, a love on a carrier wave of hatred. It's all white in a sense. But I can't see why anyone would prefer to experience pain, hatred, or misery, though I can present no argument against it in the big picture. To further a prior point, my soulmate also felt I was much lower on the ladder than her, and though to believe her would go against everything I've arrived at in a dozen years of intensive contemplation and experience, I can see how my beliefs would go against everything she studied and correlated with her consequential vastly different life experience. I never got the chance to explain how my belief system explains her experience, while her's does not explain mine. That teaching frustration you mentioned.

I hope you're getting my point. I want to hear much more about your paradigm, but I don't blame J for leaving you based on what you just wrote.

Your answer to my question shows some awareness, but I was hoping for a couple tiers higher. Who told you a compassionate bodhisattva suffers? What does your martyrdom serve? Thoughts are contagious, whether they be of love or hate, or paradise, or purgatory or suffering. If you enjoy silent suffering, keep it in your world, you'll be provided plenty of reason to believe it's warranted. I hope you lose your patience. That rope ladder you wish to dangle below you seems to indicate to me that you have contaminated one realm to create contrast with a higher realm, eventually I think you'll find it preferable to rewrite your lower domains. I think you're where I was at back in 1991, 3 years into my radical awakening which 12 years later is still sinking in, and being creatively applied. I'm glad I had teachers at that point lend me a hand up, even though I took them to be far below me at the time, as they didn't seem to acknowledge my mystical connection.

Perhaps I've read wrong too much from too little.

Make God's experience a good one. Love K

When I was a guy, my choice of desirable women was based more on looks and sexual interest. As a woman, I'm looking almost entirely for romantic sensitive playful charm. Oddly though I admire mens sexuality more now than when I was a guy, I still don't want to be one though. I still don't like it unless it's handled with respectful intelligent subtle play.

I had a dream about a year ago in which I was a captive living in a secret government experimental genetic research center community. We had second brains operating from our wombs. Fortunately these brains came with highly developed psychic centers so we could plot our escape by telepathy.

Sometimes, men's babymaking instinct has an effect on what they do. It is not nearly as bad as womens "babying" instinct. Examples are passing laws "for the sake of the children". And asking "are you hungry" 5 times in 5 minutes. Of course, in addition, most women have the babymaking instinct too.

Had to think about that one. I have much more baby-making instinct as a woman, but I can recall I had one in the past (in bed). On the other hand, when I'm checking out a guy one of my main criteria is how good a dad would this guy be; that wasn't a criteria when I was checking out women long ago, but it would be now.

No, I prefer getting them from anonther country What do you mean consider? The thought's been triggered, but I don't go there. Even if I liked the idea, I wouldn't act on it. I've had the idea and analyzed it: It loses it's appeal when you actually visualize it, so I must conclude it's not a physical attraction, but an emotional abstraction. That being the case, I speculate it's about pure lust, removed from distraction of cooperating with another fully developed psyche. When I was 30, I found in my dance class the women I was most sexually attracted to turned out not to be 24, but 18. An interesting survey would be "which age is your sexual fantasy preference.?"

How about respect for a persons sense of grounding & control over their own body. It seems to me that any underage woman (13?) having sexual relations with older men, even if she develops sexual prowess, would also grow up with a sense of gender victimization, even if she felt her choices as a teen were her own.

I was in total disbelief, and having difficulty trying to absorb the behavior of my neighbors. My six year old neighbor girl was dancing an extremely pelvic dance and chanting "feel the heat" while her adult sisters cheer and grandmother who is usually a pure discipline tyrant, smiled on. These people have never shown signs of affection towards each other, parental, sibling or otherwise; just about every sort of fun seems criminalized; yet they have no problem with the ludest behavior from early childhood. I don't get it, but it horrifies me.

I don't notice what I'm eating, and get distracted from sex because I'm always trying to figure something out. If I see any novel product or concept, I immediately embark upon imagining what it's next evolution will be. If I read something historical, I will be busy mapping it to all similar historical & spiritual occurrences. I remember walking on a date a decade ago and she asked what I was thinking during the last minute, and I was able to relate half a dozen topics.

Spruce lager, Chocolate-Raspberry-Doppelbock, Floral-spice-pyment, Rootbeer, and when a batch wasn't quite up to snuff, I added mints and distilled a nice schnapps.

Another fun project is steeping a vat of dried fruit in hard liquor which can then be used for chocolate dipped hor d'ouevres or in fruit salads.

That's a bit what I did for l'eau de vie, its fresh raspberries in 190 proof alcohol and a bit of water, its going to be about 60%!!! :)

Are you measuring the specific gravity (with one of those fish tank bobber like things) or estimating by volume?

Making stills is fun. The easiest one is to take a pressure cooker and replace the rocker with a clear vinyl hose running through a pitcher of ice water. Discard the first third ounce, then keep distilling till the alcohol content is too low. If using open gas use a long hose. When I was a teen I was distilling with a condensation plate leaning on a tea kettle - on an open flame stove. Suddenly I was engulfed in flames as all the airborne alcohol caught fire. It didn't hurt at all, but it sure caught my attention.

I'm mensa material, but don't consider that pertinent to parenting or breeding. I haven't tested in a dozen years. I once wrote long ago a poem titled "What the mensa society writes in sobriety from highrise lined pavement inclines." It was about vertigo and deconstructionism.

Took some online IQ tests last night. Still a genius. Those tests are so lame. I've yot to try the new variety, but all the old ones measure is pattern matching algorithms, a body of knowledge of patterns and popular categorizations, a limited demonstration of associations and metaphor usage, and the ability to second guess the test authors, for instance presuming the correct answer is the most fundamental least common denominator that can be demonstrated with the sample.

A real IQ test would measure ones awareness and ability to comprehend novel paradigms. But then again, it's the same old thing: Music, astral realm navigation - it's still applying existing template permutations.

Poetry demonstrates intelligence.

We could booby trap things. Cars would have touch screens with graphical IQ tests for steering and braking. ATM machines would drop 20 ton weights on you instead of delivering money if didn't answer a question correctly. They could even force everyone to wear chastity belts with built in IQ testing.

Don't say such a thing! Some idiot won't know you're joking, and he'll be a congressman!

In LA, the IQ test is drinking water. They send you a full water report, and if you scrutinize it you realize that they're telling you that it's five times over the safe levels of just about everything except aesthetics in which it is 66% of limit (it's still often slimy & smells like sewage). If you still drink the water, well.. the report also mentions airborn radioactivity from using showers. If you're still living in LA, well..

Actually I still am because I can't bring home water on my bike with my bad back, and can't afford it. But then the report also mentions that the bottled water comes from the same sources. (it tastes much better, so presumably it's much better treated). The water here is recycled as are the waste solids. They won't mention that on TV but it's in the report.

8+ stops. Mostly as a teenager. 4 tickets. On my honeymoon entered Utah to get a friendly warning speeding citation. Was once pulled over in town and told of at least half a dozen things wrong with my car (& he didn't know my speedometer/odometer wasn't working). That was when I had been up for 72 hours doing volunteer theater work. He didn't write me up for anything, but by the time I made it home up those mountain roads orange reflectors were multiplying and a sea of crows was parting like the red sea in front of me.

Got pulled over drunk on my bike a year ago after a wedding. The officers chatted with me for awhile then had me walk my bike home with no ticket. It was hilarious; they carried on like a formal inquisition though they were really asking about how I get along with a transgendered lifestyle.

It's my ex-girlfriends all night antique store where we drink champagne, and her suitors buy antiques or work on her classic mercedes. It borders on heaven and hell. She herself has been likened to a hawk. She plays the eagles when not playing old 30's 'sweet dreams' tunes. Anything someone wants, she has it there. Unless you expect to find it, in which case if you find it anyhow, she will give you some excuse like someone else has dibs on it. Alas, she has a habit of being evicted and refuses help. She dresses in 30's Vogue or 60's Fredericks of Hollywood. She has a pure heart but an immense cladding of pure shallow materialism.

I make them. I have one made from an old 'Orange Crush' soda bottle in a fixture I painted orange with green speckles sitting on an orange & green striated stone base. It has a chicken wire lotus bloom at the base which supports a surrounding bouquet of bamboo. The fluid is orange and the wax is lime with gold sparkles. I have made other varieties of lava lamp too. When you make them yourself you can engineer their personality ie how active they are, the way they congeal, and how fast they get moving.

There are sites which tell how to make Tesla coils from old black and white televisions. Actually I've never made one. Today I should throw out my last computer monitor, which actually I was saving to make a regenerative breaking system for my bicycle: Instead of applying brakes, you apply alternator which creates high voltage that tears water into proper proportion of clean burning hydrogen & oxygen for use in combustion motor. Much more energy storage than flywheel or battery. I came up with the idea years ago while bicycle touring. The car companies independently came up with the same idea. It would be the next logical extension of the hybrid car. Now they can save brake power from stopping at intersections; with this they could save power generated from coasting down the rockie mountains.

I don't follow you. You seem to be sceptical about something. I'm not sure whether that's 1) the idea working 2) my having coming up with it 3) finding someone beat me to the idea (I got it in 96 or 97. My research shows Lawrence-livermore labs had a more advanced technique called the fuel cell back in 1991).

A couple weeks after I came up with the idea I was around a radio (having been bicycle touring) to hear an announcement that Chrsyler had come up with a similar system, but I never heard about it again which is why I did the research (make sure it wasn't an auditory halucination) after which I was going to e-mail survey-central user MilkTree who was one of the founders of Honda Motors. It turned out to be a moot point like every other idea I come up with (and I come up with hundreds of technical innovations yearly). I out-did that system with a means by which refridgeration & AC will produce electricity instead of consume it. I proved Fermat's last theorm within 20 minutes of hearing of it, and plan to post it on my site. Andrew Wiles, math head at Princeton claims to be the first in 300 years to solve it, but I believe he is wrong. I did a couple IQ tests last night that placed me at genius level, and my mistakes were typos, not missing the pattern concept.

Or are you speaking on the mystic level about my recent focus, astral travel utilizing Gohanzon worship of Nichiren SGI-Buddhism?

Likewise I feel I know more about what will work in nano-technology than Drexler. My most recent idea is intelligent fission power.

You are speaking to someone who read the entire engineering section at the local library by the age of eight.

*LOL* My style of speech 2 comments back was a bit 'Japanese Pilot'.

It's been a dozen years since I've encountered descriptions of any technology I hadn't thought of myself, and I'm an avid reader. Well, come to think of it the existence of rocks with DNA & proteins in 1972, and their application in human gene testing, fructose manufacture, and interplanetary propogation studies by jpl all kind of threw me for a loop.

Give me any technical concept or device, and I'll tell you it's future manifestations, or at least which ones will be possible, if not popular.

Yes and no. Tax should be based on everything after a standard deduction and charities. In fact the tax return form should be on-line and post up to the minute reports of government and non-profit budgets. People would allocate their taxes/charities to which ever cause they supported whether that be water conservation, space exploration, or local dance repertories. Everything they wished to keep above this would be subject to exponential taxation. People could elect to distribute their charities to intermediaries like NOW or Greenpeace.

The flat tax is only fair in a purely material realm. A poor person will spend a higher proportion of their income on shoes or medical expenses. The highest wealth can afford the most lucrative 10 year investment strategies not accessable to those with less money. In other words the flat tax is a 'the rich get richer' system. The 30 wealthiest people on this planet have an economic worth equivalent to the entire lowest 3 billion people.

A#2 You have the only immediately workable fair solution here. Let's not forget profits from investments and trading. At what point does an individual like Hearst or Morgan become an enterprise unto them self. What about those who isolate themself through a 'foundation'. A year ago I worked for a man living on his social security benefits even though his walls were covered with millions of dollars worth of art (Chagalls, Picassos, Rembrandts, etc.) which belonged to the foundation he established. At the time I found it intense and somewhat outrageous. Now, I'm kind of thinking, 'why not?'. I think the key to ethics here is 1) Are we truly providing equal opportunity people regardless of their station of birth, and 2) Can people progress materially without creating hardship to others. The latter could only be partially true if income, supply, and demand did not create inflation of basic survival, education, and recreation goods and services. This seems to prove true when just a few have immense wealth: Though Bill Gates has 30 billion, he can only eat so many popsicles and the price has remained low. On the other hand, look at the income level at which people own property. If all those now making 15k made 45k, you would see the cost of popsicles rise. The Jini index has to reach a point where no further inflation will occur for 2 year old computer technology or blenders. To see the Jini index fall to a point where people have a near equal opportunity to purchase property seems unfathomable at this point. Bill is almost a samaritan, purchasing art instead of property.

How would you handle local representation with global companies? What if one community wants to live in tin shacks selling home made jelly, and another want's wall televisions and genetic engineering?

I got your first point long ago. and I agreed it was a neat bill. I'm moving on, expanding the dialogue topic to it's correlative concern - localisation and distibution of taxes. In your proposal are all taxes fed into a collective fund at the federal level then distributed per capita over geography? For instance would the libraries, schools, and stadiums be just as nice in Alabama as Palo Alto even if the average person in Alabama is employed in a cottage industry and the average Palo Alto resident is employed in high demand high-tech? Just asking. And the converse of that. What about people in Alabama not spending on high cost products & services as is the trend in Palo Alto? Could a micro-climate like a native reservation reap national taxes without themselves having an economic based economy?

Ah then, again like my own thinking. Immediate popular vote from within concentric circles of relevance: People in the neighborhood vote on what flowers and trees will be planted on the street corner, Making Kenya or Madagascar a world wildlife preserve would require a global vote. These elections would occur weekly on the net or through voice menus. It would be our civic obligation to spend x hours per month in civic involvement. People would volunteer to vote on committees of their chosen interest. George may choose to vote implementations of global water reclamation while Judy votes on specifications for libraries. Imagine how nice our world would be if everyone contributed 7 hours per month on it's welfare. People would believe in the taxes when they felt they had a personal commitment to how they were spent.

Your formula would have much to reflect. It would cost more to develop some regions than others.

Do you really think the average person making 200k/yr has been working ten times harder than the average person making 20k/yr?

I would think that rather, they were born into greater opportunity, or had a mind set more suited to playing the system. ..Neither of which I I would personally condone as criteria for earnings. The person washing dishes 14 hours a day works as hard as the person scraping through med school. What's your idea of having worked hard?

Kristal_Rose & benzzo: I'm interested in where you got the notion that salary should be based on how hard someone works, on not on, say, their value to the company or their society?

Sequel, you're stepping into a snare I set-up for someone else. There you go presuming to know my bias like you did on the 'zero privacy act' qualifying survey. I you had read my comments here you could discern I support a communist flat rate for income with job hours based on supply & demand and a separate libertarian negotiation economic system to determine labor/skill allotment to employers based on value. Your comment could be used to break Benzzo's argument.

She obviously didn't see it either. She was directly against equal opporunity in education, or had the misguided notion that her poor neighbors could somehow make 10 times their income the moment they wanted to. I have seen the discrepancies between students in Oakland & Moraga. In Oakland, 3rd graders can't count to 20; in Moraga 6th graders are choosing colleges & preparing for SAT's. Getting an oakland student into a better school is harder than stealing a police car.

I've been raised by both. I've had the 2 story penthouse over the beach, the racing plane, the boat, the frequent Bahamas or ski trips. I didn't have that in high school though. I wasn't taught that there was a reason to get good grades, that I was going to have to go through all sorts of hoops and learn financing if I wanted more than community college; things middle class people teach their children, and rich people don't have to. I guess the actual truth of it is that I'm a bit bitter because I'd like to own a home and have a job that challenges my mind and serves society. Unfortunately, though I am a high genius and intesely creative, I'm also about 10 times as slow in production, though I struggle immensely. I've always been a good teacher and can solve the toughest problems, but make terribly quantiful detail mistakes. Most jobs of high conceptual abstraction involve working your way up to the top through production or politics. I've tried just about every psych med related to manic depression available to no avail. I have forecast vast quantities of technological advancements and all my paid computer programming work was pioneering advancements, yet none of my employers ever used my work since I flipped burgers or restored exotic cars. It's left me with the impression that my karma is not to work or earn. Likewise, I've tried handing large companies new product concepts. Instead I ended up giving them away with no compensation. It's been frustrating, being this odd mix of brilliant and useless. I tend to spend two days planning something that would take me or a company three years to create, then move on to another topic. I feel quite constrained having to think on the same subject twice or for any length of time. I don't even like to do something once I've figured out how to do it (been there, done that syndrome). Basically I like to be thinking at light speed or shut down. The drugs I've taken (the prescriptions) have only promoted shut down. I'd prefer to find something that promoted the other side while sustaining my attention. I have found a drug that does that but it's not legal unless you live in certain states and have glaucoma or something. I solved Fermat's last theorm with that one.

I am a high genius and read most of the engineering section at my local library when I was 8 years old, but I am too scatter brained, and perhaps too socially/politically oblivious/unsavvy to hold a job. I got mostly B's in school, though I bet I retained several fold more than many people getting A's. I didn't care about what my grades were; I didn't think it would matter. I've made sure my kids are better informed than I was on how the system works.

To be honest, it didn't matter. I landed jobs based on my expertise and an AA, going up against folks with masters degrees.

Well geez, what does a guy say to that?

Could you be any more egotistical? ("I am a high genius")

Not much, unless you've escaped the same position and have advice. I was merely raving for my journal and a glint of hope that someone might expand their conception of how varied peoples mindsets are, and that the mainstream system isn't an all encompassing solution.

Yes, I am a high egotist.

But the fact remains I have an IQ of 160. Genius is around 132. I wouldn't expect most people here to be familiar with the vocabulary of Mensa percentiles. Would it have been less egotistical to have given a number instead of a word. Either way the point was salient to my position.

you are a rude woman and it is people like you who make our world horrible!! Get off your high horse and find something useful to do with your life!

I try constantly to do something useful with my life. I consider myself outspoken, but not rude. Cite any comment in which I've been rude. Seriously, I've never been called rude or anything closely related before in my life and would like to know if whatever inspired you to make that accusation is something I should consider improving. At the moment I

am in a depressive slump and am hoping I can get myself together to do more volunteer work as I have often done in the past (typically teaching computer programming). At the moment I'm considering an agency called Tuesday's child which helps children of HIV victims. I thought my Tarot site would be the best thing I could do for society, family, & self, but no one is visiting yet. I'm also trying to figure out if I should take up the offer to draw the Simpsons comic. This morning I spent several hours reading on-line classified job ads. One of my main problems is that I'm terribly indecisive; I can spend an hour trying to decide if I should do my nails or make breakfast. And whatever I decide, I change my mind a couple hours later.

Also Monday, I serve on jury duty which I am quite looking forward to as an excuse to get out of the house and be useful. I like to think that the majority of my comments make SC a better place. I have two days to prepare my lecture to the folks at SGI buddhism on the Hindu & Jewish Cabalah metaphysical correllations of the Lotus Sutra. At the moment, I realise that that should be my priority, although I've been planning to go to the beach 'tomorrow' for a couple weeks now.

You should work on not being so egotistical, at least publicly. It makes you look disgustingly arrogant.

Generally I don't think I am. I exaggerated the point in an attempt to reveal my faults. It comes up in equal portion to my despair at my failures. I do consider myself proud rather than humble. I don't care for humble people. I like people who express the greatness of god's creation, especially when that concentrates on what they know of themself. I can find about other things from other sources. It annoys me when someone is full of fascinating life experiences I would love to enrich me, yet they remain silent because they think it is better to be humble. I don't however like unfounded boasting or considering one's gifts make them superior over someone else. I avoided the track meets in school, or any other competitive activity in life except challenging myself for that reason.

anonymous #9 - 9/26/00 7:28 PM

I believe that there should be not tax break for the low income family based on their income but rather other factors such as the number of children a couple.

That could go any direction. Are you planning to reward population growth or punish people who can't see the future.

Make more. Pay more. For both groups it shouldn't be crippling.

iMorpheus, but the question is, should people who make more not only pay more, but pay a higher percentage of their income?

The same percentage is not equally crippling at different income levels. That's the whole basis of the existing US system.

"Equally crippling"?? So that's the basis for stealing money from people, it's ok if it's not "crippling", hmmm. Look, I am by no means rich, but I fail to see why poor people are entitled to rich people's money, provided the rich people earned their bucks honestly. I think that rich people giving directly to charity accomplishes a lot more and is fairer than money being taken from them by the government and then redistributed. I have been in your shoes, ya commie. But I have also been in the work world long enough to be ashamed that hard-working people should be forced to pay for some people to sit on their butts and do nothing. Granted, some people really are in need, and I think we should have some social safety net, but nothing like what we currently have, and certainly not more.

They don't worry about having hamburger or steak. They always eat what they want and go wherever. They have money.

K to sequel - 9/26/00 7:35 PM

I try to operate on sliding scale myself. My fees were based on peoples hourly until I took the advice that no one wants to report how much they make. I can't afford charites though I have a list if I ever get the money. Right now my idea for charity is based on my entertainment expenditures. Occasionallly, I rent a couple videos, and then give an equal amount to the homeless who hang out there. Equally crippling means equal opportunity. My neighbors work two jobs, but they're never going to be able to save for a vacation, let alone college. Crippling was a harsh word, & it merely came up in context here. The term however applies to all taxes. Imagine if instead of the sliding scale, we went the opposite direction and we charged a flat fee of $30,000 per person. You could argue that that was fair being the same for each person, but for some people it's more than they make, and would prevent them from eating, where for other people, it might go unnoticed as a bookeeping error, and certainly wouldn't affect anything happening at their house. Can't you name many people who have much more wealth than you, yet are probably no better at their specialtties than you, and probably didn't work harder that you either? I have friend's who have moved to Guatemala or something to avoid the system, but they can't because the really rich are buying places like Guatemala. I was checking out the want ads in Fairbanks, AK. It was pleasant in that it reflected a blue collar ethic. Unfortunately because of my slipped disc and sciatica, I can't even waitress or hand out bowling shoes. There is one job I could do there, writing the payroll system for the university, but they probably wouldn't hire me because I have 20 years of community college instead of a BA, work in a slow confusion most of the time. If they were willing to pay me a fourth of the salary in compensation for my speed, I would still come out ahead of the waitresses. I would prefer to see some sort of tax system that taxes using money to make money. I would also like to see all work paid equally. Then, if someone wants to work 20 hours a day to buy a ski boat, they are welcome to do so.

I politely disagree with you. You are mixing up your emotional arguments and your rational ones. A flat tax unambiguously treats everyone the same. I would propose that equal treatment means fair treatment.

You talk a great deal about the difficult of certain types of work over others and different people working harder, or equally hard, or less hard etc. Its all very noble of you, but who are you - or anyone - to determine how much any type of work is worth? Supply and demand does it for us naturally. Any attempt to seriously intervene with this natural process would be catastrophic.

The whole give-to-the-poor argument is a caring, passionate argument but not a very well thought out one. Consider: there are those who are excessively rich and those who are excessively poor. Of course, most good people would think "well, the rich don't need it so lets give it to the poor". Two things are forgotten here: first, who is anyone else to decide if someone is too rich or not? Secondly, as soon as we start taking the money away, they lose their incentive to earn such wealth - and then, without that wealth there is nothing to give to the poor! Punishing the rich only makes them less motivated to earn more money, and that means less money for everyone, through taxes, charity or otherwise.

It is only through voluntary redistribution - charity - that everyone can be better off. It isn't perfect, but its the best way there is.

An annual tax of $30k per person unambiguously treats everyone equally too but certaainly isn't fair. That is my sole arguement to the flat vs. scalar tax concern. Mathematically, the flat tax is unfair for the same reason.

As to the more expansive issues -

I don't see it as a give to the poor issue, I see it as stop allowing inclined people to become strategists whose wealth becomes unrelated to providing services for the sustainment of society. Money brokers make several fold that of accountants, lawyers make several ford that of computer instructors. Their salaries are only inflated by competition in their arena. Excluding for the moment folks like bill gates, at best one could argue that their incomes are proportional to their college, which is mostly a matter of financial investment. You didn't address my equality of education issue. And even then, it's not a matter of how hard you studied in college, because if you got your degree in anthropology or early childhood education, you are unlikely to make money. Once I was quite pissed off at headhunter for being pissed at me because I had a choice to call my degree as being in computer science, but opted to call it studio art instead. Besides, it's not really 'supply and demand' anyhow. Fast food restaurants are always looking for help. I don't see nearly the demands for lawyers. If there were as many mechanics, yes the price for lawyers would drop, but there aren't because people can't afford to go to college to become lawyers. No, it's really 'what the market will bear', which though subntle is significantly different in ethics.

I would almost be happy with 'supply and demand' (though never 'what the market will bear') if all instances of 'it takes money to make money' could be removed from society. That is the true cause of the major economic disparities in society.

As to charity -

I've known plenty of people from homeless to middle class, and a few wealthy people. In my personal experience and the experience of everyone I've discussed the topic with so far, charitable giving (as a percentage) is in <b>inverse</b> proportion to wealth. Meaning a homeless person who gives 2 beers from every six pack or any spare clothes is giving 30%; a person making $715 a month & giving $5 mo. in handouts & $5 a month to charities is giving 1.4% (more would mean not eating), When I was working for the United way the average employee grossing 40k was giving $1200/yr or 3%, Bill Gates who has $30 billion, lets the media make a big deal out of his $5 million donation' which is $.016 percent. Coca-Cola is a $16 billion company trying to sound generous offering a $10,000 scholarship.

A desire for money doesn't encourage working harder, only making more money. People in the middle class often have 3 or four weeks a year of paid time off, the lower class can't afford not working like that. Our society doesn't reward working harder, it rewards working smarter, which doesn't mean working wiser on behalf of society, it means being self-centered and opportunistic, usually at the expense of others who lack the capacity or moral vacancy required to be equally opoortunistic. I think the bible had an outstanding piece of social wisdom that could have ended this economic disparity - "thou shalt not charge interest"

Intelligent greedy opportunists, not people who work harder, tend to make more money. I don't consider that fair no matter what the tax structure.

I think this world would have been better off with more high school guidance counsellors than lawyers, and suspect that many lawyers would have made great guidance counsellors if they hadn't been motivated by money.

Ok, where to start. First you keep skirting the issue about "how do you decide what is harder work". Would you elect a panel of experts? Develop a scale of "usefulness to society" Who decides? How do you make people pay more for something because someone else said its worth more? The list goes on and on...

I see now that we can agree that equal treatment is not always fair. I would then argue that equal treatment is the best path to choose, because there is no ambiguity! "Fairness" is subjective, and much much more complicated to define - especially depending on who you are talking to. I think it is a give to the poor issue! Nobody cares how much other people make so long as they themselves are doing okay. The reason everyone's attention has been turned to the rich is because there is so much poverty! Otherwise, what would be the point? It is a question of scarcity of resources; there is only so much money, and it needs to be spread around in a better way, correct?

You have the competition argument backwards. The more people competing for a job, the lower the wage, because the competition will bid down the wage. It is when there is a scarcity of labour or qualified people that wages rise, because employers must pay more in order to secure the labour they need. Thus, the bigger the labour pool(or firms) in an industry, the lower the wages/prices. (On an aside, this is why I can't understand the opposition to globalization initiatives under the auspices of the WTO, IMF etc...these activists are only hurting people EVERYWHERE, since trade barriers jack up prices by limiting competition.

I am not quite sure where you are going with your discussion about college. Of course there is higher demand for people in some disciplines than others! How could you remedy this? As for access, I think in the US the lack of gov't support to schools is a shame. Certainly people should have to pay for postsecondary education, but I'm better off paying US$4000 per year in Canada than US$10-15,000 a year down there!

Your fast food argument again, is backwards. The reason that they are always looking for help is because they pay so little, there is high turnover. At the same time, it is more cost effective for them to deal with such turnover, rather than pay, say, $30 an hour to retain part time employees. The labour pool is large and cheap. Lawyers are more scarce, and even though there may be less demand than there are for fast food workers, there is also a much smaller labour pool or lawyers!

I partly agree with your "market will bear" argument. In many industries, consumers would benefit from a bigger labour pool, but unions restrict the labour pool and inflate wages. The answer then, is less regulation and more freedom, which I am guessing is the opposite of what you propose!

I don't doubt your charity statistics. Regardless, a better use for the money (for society as well as the indiviudal) is for it to be spent by the owner of it! As I said before, people don't make money to swim in large vaults of the stuff. They have to do something with it, and spending it creates jobs for someone somewhere else. Wealth is dynamic, not static.

A desire for more money has harder (or, smarter)working as a byproduct, since to earn more you must work more. Also, what does vacation time have to do with it?

Finally, you made a very keen observation in saying that society rewards those who work smarter and not necessarily harder. Very true. And so it should be! Hopefully the day will come when nobody has to do menial chores, but instead do "smarter" work - more rewarding for them, and more productive for society. Isn't that what work *should* be about anyways, Kristal? If the goal is to serve society at large, smarter work is better for us all because it is more efficient, and we get more done. Just because the motive is not altrustic does not mean that the byproducts of that work won't benefit society! In fact, I think that is the beauty of it; in acting selfishly, society still benefits as a result!

This is an unequal world with every person having different interests, goals, assets, problems, habits, skills, intelligence etc. Any attempts to try to smooth everything down to one level are not only unproductive and infinitely complicated, but quelching, I would argue, what makes us different people! Just like the Earth itself has high and low points so does society - and it will always be that way!

My children will unlikely be rich because I can not afford $10k /yr so they are not going to be able to enlarge that labor pool of lawyers into something that brings the hourly rate of lawyers to $15/hr while the shortage of fast-food cooks increases wages in that field to $15/hr. I take it you were able to afford a 4 year degree or more somehow. I thought I was going to be an architect until my senior year of high school. After that I spent half a year looking for scholarships. Eventually I became a programmer, because that was something I could learn for free.

I don't think society benefits from my profession. I am typically one of 4 people spending 4 months creating a product that will put 1200 people out of work for a decade. In other words, for every hour I work, I create 120,000 hours of unemployment. Those people probably made about $12/hr as clerks, I was making $30/hr. so every dollar I made was eradicating $48,000 of their employment. If they paid a tax of .002% they could entirely pay me off to not take their jobs. My whole profession could be said to be 'working smarter'. Thanks to programmers, people are shifting their employment to telemarketing and watching cars in parking lots. Soon we'll be working in our underground Murlock office coming up at night to snack on an occasional Ilois.

Of course I do. But in this case I didn't feel like checking a ``yes'' or ``no'' answer to a question that's too complex to be dismissed as easily and finally as that, and the survey creator provided me an easy out by wording the question badly.

Why do you ask?

Because I didn't imagine it might be your out. An easier out would have been to simply not comment. Because you seem to repeat this pattern, and I suspect that your goal is to induce clarified wording, but I doubt your comments are heeded, rather I suspect they are a turn off to those who feel you should be able to understand the question, and are merely trying to be a pain. Me, I just find it funny. There was a time many years ago, when I was writing cover letters that I used very sophisticated syntax to load as much explicit content into sentences as terse as possible. I was writing logic puzzles, and people prefer to get a gist without crunching their brains around permutations of conjunctions of clauses. If you can deliver masters content in 4th grade english, you will generally please people more than if you express high school content with masters formal english. Get it? (Do you comprehend the embodied philosophies, presuppositions, generalised observations, and hypothetical repurcussions of the preceding passages?)

Stand back folks, this one could be a doozy!

There is delicious irony in the confrontational and condescending manner in which you are offering advice on how to give criticism which will be well received. Yum, irony.

The ones I like such as the Vin de Glaciere are good sweet white wines, though the Gewürtztraminer and Riesling are a bit 'Oak'y which I like. Gamay Beaujolais (best served with turkey) probably epitomizes what you don't like in red wines which I am not fond of either. Seems everyone now drinks Merlot which was hardly on the shelves 20 years ago. You might look into Meads (Honey), Methlegins (berry mead), and pyments (floral methlegins). They're not difficult to make and are red and sparkling though sweet. Anything naturally fermented at 22% alcohol will be sweet because that is the point at which the yeast dies and stops converting sugars.

Sure, but recall California had to revitalize their grape crop.

I had a great marketing idea for 'thunderbird' or 'night train express' style wine labeling: No label on the bottle, just minimal labeling requirements on a brown paper bag affixed to the bottle. No questions about it's purpose. Ooh, I just got a brand name: "Why know?"

Oh, so pathetic. Never. Actually a few months ago I asked for a dinner date from one of my my 2 pseudo girlfriends, both of 2 years standing. Till 2 months ago when they both turned on me.

Tonight I went to a fair in Silverlake to see my girlfreinds band play. I ditched her at her implied request because she realized she was on a date with a guy from anather band. I went to dance to a swing band, kinda wishing I'd get picked up for the first time, even though I'm not ready for an overnighter. Well this cute young drunk guy was all over me, and constantly praising me, somewhat amazed at my amazon height (6'2"). I had to display 'I don't this guy' though when the singer said everyone get naked, and he did.

What do you mean 'duh'? I've turned down a similar invitation from a ladyfriend. Some of us aren't interested in being on either side of that arrangement.

You're not like most men, though darling. Admit it. I believe most hetero or bisexual men offered the chance to slip their member up inside a charming woman's rear end, would probably not refuse. I may be wrong. I doubt it though.

Sounds like survey material. I'd be curious to see some sort of demographics of viewpoint with it. Subtle ones. Like whethar they would consider it an expression of love or just getting their kicks, or if they've a perhaps morbid fascination with the idea that conflicts their mandates of conduct, or if they operate on solely personal ethics & morality, but are just kinda grossed out by the idea. It's too bad I'm grossed out by the idea, considering my own predicament.

What grosses you out, if you don't mind my asking?

doo doo. I've experimented with a dildo in case I go that route. But so far I seem to be opting for celibacy or pseudo lesbianism. The latter would suit me indefinitely if I could find a mate with that preference. Also I'd like to be able to wear hot pants, tight jeans, and a bikini, not loose dresses and a skirted one piece swim suit. Mostly though my desires for a different anatomy are for just that. I probably won't be satisfied in that regard till I'm pregnant.

No. Without them we wouldn't have places like Hearst castle, though it would be nicer if the public could create such places again. Bill gates personally has about $1000 per Californian, $100 per US citizen, or $10 per world resident. I heard something like the 30 richest people have an equivalent wealth to the lowest 3 Billion people. And that's what works in a capitalist system where the money is fictitious. When I was a kid the US debt reached the billions. Now we speak of such things in the trillions. Money has to be put out of commission by people like Bill, because it really didn't exist in the first place, and if it was actually spent we would have a hyperinflation like the wheelbarrel of deutschmarks required to buy a loaf of bread in the 30's. We print money at a level to sustain consumer industry by bailing out credit companies. I live just as well materially on $715 a month as when I was making $80k/yr.

I've noticed the odd peculiarity in my own experience that the harder you work, the less you get paid:

Fastfood $6/hr

Mechanic $15/hr

Programmer $30/hr

Cartoonist $40/hr

Psychic $80/hr

Bill Gates $1066666.66/hr (Based on 2 billion yr). I believe one of his childhood goals was to make a million an hour. See my rate calculator at www.ereiam.com if you want to convert anykind of salary into an hourly rate (which I made last night because I charge on a sliding scale based on hourly) I do have a problem that society in general is disproportional like this. In my mind there should be equal opportunity to be a doctor or fastfood employee, and equally dedicated practitioners of either vocation should have equal benefits. But I didn't write the system. Make college another job instead of something you pay for and socialize lawsuits and most of that would change. You'd also get people who were happier about there position as a cook or doctor.

Are you suggesting that doctors and fast food employees be paid the same?

Yes, I sure am. The only reason now to justify the difference in pay is the cost of education, and operation costs if the doctor is paying for facility costs or liability; the stress of responsibility which is optional depending on one's state of consciousness. If one person enjoys flipping burgers and does it well, and another enjoys and excels at medicine, each should attend to their calling, unhindered by economic motivation. There is the issue of genetic intelligence, but are we really the former caste system of India in which your material success is entirely dependant on who your parents were? The above chart was my career history (except for being mr. gates), and I feel that being a burger cook should have been the highest paying amongst those jobs. It was certainly the toughest. As a mechanic I repaired computers and built entire wiring looms above factory quality. As a programmer, I knew how to hot-rod Ole automation of Visual Fox Pro better than the microsoft programmers that wrote it. I am a gifted psychic with metaphysical training since the age of 5. I am a genius living on $715/month while lecturing on metaphysics, currently to buddhists, though I have recently decided to make money again. What's your argument for paying doctors more?

Brilliant, but you're confusing existing 'what the market will bear', with the alternative 'supply and demand'. Imagine if all the burger flippers who wanted to be doctors flooded that segment, and employment costs were isolated from operating expenses. The same has already happened in the computer programmers market. There was a time when a degree was necessary from a university with some IBM 360's and a punch card reader (which was how I learned.) A programmer was sure to make at least $40/hr in todays money. But now, with equal access to training tools, and employment based on skill demonstration, it is not uncommon to see skilled database coders making $15/hr.

Nice explanation, but I think it does have quite a lot to do with how 'hoard' they work. I don't disagree, but gaining experience in a way is demonstrating commitment if not hardship. In my eyes, it should be judged as a benchmark equally with sweat in fields that do not isvolve continuing education. What I want to know from you is do you consider it ultimately just that Scott Adams makes more money than an intensely dedicated grade school teacher? I have one friend who was a wondrous sweet & brilliant teacher, but had to resume mechanic-ing for the money. Visit the 'Economic Justice Discussion Room' at http://www.progress.org/banneker-cgi-bin/webbbs/config.pl . I haven't been there for months, but we discuss some radical thought. My main contribution was a dual system of socialized contract labor bidding (6 hrs week of garbage pick-up or 20 of librianship as adjusted by comparative demand for jobs) which would earn people their income; and a second system of monopoly money where popular vote launches public funding of enterprises like videogame production where management uses their semi-fictitious budget to bid on the highest caliber staff to meet their objectives. The fictitious rates of these workers would rise with demand, though they would only be motivated by prestige, education, and dedication. The system could gradually be implemented through corporate labor pools and intranet availability, bidding, and performance reviews.

You're a princess of cups (heart centered). You want to know the standard material stuff like wealth and relationships. Your relationship looks great (like young love). Your mind is heading towards difficult labors. Your emotions are heading towards the Queen of cups (dignity and loving grace). Your also heading towards greater prosperity, perhaps getting a house with your mate. You've entered the spirit realm and it's been slightly horrific, you have put off tryng to comprehend it, and have been 'happy go lucky' in it's application. You need to concentrate more on yourself as a person. Nonetheless, you seem inclined to move from the occult to the mystic. Honestly, I'm having an awful time with this reading: The cards descibe one woman, while my radio channelling describes a depressed and somewhat angry guy. I'd be tempted to think you were someone I knew to some degree, but the cards say not. You have a powerful connection with your family. You stay distant from strangers. You have a powerful hold on your friendships, which I suspect are few, with emphasis on your mate. You want a major change regarding work. You place strong value in the material as this is where your heart can relate. You want to be 'successful' and will get there by being clever. You have to watch out for being settled in a lush home, because it will prompt you to become jaded and distant; instead you should be mastering responsibility. The contemplative experiences of your drug use will lead to some self-empowering revelations. In the past you had a hellish relationship with a good man but you've no further need for remorse over your ruthlessness. Hope there's some truth in all that. As I said, I'm floundering in doubt tonight.

- Does seem you know me well enough to use the dreaded title 'Mr.'. Tomorrow, I change that (or at least get the paperwork to do so), Yea. :-) Fortunately no one I've been meeting lately catches on. They get thrown for a loop when I mention my ex-wife, or why they might get a complaint about my using the woman's room. I was dancing tonight with a guy who was all over me and amazed at my height (6'2"). I was so 'I don't know this guy' when the swing bang singer at the fair said everyone get naked, and he dropped his shorts in front of me. Alcohol.

I've got to get to bed now, but I'd be happy to give you a free reading (contact through my site methods (e-mail) at EreIam.com).

As to your prior comment: you're somewhat of a fatalist. You don't believe the system can be changed. Look at the USSR. The only thing keeping the US from the same fate (we too live on fictitious wealth and depleted resources) is the public faith that the money still holds value and the system works. Opportunities for change exist, and in fact we are evolving towards the system I envisioned anyhow. (for the lower classes).

Epsilon & Alpha evolving to Ilois & Murlock? What I would at least like to see is job placement based on interests. It annoys me that the minimum wage clerk at a Betty Boop paraphernalia store has no knowledge or interest in the topic, while a golf caddy somewhere loves Fleischer and could care less for 9 irons. Also, I would like to see the alphas have ample opportunity for utilizing their gifts. On the other hand I actually do support the return to village life. Every few blocks in the city would be responsible to some degree for rooftop gardening, waste water reclamation, a kibbutz style daycare, local enterprise (in a populist vote corporate-city-state). Centralized resource management has not shown to be effective. We need to stop commuting and behaving like resource gathering and waste dumping at remote geographies can sustain global evolution.

Wow, you're actually making sense to me now! Some of your ideas in this exchange seem like good ones, but it's hard to imagine how they could possibly come about because our society has gone too far in the wrong direction. Hopefully we'll at least see a gradual change as we humans evolve further and get back in touch with things that are more important than money.

Eh, some was on, but a lot was off. I don't have a mate, I've never used drugs (other than smoking pot a couple of times), and I love my job and don't want a change. I am a female, btw. Too bad. I would really like to believe psychic could exist.

Oh, thanks for noticing. I was using references obscure to those who don't read their utopian classics. There is a major difference in my goals here now. I am speaking in worldly terms on worldly topics. A year ago I was taking on the daunting task of being the logos for anyone here I could get to migrate into the mystic. I wouldn't be able to read the stuff now myself in all their originally intended time and interpersonally-psychic dependant contexts. To use the old biblical terms, there are the 'quick', and the 'dead'. I know more about what I can change and what to spend my effort on. I'm proud of what I accomplished way back then even if only 2% of you had a clue what I was doing. I don't think I'm even up to it now. I'm thankful that everyone put up with me during that period.

Well, I didn't really put up with you...I had you filtered for a long time, but I've undone that now. I don't think you can do much for people if you can't communicate on their level, but that's just my opinion.

Consider how foreign language is best taught by immersion. My best success has been teaching one on one with students actively seeking. I provide them first with theory then demonstrate how we can communicate using the radio or TV instead of speaking. I was trying to communicate experience, not theory, otherwise I wholeheartedly agree with you. Recently I've been invited a few times to lecture to buddhists on parallels between the lotus sutra and hindu & jewish (spanda karikas/cabalah) metaphysical/mystic principles. I try to keep the talk down to earth, but still end up with people saying I'm way over their heads. People with just a meagar awareness of primitive karma aren't going to have experiences to tie my lectures to no matter how concise or structured I speak.

Daily. I use two kitty boxes and a large mesh ravioli strainer. I just pour one pan through the strainer into the fresh pan, and throw the old pan into the shower for rinsing. I buy the clumping litter in bulk at the pet supply: 30 lb. for $10.

She maintained her existing relationship and added mine. We got so close that I could phone her and see through her eyes out the window. On my last visit I had the dreadful experience of having my soul drain. She accused me of draining her soul, then phoned me later with death threats, likewise to my mom in SF,CA,US and ex-wife in AK,US. I had the sensation of her spirit visiting like a banshee, but don't call as per her request. Just pray, research, and call her daughter.

Until this disastor, we remained soulmates, though the lover aspect passed and she made her prior full time in that regard.

I'd hate to see such devotion and kinship lost. You probably let your intimacy grow because no one let their lust motivation take over their own regard for the foundation or cast doubts in the other's. Honest communication is always the best. You could end up in a threesome, though I've never known one to work; everyone involved must first transcend jealousy & attachment, yet still offer loving commitment. Otherwise you have to set up the rules so anyone who parts, leaves with mutual blessings, and still, people age; who want's to invest a partnership that will inevitably end. A lot of people who meet solely for art functions or such are on hugging terms. I wish society was on cuddling terms. Suspicion and jealousy are to blame, and the answer is for all parties involved to express their deepest wishes and concerns. Sex can be an immensely powerful experience; In it's tantric form you can experience a 1000 generations of your lover's incarnations. I've found out too late that people I had a secret crush on, had the same for me. I suspect your freind does too. I also suspect everyone is a bit 'bi'. Discuss your safety zones. Nothing good was ever accomplished through fear.